Ordering Off The Children’s Menu at 91

Yes, she continues to defy the oddest of odds. Mom actually gets away with ordering off the children’s menu at 91.

And this is news because … ?

Because it’s a strict rule at the White Spot that you must be 10 and under to qualify and order from their Pirate Pak menu. Nobody visibly older gets away with it except on the annual special fundraising day  “… when adults can be kids again and enjoy their very own Pirate Pak!”  It’s true that on most days Mom can pass for 70 but 10? Sorry that’s more than a stretch; our nonagenarian shouldn’t have a hope in hell of ordering from it today.

A brief pause for a quick fill-in-the-blanks for my nonlocal readers. The White Spot chain of restaurants – home of the iconic Pirate Pak – is a British Columbian treasure. Founded in 1928 by Nat Bailey it is home to the legendary Triple O Burger. In recent years the menu has undergone extensive tweaking in order to keep up with current healthy lifestyles but its juicy burgers wrapped in soft buns remain an important fixture.  So much so that both my away at college children insist on stopping in at a White Spot after I pick them up at the airport. Before we go home. If you’d like more info check out their history link here.

Ordering Off The Children’s Menu at 91

Another reason her act of ordering off the children’s menu is news is because I wasn’t aware my mother had made a mistake by asking for it until a few days after the fact. I thought it was her intention all along. The fact that she didn’t mean to and got away with it makes the story even better. Ok let me set the scene.

She and I are out for lunch at her favourite White Spot. She is hosting another couple who have recently given a beyond kind and generous gift to my offspring. We open with her asking the waitress for the menu.

“May I see the little people’s menu, please?”

A startled look fleets across the server’s face. But she recovers remarkably well. I’m thinking she reckons our yet to arrive fellow diners must comprise at least one person who’s 10 or under rather than living with issues of restricted growth. Of course, if it was the latter and they were 11 or older they’d need to order from the adult menu.  She confirms my thoughts moments later by slapping down a purple Pirate Pak menu and requisite pack of crayons.

White Spot Pirate Pak Menu cover and crayons https://www.kellylmckenzie.com/ordering-off-the children's-menu-at-91/
The menu contains a wealth of games too!

“Oh now isn’t this fun, Kel! They gave me crayons! I’ll keep them to mix in with my water colours. Perfect!”

This surge of enthusiasm over a pack of crayons should be my first clue that the situation is somewhat novel for mom. The act of her sprinting away to show off both the menu and the crayons to an old friend previously spied sitting at another table should be my second. However, I’m oblivious as our guests have arrived.

“I’m ordering from the Pirate Pak menu, Bob and Sue. You’re welcome to have a look at it too if you like. You too, Kel!”

Mom has a tendency to order right away when she dines out. I guess she likes to get that over with so she can launch into the purpose of a get together over food: a good and proper catch up.

Bob, a recently retired pediatrician, is puzzled. Not at the quick ordering (he knows Mom very well) but at the menu choice.

“Are you sure we’re allowed to? I thought it was only for children.”

Mom dismisses his concerns with her trademark sweeping arm’s length wave. She just manages to avoid taking out her water glass.

“Nonsense. I do it ALL the time here.”

As Sue quietly inquires about my mother’s menu choice Bob casts an eager eye over the menu.

The White Spot Pirate Pak menu options. https://www.kellylmckenzie.com/-ordering-off-the-children's-menu-at-91/
This children’s menu is a 4 Step Process

He turns to me for confirmation.

“So we get to choose an entrée, side dish, beverage and ice cream for $6.99? And if I want a second side dish I can get it for an extra dollar?”

I’ve no idea. It’s been years since my two children consulted the Pirate Pak menu.

A quick perusal confirms his assumption. You do get all of that for $6.99 with the option to order a second side for a dollar more. I can well understand his apoplectic delight. The adult entrée version of his personal choice – fish and chips – starts at $12.99.

Now at this point I’ll bet you’re thinking I should speak up and say something. I should. But I simply can’t. This situation is the very essence of Mom.  She’s bonked her head in a couple of recent falls and this is one more example that she’s recovering nicely. While she’s never mentioned the wonder of the Pirate Pak to me before her enthusiasm is a joy to see. Plus both Bob and Sue are fully onboard with the plan.

But someone else is most certainly not.

“Um. I’m not even sure if you can do this, Ma’am…” broaches the weary waitress whose pen now hovers paralytically mid scribble.

“Oh but it’s fine. Truly. I do this all the time. It’s marvelous.”

Mom’s enthusiasm is unassailable. The waitress numbly nods and takes our orders. One adult toasted shrimp sandwich, two Pirate Paks with grilled cheese sandwiches and a side of veggies and dip, and one Pirate Pak with fish and chips, a side of coleslaw and ice cream for dessert. Twenty minutes later everyone is thrilled with their choices as the portions are perfect and the food is delicious.

Bob and Sue are definite converts. “We’re so glad you introduced us to the Pirate Pak option. From now on that’s all we’ll order from!”

I’m not so sure about that. Three days later my darling mother spills the beans. I overhear her giggling to my niece that her request for “the little people’s menu” was a mistake. She really meant “the senior’s menu.”

“I always order from the senior’s menu. The prices are a weensy bit cheaper and the portions are much smaller than the adult menu. You have to ask for it. Sadly it doesn’t come with crayons.”

Oops.

Enough about me and my mom’s ordering off the children’s menu at 91. I’m curious about you. Are kids menus taboo to those older than 10 in your part of the world? Do you order off the seniors menu even if you’re 40? Or do you get the adult version and take home the left overs? Better yet, could you mail them to Mom? She adores leftovers and has been known to share them with strangers living on the streets.

A brief note to thank you for reading my blathering  hopefully entertaining words. If you’d care to share this post or my blog with your pals I’d be thrilled. Furthermore, I’d be over the moon with delight if you signed up for a subscription or “liked” my Face Book page. Surely we can all do with more giggles in our lives. Thank you ever so much.

Share the Post:

Comments

51 Responses

  1. An absolute delightful story with great consideration for future outings…however I must confess that some people will try almost anything to ascertain where the young 92 year old lady so going for tea!!! It won’t work

    1. Oh this makes my day! Thanks James. For popping by and reading and leaving a comment. And yes, I am so thankful Saturday is almost here and we’ll all learn where she’s going for tea. Your “92” is noted. I’m heading over to change up the title of the area where I store the posts devoted to her! Enjoy tomorrow! Can’t wait to hear all about it.

  2. Good god, Kelly. Are you watching my every move?? Your readers must think I’m a total lulu. Anyway, isn’t it nice that James is kidnapping me tomorrow…I haven’t the least idea where we are having tea. Exciting. The people in my building are all wondering too! I asked if I should wear boots and he said, no, no hiking, just smart casual. Asked Sylvia what that meant – and we,ve put out two separate costumes. La di da. Mum.

    1. Hahahaha! Laughed out loud at your comment re me watching your every move. SO funny! Thanks so much for popping by on your 92nd birthday. Yes, best to leave the hiking boots at home tomorrow I’m thinking. Tea conjures up images of white gloves and shiny shoes … not steel toes … I’m sure you’ll have a splendid time. Looking forward to hearing all about it! Happy, Happy Birthday!

  3. The “little people menu” I so love that and why not for goodness sake! I think she has more then earned that right….to order off any menu she pleases! Me…one of my little pet peeves..is the fact that when I go to my favorite hamburger/ice cream restaurant (Culver’s) I have to ‘request’ my senior discount. It is never offered or automatically done…I always must ask. “My I have my senior discount please?”, “I didn’t grow this grey hair for nothing ya know!”…..and so it goes……

    1. Hmmm… I was with a pal at the movies and she was asked if she qualified for the senior discount. She was horrified. I wonder if that plays into their policy of not offering it? Still. It’s difficult especially when the senior doesn’t know that the policy is available. Good on you to ask for it and I do understand your frustration for having to do so!

    1. Janice! Hi lovely to hear from you.Thanks for popping by and leaving a comment. I’m with you – they should indeed give crayons with the senior menus too. Mom would love that and I’m sure she’s not the only one.

  4. Oh my goodness, thank you for making my day and especially your Mum’s reply, I am still laughing !! I have often been known to order a kid sized ice cream cone, but have never ventured to the kid or senior menu yet ! Figured the time for the senior menu is approaching fast enough !

    1. Yes me too Jane – that senior’s menu is creeping ever closer. By Mom’s reply did you mean the one she left in comments? If so, I too am still laughing. Saw her last night and she asked me again if I’m following her every move. My sister jumped in with a giggle and said “yes she is and we LOVE it.” Mom gave a great speech basically saying life at 92 feels just like life at 72 only perhaps a wee bit slower. May we all feel that way.

      1. Yes, that was the comment ! Having met your wonderful Mum, I can just picture her saying it too. I heartily agree with your sentiment that we should all feel that way at 92, she is a treasure !!

  5. “Oh but it’s fine. Truly. I do this all the time. It’s marvelous.”

    This, in a nutshell, is why I love your mother.

    As for me, it’s grown-up menu, sans crayons, and lots of leftovers.

    1. Don’t you just love leftovers? I am a huge fan. My sister had a dinner for Mom last night to celebrate her 92nd birthday and the birthday girl went home with dinner for at least two. Perfect. I of course forgot the crayons I’ve been carrying around since that infamous order off the children’s menu lunch. Oops.

  6. Once Mama hit her 90s she did what she darn well pleased. I mean, she milked her cute little old ladiness like a pro, saying no one would yell at her. And they didn’t, even the people standing behind her fully loaded grocery cart in the 10 items or less lane.

    1. Mom says this sort of thing all the time. Too funny Susan. Love that your Mama toddled over to stand in the 10 items or less lane. Oh this makes me smile. Thank you.

    1. Oh it’s been quite the ride I have to say. Thank you for your kind words – I’ll pass them on to the birthday girl!

  7. Another confirmation, Kelly. I want to be in your family. And I certainly want to call your mum, mine. Oh, her spunk and great ideas!

    About your question on asking for the kid’s menu: I want more than that, I want this idea to go viral with a message that we all need less food. (At least that was a little rant my doctor made this week–the whole portion thing is whale-sized.)

    I’m one of the founding “likers” to your blog. So, I’ll share this post and your mum’s idea.

    1. Thank you Susan for sharing. You are indeed one of the founding likers and I thank you for your never ending support. I have recently starting watching “The Biggest Loser”. Initially resisted it as I didn’t really understand the premise. But now I get it and love it. Tremendous support there. I often marvel at the portion sizes in both restaurants and coffee shops. Have you seen the cookies out there? Some of them are larger than a salad plate! Could feed a ’50’s family of four…

  8. You have the most wonderful stories, Kelly. I love this one. My daughter is very petite and she is 13, so she is still in the habit of ordering off the children’s menu when it suits her. Being a very mature 13 year old for her age, this is more a matter of appearance than it is cost of course! Especially since she isn’t footing the bill! Haha. My husband would love for her to keep doing it, but I have stayed with the concept that she should be allowed to choose, assuming they let her.

    1. Thank you Amy. Oh let’s hope they let her continue to order off the children’s menu for a longggg time! I was like that too – it annoyed the hell out of me that I was still asked for ID at 27. Wouldn’t mind it now …

    1. You mean to tell me you girls still haven’t got those adoption papers? Love that you also order off the children’s menu. WOW. I’m having dinner with Mom tonight – her birthday has turned into birthday weekend – and I’ll update her! Thanks Ashley.

  9. I love it and think your mom is a truly incredible lady!!!
    I don’t even order from the kids menu at McDonalds drive thru where they would never know because I’m a hog and eat a lot!!!

    1. Oh Kim you should! I hadn’t thought of doing it in the drive thru – clever. I’m going to advise Mom to do that. She’d love it.

  10. So funny! I will order from the kids’ menu for fast food, but not in a restaurant with a waiter or waitress. But when I’m 91, I will do whatever I want.

  11. actually – in my part of the world, senior citizens can order off the children’s menu – it isn’t a well known fact though. But then again, I agree, at 91 you should be able to do whatever you want. I don’t know if I’m ready to begin doing it though!

    1. I’m not ready to do it yet either … funny thing is seniors can order off the children’s menu here as well (not broadly acknowledged here either) EXCEPT at this particular chain of restaurants – the White Spot. I think it’s because back in the day they made a huge deal about these Pirate Paks being so special for the ten and under.

  12. Your mom is such the charmer! And, I have been known to order the Happy Meal for myself. It’s a breeze to do so especially in the drive-thru, but even inside the folks at Mickey-D’s don’t blink an eye. Really, $2.99 for a hamburger, fries, apple slices (so important to get some nutrients) and a small drink is the perfect price for the perfect meal! I even take the toy and stash it away for the Operation Christmas Child shoebox each year.

    1. $2.99? Wow! I love this idea Katy. I’ll check it out here too. Suspect it’ll cost a bit more – I’ll let you know.

  13. Kelly, this was just what I needed to start my day with a smile. Your mom is wonderful! I hope my mom is having that much fun when she’s in her 90s!

    1. Donna! I am so glad to hear from you and to know that it helped kickstart your day. I’ll let Mom know. She celebrated her 92nd last week and gave a little speech at dinner. “The thing I want everyone here to know is that 92 is just like 72. I truly feel the same as I did then.” And she mentioned it again to me over the phone the next day. Let’s hope we all feel like that when we’re in our 90’s. Cheers to your mom!

    1. Well at least one of the very few! So funny to learn days later that it wasn’t her intention. Thanks for popping in on your special day. Happy Birthday!

  14. Too funny! My oldest is 9 and he’s been ordering off the adult menu for a year now, so I haven’t been questioned about age before. I kinda wish he’d stick to the kids menu sometimes. It’s cheaper!

    1. OH I know Jennifer. It’s so much better for the wallet when they stay with the kids menu! I can ask Mom to pop down and visit you if you like! :)))

  15. I love the stories about your sassy mom! I order off the kids menu a lot but only when it is sanctioned by the restaurant. I don’t have the chutzpah to pull it off like you mom did!

  16. I think it’s perfectly legit for your Mom to order from the kid’s menu. She’s 91, and 9+1=10 😀 Your Mom is a hoot, Kelly. May she order many more Pirate Paks.

    1. Thanks for this Lyn. I agree with you – and love the 9 + 1 + 10. Brilliant. The corker is she has since rediscovered the “older option” menu and is more than willing to order off of it. And you’re right – she is indeed a hoot.

Related Posts

NEW BOOK, SPECIAL OFFER

Free Chapter!

Get the first chapter for FREE! Simply register for the newsletter and you will receive a link by email to download the first chapter of the book.