My friend LLB is fond of saying “there are no accidents in life.” She believes that things happen for a reason. If true, that 2001 school carnival was certainly destined to be more than just a mere fundraiser.
I met her on the organizing committee of the carnival. We’d likely not have become friends otherwise. Her daughter is two years older than my oldest child, a huge age gap amongst elementary school aged kids. And their parents. Class field trip outings and after school pickups tend to be the popular places for parents of similar aged children to commiserate connect so it’s unusual to become friends with the parents of unfamiliar older or younger kids.
It was a godsend when she joined the committee. Until then, the popular fundraising option had been a community rummage sale with folks renting tables for $20.00 a pop. That would have raised a whopping $400.00. But another pal and I were gunning for a splashier fundraiser. We were hoping to raise funds to replace the school’s aging playground equipment and beautify the area with trees and benches. $400.00 wouldn’t have gotten us terribly far.
LLB understood immediately. Her positive outlook and persuasive arguments swayed the vote towards our idea of a full-blown carnival. Seven months later the ticket sales, silent auction, midway games, bake and plant sales carnival raised $3,500.00. Two years later we did it again and raised close to $4,000.00. Not bad for a small public school of 600 kids in the 90’s.
Those carnivals and the playground area are among my prouder “school mom” achievements.
This is how the playground area looks today some 12 years after our two carnivals.
Are we foolish enough to think that anybody remembers how these delights came to be? Absolutely not. It doesn’t matter. Achieving them is reward enough.
As our kids aged up to high school, LLB and I managed to stay in touch. Our friendship quickly moved on to wine imbibed lunches before branching out into craft fairs. Sharing a fondness for quirky folk art, we rarely miss spending large sums of money attending the annual gem of a Christmas craft fair in Vancouver together.
As much as we are alike we are also quite different. Not long after arriving at any craft fair, we quickly separate. LLB can spend hours chatting with the clothing vendors. A gifted seamstress, she’ll whip up endless outfits (often from her own pattern) just days before a vacation. As regular readers know, I’m not handy with a needle. In Just TypiKel fashion I was quite capable of blithely connecting my pant leg to my daughter’s Brownie banner while attempting to hand sew her badges on.
My sewing gifted pal was obviously the person I turned to for guidance in 2008 when my daughter’s bridesmaid’s dress proved to be 47 sizes too large. My niece’s wedding was a mere few weeks away. Did she know a good tailor who could make the necessary alterations?
“Let me have a look at it Kelly.”
No, that’s not what I meant. It would be a huge thing to ask of this busy mom. However my kinder than kind friend insisted.
“You don’t want to have to pay for expensive alterations.”
LLB’s face fell when my daughter emerged from her bathroom clutching the gown in a desperate effort to keep it from falling to the floor. As she slowly circled my embarrassed 14-year-old, foreign words pierced the air.
“So much ruching, oh the pleats, that yolk, and that side seam is tucked within the folds, … no… it’s too difficult… I couldn’t possibly …”
Enough. I dispatched my girl to scuttle back to her waiting well-fitting jeans. LLB slowly shook her head.
“I’m sorry but it’s too technical.”
I was actually relieved. I knew this was above and beyond the boundaries of friendship. My daughter emerged with the dress draped over her arm and bolted for the door.
“Let me have one more look.”
More silent circling as my now amused daughter held it up over her head.
“I love a challenge. Find out who the bride recommends for alterations and make an appointment. Give me a week. If I can’t do it, go to the appointment.”
How very kind. I booked the appointment and circled it on the calendar.
The phone rang in the afternoon of the next day.
“I’m done. Is M able to come over and try it on?”
Waving off any form of cash payment, LLB did an outstanding job. At least two other bridesmaids asked where she’d had her alterations completed.
Will I ever forget my friend’s compassion and awareness of a very urgent need? Not likely. And neither will my daughter.
Will You Be Remembered?
In the intervening years LLB and I have drifted apart a weensy bit. My endless writing and her hospital volunteering and frequent trips abroad account for a large part of this. But we never miss our celebratory boozy birthday luncheons. Hers in April and mine in August.
But not this year. Or indeed ever again.
I’m so sorry to reveal that my kind and talented friend passed away just two weeks ago after a three-month long illness.
Yes, terribly missed. And always remembered.
This post was inspired by the Finish The Sentence Friday prompt of “My Proudest Moment Was …”As always, our host is the lovely Kristi . Today’s guest hosts are Tarana of Sand In My Toes and Kerri of Undiagnosed But Okay.
This post is also but one of several that are being published today as part of the 1000 voices once again blogging for compassion. Check them out here.
Enough. I’m curious about you. Are you blessed with talented and compassionate friends? How have they enriched your lives? How did you meet? Do you believe things happen for a reason? Or sadly, are you also grieving the loss of a relative or friend? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
85 Responses
I’m so sorry about your friend.
Thank you Leslie. She will indeed be missed. I appreciate you dropping by and leaving a comment.
Beautifully written and a stunning tribute to such a wise go-getter friend. No doubt LLB is smiling over the fundraising, the dress and of course the boozy birthday lunches. Love the blossoms, too!
Thanks Wend. I think she is too. We did have us some laughs over the years and I’ll raise a glass (or 3) to her on her birTday in April. Every time I watch “Say Yes To The Dress” I grin when the girls come out with the clothespin holding the back of their dresses together. If not for LLB that could have been M!
That was a wonderful heartfelt tribute to your friend. I am so sorry for your loss. I am also truly blessed with amazing friends who I couldn’t imagine my life without.
Thank you Jane. I am very lucky to have you as one of my amazing friends.
Oh, Kelly. I can’t stop my tears. I am so so sorry for the loss of your wonderful friend. What a good soul! I burst out crying when I read that she had passed. But there is more and I’m off to e-mail you right now.
You and your friend and her family are all in my thoughts and prayers tonight.
Oh thank you Lisa. That is so very kind of you. I also cried when I typed the fact that she had passed. It is still such a shock and I didn’t truly believe it until I typed it. Thank you.
Oh Kelly – how hard to lose such a good friend. What wonderful memories you have shared of her. I have no doubt she would have had at least as many good things to say about you.
I would never have the nerve (or skill!) to alter a bridesmaid dress, but I am glad that we are friends. My heart goes out to you and your friend’s family.
Thank you so much Susan. It is hard and I don’t think I really realised that she is truly gone until I typed it. It’s hard to believe that such a creative spark is extinguished. I am glad that you and I are friends as well Susan. Can’t thank you enough for making the effort and reaching out!
Kelly,
You write so beautifully about your friend – her kindness, her passion for helping the kids, her fun times with you over long lunches, her insight in knowing M. needed her support. All these gifts freely shared, lovingly given – these are her legacy, not just to you and your family but to all of us who got a glimpse of her through your words…she will not be forgotten.
I”m tearing up here Mary. Thank you so much for your kind and insightful words. If I did all of that, I am glad. She won’t be forgotten.
What a lovley tribute Kelly. I am certain your friend and more importantly her family will love this. Often people are unaware how important their loved one is to others until they are gone. Your kind, loving words will mean so much to them. For now Kelly I am sorry for your loss. Friends like yours are hard to find an certainly bless our lives.
Thank you for this Janice. My sister also nudged me to alert her family to it. I was rather reluctant to do that but your point that her family might not be aware how important she was to others is a good one. I’ll wait until they reach out to me again and then send them a copy. Thank you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is so beautifully written – I actually gasped out loud when I got to the end. She sounds like a wonderful person who will be truly missed.
Thank you Lana for your kind words. I actually cried when I typed that she had passed on. Still can’t believe it. Her illness took her so quickly.
Shit. I did NOT see that awful ending coming…
A gorgeous tribute, and incredibly well written, and I’m so so sorry for such a devastating loss, Kelly. 🙁 I’m glad you have such lovely memories and years of wonderful times, but….shit 🙁
Shit. Exactly.
I also didn’t see that end coming and just so sorry for the loss of your wonderful friend, Kelly as from all you shared, she sounded like a truly amazing and kind-hearted person. Hugs to you and thinking about you today.
Thank you so much Janine. I, too, didn’t see that end coming. At least not so damn quickly. Please know that your kind words do help.
I am so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful tribute. Thank you for the reminder that sometimes what seems a small life well-lived can be the hugest accomplishment.
P.S. A local playground was remade in memory of a young mom who loved to frequent that space with her daughter while she was fighting cancer. Although this happened before we moved into the area, I never failed to think of the mom and the community members who came together for that tribute on all those long days of early motherhood when I’d sit watching my children. A playground is one of the sweetest gifts you can give a town. Wonderful.
Thank you so much for your kind words. And yes – sadly and happily (and yes that’s possible) our school also has an area devoted to the memory of a mom who lost her life to cancer. There’s a lovely garden and a bench set up in the area that she used to hold picnics with her children and their friends. As I drive or walk by I smile to see tired kids resting and chatting away on that bench. They have no idea or memory of the person it is honoring. A fact that would delight the mom!
Oh, Kelly. Oh no. I am so sorry. I did not see that coming. My condolences. And now, we will al remember her, too. Every time I visit a seamstress. My goodness, the alterations would have cost more than the dress! Thank you for sharing your tribute.
Thank you for your kind words Allie. It has been a difficult time. And you’re right – the alterations would have been more than the dress. LLB was one creative soul. I’ve been gifted with many of her treasures and am blessed to remember her daily. When I sit at the table (her tablecloth) water the plants (her decorated pot) or have a coffee (her mug). She will be remembered.
What beautiful tribute to your departed friend. The stories tell the tale that acts of kindness, done for no other reason than to help others, are what we remember the most fondly and with gratitude. Hugs to you, Kelly, as your heart heals from losing a dear friend.
Thanks for the hug Mo. You, most of all, do truly understand. Sending you a jumbo hug in return.
Oh Kelly – holding you with love in my heart. What a beautiful tribute to your friend.
Thank you Deborah. Please know that your kind words do truly help.
Kelly, it’s terrific that you have had so many kind and wonderful people in your life. LLB, who was certainly special as a friend and school mom collaborator, and the others that I’ve read about in your blog. You seem to be able to attract such people, and to flourish along with them. LLB is gone from this world, but she and the others in your life will be remembered by you and now by us, your readers. Thanks for sharing!
Oh Anna. Thank you so much for your kind words. The loss of LLB has been difficult as her illness took her so very quickly. Please know that your words really do help. Thank you.
Such a heartfelt tribute, Kelly. So sorry for your loss. I’m certain you’ll be doing a lot of smiling every time a challenging alteration is needed. Or even just a normal one. What a lovely way to be remembered.
Oh my yes, challenging alterations – well any alterations really as I am sewing challenged – will bring on many a smile, I do suspect. Your kind words helped a lot. Thank you Anne-Marie.
Kelly, I just learned last night of the passing of LLB. So sad. It does not seem so long ago that we were all at Armstrong, giving our best to make it a wonderful place for our kids. When I look at the playground, I will forever cherish the contributions of LLB and the love for her child. Your story is beautiful, touching and a lovely tribute to LLB. My heart and prayers go out to the family.
It is such a shock isn’t it Janice? And yes, surely it was just last year or the year before that we were all giving Armstrong our best. Time is indeed flying by. Thanks for popping by and leaving a comment. I do appreciate it.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Kelly. But I love that you remember the stories of fun with LLB, and of her jaw-dropping talent in the alterations department. This is a lovely tribute — and, based on the sketch you’ve given us of your friend, LLB would have loved it.
Thank you Harmony. I think she would have loved it too. While I wish we could have created more memories together I do cherish the ones that I have.
My darling Kelly, I am so sorry for your loss. May beautiful LLB’s memory be for a blessing. And you have such gorgeous memories of her. How wonderful of you to share them with us. What a special friend she was, and what a special friend you are. So much love from me to you.
Aw thank you Nicki. Your words help more than you know.
What a beautiful tribute to your friend Kelly. Sounds like the two of you had a very special relationship. How fortunate for both of you. I am sorry for your loss Kelly and thank you for sharing your grief with us.
Thank you for your kind words Nancy. I do appreciate them.
Oh Kelly!!! This was just such an exquisite tribute to this amazing woman and friend!! I am just so sick about her passing!! What a horrible loss…
My heart hurts for you. I am so sorry you lost such a beautiful friend. This was beautiful. You honored her in the perfect way.
Aw how very kind of you to say Chris. Thank you. Your words are very helpful.
So sorry for your loss!!! If I was there with you I’d likely be giving you a big hug holding you telling you I have no words…..A very fitting tribute to your friend indeed.
Thank you Kelli! I’m imagining the hug and gaining great strength from it.
I was saddened on reading your last few lines. What a loss of a kind and beautiful friend. You make such an important point – we will be best remembered for the good we do for others.
Thank you for reading Tarana. She was rather special and will be greatly missed.
oh Gosh! why do such nice people have to leave early 🙁
LLB was a kind soul, and I loved the tribute you have given her by going back memory lane and describing all her attributes.
Warm hugs coming your way, Kelly
xoxo
Thank you so much Ruchira. I do appreciate it.
So sad, Kelly, that this wonderful woman will not continue to be part of your life. Most certainly, though, she will stay alive in your memories. I’ve lost a number of friends too soon. So odd it seems to come suddenly after (realized in retrospect, of course) a period where we’ve been out of touch. They come back to me often in scene flashes, words heard as wisdom exchanges and, curiously, smells. I’m sure LLB found her life here to be much richer having called you friend too.
Such wise, wise words Nanette. Thank you.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for sharing your wonderful story! May the memory of your friend always bring a smile to your face and keep your heart warm.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments James. I just replaced the tablecloth on my kitchen table with one that she made for me. And yes, it did bring a smile to my face.
Kelly, A wonderful tribute to your friend. I am sorry for your loss & I am certain you were a good friend to her, too.
Thank you Janet. That is very kind.
What a beautiful post. Sounds like she was an amazing person and definitely let her mark in a wonderful way. I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you Michele. She was.
I’m so, so sorry Kelly. I know how hard it is to lose a friend. This post is a wonderful tribute to her. It reminds me that we should tell our friends how amazing they are – I don’t do that often enough.
Thank you Dana. It is hard. And yes – I don’t tell my friends enough either.
Oh Kelly. Thank you for calling LLB’s name out for us in a way that shows how to remember and process letting go plus gives us a peek into another facet of your wonderfulness. Especially when you team up with pals. Having read about your sewing skills, you needed her. And knowing how much I enjoy “being with you” at Typikal, I bet ten dollars she reveled in your sense of humor. Thanks for sharing this, and a warm hug to you.
And wow, what a lasting memory in that playground. Seeing it reminds me that my actions are my legacy. So, with that thinking–every child who has ever swung on a swing or slid down the slide and every parent who has sat on that bench to watch, and every swing, slide, and sit to come are part of LLB’s legacy. And yours, dear one. Beautiful. Just beautiful.
And another Susan comment. Thank you. You do make my spirits rise.
Thank you for your kind words Susan. I do appreciate it. Made me grin when I read your sewing comment. Oh, so very true.
Kelly, I’m sorry about LBB. How wonderful that you found each other! I’m grateful for your fundraising efforts to perk up that playground, and I live 3,000 miles away (WTH is that in clicks, BTW??!). I love it when you meet someone and just click. Still, I’m sorry that she has passed. Hugs.
Thank you Katy. 3000 miles is 4828.03 in clicks. Ha! Had to google of course. Am still processing things in miles much to my children’s horror.
I can completely identify with the playground equipment accomplishment! My daughter’s school of 670 kids needs as much parent involvement as we can give it. Seeing real results of your work efforts is hugely satisfying, even if it’s not permanently remembered. As for those in our lives who touch us deeply, I love knowing that they live on in our hearts and memories. Blessings to you and your friend.
Thank you Naomi. And yes you’re right – folks do live on in our hearts and memories.
Oh Kelly. I am so sorry. It is clear that she has made a good size dent in this world, in a good way. And with your story letting us know about her good self, it has become even bigger. That’s good living. Sorry for your loss.
Thank you Amy. I’d like to think that my little corner of a blog has helped her dent grow larger. Lovely way to put it. Thank you.
So sorry to hear of your friend’s passing. What a beautiful tribute…I’m sure she is smiling down at you this very moment. I am very blessed to have 3 very special friends in my ‘adult’ life. They have stood by me through some very tough times and yes we have had some ‘rowdy’ good times too! We are affectionately known as “the bitches” by many of our other friends and family. Each of us strong in our own way…..and a force to be reckoned with when we stand together! Thanks for reminding me just how blessed I am to have them in my life!
You’re welcome Debbie. Thank you for your lovely comment. And the smile – grinned when I read your “the bitches” nickname. That’s a hoot. May you have many, many, many more years together.
Oh, I’m so sorry about your friend losing her fight and you losing such a sweet friend!!!
I’ve thought about this kind of thing and sadly don’t know that I will be remembered. Better work on that:)
Thank you Kim. Your blog has touched so, so many lives.
Oh Dear Kelly, so sad to hear of the passing of your lovely friend.LLB. I have a beautiful, creative friend who writes funny sweet endearing tales of Mothers, children ,missing pies .Though we have never met, I know she is in my corner just as I am in hers.I am sure you know who I’m talking about. ♡♡♡
Absolutely heartwarmingly lovely. Thank you Barb. I do know who you’re talking about and she’s sending you the hugest of jumbo hugs right now. Thank you.
The world lost a gem, didn’t it? It’s also an incredible reminder of what we do in our time here. It’s not about accolades or degrees, raises or titles. It’s about being a friend, making a difference – and more than that, it’s doing those things because it’s right. That’s a legacy.
I’ve been blessed with kind and compassionate friends, including you, Kelly. They’ve made a huge difference in my heart and soul, even as I struggle with things not revealed in my writing. That’s a legacy, too. The best way have a good friend is to be one.
So beautifully put Eli. Thank you. I am sending you a giant hug as I understand some of what you’ve also been going through.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of you friend. She sounds like an amazing individual and I am sure she is smiling down on the tribute you have given in memory of your friendship. Take care of yourself and God Bless.
Thank you so very much for your kind comments Lindsay. I do appreciate them.
It sounds like you’ve learned a lesson that it took me a long time to learn: how to be a good receiver.
Being able to gracefully, graciously, and gratefully receive is the best gift you can give in return for another’s kindness. You have seen the result of that as you have good memories of your interactions with your lovely friend.
Thank you Kate. I do have some wonderful memories of her.
So many others have written such wonderful words in sympathy for you, I have nothing more to add but sincere thank you for honoring your friend by sharing her here with us. Peace to you (and cheers … I will think of this special friendship when next I lift a glass). with love, Heather
Thank you Heather. She’d love to know that you were thinking of us with the raising of a glass!
What a special friendship the two of you had creating the most beautiful memories with your quality time together. You will always have those precious memories of the legacy you each created for each other and for the community. Thank you for sharing. Much love to you.
Thank you Elda. I do have some wonderful memories.