My 91-year-old mother can still shock the hell out of me. This time it happens while we’re cruising 38,000 feet up.
“My Doctor says I’m not to travel any more. I don’t care. I’m living life to the fullest – at 91.”
Wait. What? She’s not to travel anymore? And she tells me this now? I turn to question her further. She takes no notice. You see she’s not talking to me but rather to the chap sitting on her other side. In the window seat; a complete stranger.
“Why does the doctor not approve?” asks the startled yet thoroughly captivated fellow.
My ears strain to hear her answer. It’s difficult over this sudden pounding of my heart.
“Oh you know. At my age parts are wearing out, bits are falling off and there are all those pills to remember. I suppose she’s worried I’ll suddenly pop off or something. But I’m not worried. I’m living life to the fullest – at 91.”
She may not care but I do. My responsibilities have ramped up exponentially. They are now stratospheric. Yes, this revelation changes everything. The two of us are flying to Los Angeles for a three night stay with my niece and her husband. Up until now it was just one more trip. We’ve had years of travel together. Now that she’s in her 90’s it’s a case of me looking after check-in, our bags and pushing her airport wheelchair that eases the long trek to the departure gate. But this changes everything. Suddenly I’ve become the companion to someone who’s travelling without the blessing of her doctor. Wonderful.
Horrid thoughts flood my brain. Anything’s possible. What if she has a fall? Or catches a cold that leads to pneumonia? Or, God forbid, has a dizzy spell that results in a long spell in hospital far from everyone but her granddaughter? What am I doing bringing her away from close proximity to her doc? The sole person who’s keeping her alive. I’m such a fool.
Her next question to Window Man bring me back to earth.
“You don’t have a cold do you? I can’t sit next to anyone with a cold. If I get one it’ll lead to pneumonia which will be the death of me.”
The penny drops. She’s no fool; this wily gal who’s living life to the fullest – at 91. She’s planned this revelation with great care. Of course. Offhandedly reveal it to me at 38,000 feet where I can do nothing. Calm my worries with a follow up question designed to underline the fact that she is aware she’s not to catch a cold or get sick so far from her doctor.
Clever woman. I turn back to my book. She’s not finished.
“I’ve come to realise it’s my life. I want to live it my way.” Oh boy. That is the truth. Who am I to limit her life? If she’s game then I should be too. I vow to lighten up and try not worry so much.
The next four days zip by. As per usual life with my mother is never dull. Always game to shop she expresses a deep desire for a pair of shocking purple pants. Ones that “old ladies would never wear.” This doesn’t shock me. She’s never been afraid of colour. In and out of shops we go. Over lunch at a charming outdoor restaurant my niece C expresses a wish to connect with our LA cousin. Perhaps now would be a perfect time? Mom, always in the know, tells us he’s out of town for a few months so she’d rather not scout out his house. C and I have other ideas. We conspire to drive by “on the way to the mall.” Mom won’t notice the slight detour.
Twenty minutes later we’re just blocks from his house in an enchanting residential area. “There’s no mall around here!” chirps Little Miss Observant who’s living life to the fullest – at 91. Of course she’d notice. What were we thinking?
While the purple pants remain elusive Mom’s energy flags only at night. In the day she plays the tourist with the energy of a person half her age. It’s remarkable.
Still I can’t help but hover which annoys her intensely.
“Kel, don’t fuss so much. I’m being careful. Enjoy the trip and don’t worry. I’ll be fine.
She is. Four days later she sails into the security area at the LA airport all in one piece. The picture of health.
I overhear her chatting with the security guard who’s gently patting her down.
“Oh I’ll be back very soon. I still have to find a pair of shocking purple pants!”
Bless you Mom. You are an inspiration. May we all be living life to the fullest – at 91.
Enough about me and my living life to the fullest – at 91 mom. I’m curious about you. Can your mom still shock you? Do you still feel young? Do you know where one can purchase a pair of shocking purple pants? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
68 Responses
I’m a little bit suspect of your statement that you were in LA and couldn’t find shocking purple pants? I’m thinking there may have been a wee bit of Kellevasiveness going on there with Mom. Love it!
Sadly no Kellevasiveness in the picture at all Linda! Though I do love that word. Well done you. We found some just not in her size. Most of the shops were leaning towards tinier sizes. Had we a week I suspect we would have been able to scout out a pair. Ah well. Gives us a reason to go back!
what a fun read! thanks for sharing it. I hope your mom finds the purple pants – I guess you could always die some. Be glad your mom has this much energy and life – she sounds so entertaining. I admire that she is going to live her life on her terms
Thanks Vickie! Yes Mom is quite something and we do treasure her. We always say they broke the mold when they made her. Just got off the phone with her and she did more yesterday than I did.
I love this Kelly ! Having had the pleasure of spending time wih your amazing Mum, I can well imagine her wearing purple pants ! I shall let you know if I come across any. We are both so blessed to have had remarkable Mum’s, mine was still driving ” poor old dears ” around at 91 !!
Love that Jane. I do wish I could have met her. However, I feel I did somehow. You are very like her I suspect.
@Linda Watson — Kellevasiveness — *snort!!*
So the best place to find odd and unusual clothes of any color is a great thrift shop. If your mom isn’t a thrift shopper, tell her it’s an adventure — which it always is! Find one in a wealthy area, because these shops often have killer designer clothes for great prices. And then skim the pants aisles with an eye for color. You don’t have to leaf through every pair of pants — just look for shocking purple! Then, take yourselves out for an indulgent lunch with all the money you saved! 😀
Brilliant idea Harmony. She recycles her own clothes that way! I bet she hasn’t thought to buy something there though. I’ll suggest it. I know she’d be up for it! I’ll let you know how it goes.
“Kel, don’t fuss so much!!!” What a gal! What a corker! May I be so at 91…
My goodness… what a fabulous role model she is. Get that woman some purple pants!
Take good notes, Kelly! Chances are you’ll be just like her at 91. Who knows, maybe you’ll inherit her purple pants… *just sayin’* 🙂 ♥ Much love to you AND your mom! ♥ O:)
Oh Jean Mom would LOVE you. I just know! Yes she is a gem. Just got off the phone with her where I learned she did more than I did yesterday. The hunt for the purple pants continues.
This brought tears to my eyes. At 75, while my Mom would totally wear purple pants (or at the very least, purple sweatpants with a bedazzled purple sweatshirt), I suddenly feel her growing older in leaps in bounds. I love how you love your Mom, and how saucy and delicious she is, even at 91. You’ve given me hope. Thank you for that.
Aw Jennifer thanks for your comments. My mom would also opt for the purple sweatpants with a bedazzled purple sweatshirt – in addition to the purple pants, of course. You’ve reminded me of a maroon velveteen leisure suit she once wore to Christmas Dinner. My nephews crowed with delight when they saw it and told her she reminded them of a famous rapper whose name escapes me …
Oh what a delightful blessing your mother is! Hope she finds those purple pants and gets to wear them on her next adventure.
Me too Deborah. Me too. I’ll keep you posted.
Your mom sounds like an awesome woman, Kelly! I love that she wants a pair of shocking purple pants! So cool! I don’t know if they’re shocking enough for her taste, but I saw that Macy’s has some (Just did a Google search).
Bless your heart Kristi. Thank you. I’ll call her right now!
Such a fun story and a wonderful lesson to all of us not to underestimate anyone.
Very true about the not underestimating, Naomi. Thanks for reading.
Dear Kel – had no idea you were in such a swither. The only thing I’m cross about is that we did not make it through the Movie lots. We’ll go back maybe later this year. Thanks to all your friend’s suggestions. I will try Macy’s, second hand shops, etc. Those pants are elusive! But I love the purple spotted runners the threeof us got! Love, Mum.
Hahahaha! Thanks for commenting Mum. Yes “lots” still left to see in LA!
What a wonderful example of the importance of truly engaging in life. I hope I have 1/2 that spunk at 91!
Me too Michele! Me too!
I shall stay on the hunt for pants that are just the right shade of bright! Another great moment was Gaga’s eagerness to jump right into the crush of people we came across at the Greystone Mansion even though we didn’t have tickets for the party. Come back soon please 🙂
So very, very true. She surged on into that crush didn’t she? Absolutely unforgettable. Thanks for the amazing time Chels. It was stellar. We’ll be back before you know it.
Kelly as usual you have me laughing my socks off. Your Mum is the best and I will be sharing this delightful story with everyone i know. My Mum is 70 and she has fire engine red hair, the reddest red she can get. Yes age is no barrier when style and fashion are at stake. Cheers to our age defying Mums.
Thanks for sharing Karen! You are right – we are indeed blessed. Love that your mom has fire engine red hair, the reddest she can get! My mom and her would get on famously.
Hi Kelly, Karen Main shared this story and I have to say your Mum is delightful.I do however understand your protectiveness as I cared for my Mum for many years. By the way I am the wearer of the fire engine red hair and love the spiked look at the moment. I love bright colors too . Your humour is inspring. Live life I say.
Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting! What a delight to hear from Karen’s mom. I just know that you and my mom would get along famously. As long as I can remember she has been spouting “NEVER be afraid of colour.” My niece just had a baby and I knit him a vibrant green and orange and blue blanket. His mom grinnned when she saw it and, yes, turned to her lad and said “Never be afraid of colour.” He was 3 weeks old; one can never be too young to learn we figure.
Keep spikin’ that hair! You’ve got me inspired.
Oh my gosh, Kelly, this has to be one of my favourite posts written by you. She is such a character and the kind of person I aspire becoming when I’m older (knowing full well that I won’t. I’m whiny and not fun). I see where you get a lot of your personality traits. I so love how you described her revelation and the careful planning and motherly love and concern behind it. I SO love the purple pants! This was such a lovely and humorous and touching and loving description it made my day!
Wow. So nice to hear! Thank you so much for your kind words Katia.She is a gem.Just called her and she’s coming for dinner with my brother and his wife tonight. Wonder what colour pants she’ll wear? I’ll keep ya posted.
I really hope your mom will consider adopting me. She is absolutely adorable and spunky. If adoption is out of the running, AT LEAST I want to sit next to her on a plane. I need her philosophy to rub off on me. She is so charming and full of life. (and now I know where you get those qualities, too!!)
I LOVE this post so much!! –Lisa
Thank you so much Lisa. Mom would absolutely adore you and your never ending support. I shall get those adoption papers in order. As to sitting next to her on a plane well just make sure you don’t have the slightest hint of a cold. And of course don’t even think about wearing perfume.”I have a very sensitive nose. Perfume makes me sneeze and of course a cold would be the death of me.”
Seriously, couldn’t stop laughing and I had an aunt that would have made a perfect friend for your mom. Seriously, my Aunt Lucy was so much fun to travel with and would have totally egged your mom on to buying those purple pants!! 🙂
Aunt Lucy! Even her name is perfect. I wish we could have gotten the girls together Janine. Imagine the adventures they would have gotten into.
Visiting from The Dose Girls. Glad to find you! It appears you and your dear mom may be Canadian, which may explain how you did not mention going through Canada customs in your story. You ladies got to sail through that Canadian citizens line I bet, while just last week I languished in the DisneyLand-esqe line for non-Canadians at YVR. That sucker was an hour long mass of humanity! I would have appreciated talking to someone like your mom/mum while waiting. 🙂
Hi Katy. Thanks for popping over from the wonder of The Dose Girls (I’m a huge fan) and leaving such a clever comment. Seriously – there’s a new job idea for my mom/mum! She could stand in the Disneyland-esque lineup and chitty chat with the folks as they waited. She’d love it. She’ll talk to anyone anytime. Might have to put a hold on the standing though – we could put her in one of those airline carts. Perfect. Yes we are Canadian and do apologise (we’re always saying sorry up here) for your hour long wait. Yikes.
Oh I hope she finds some purple pants! I half expected her to be wearing them in the airport photo, lol.
You don’t need me to tell you how lucky you are – but wow! How lucky you are to have her still healthy and traveling and engaging with you. She’s making great memories you will have for the rest of your life!
PS – The Dose Girls sent me
Welcome Stephanie. Thanks so much for popping over from The Dose Girls. Are they not just the best? Have to report that Mom is still on the hunt for those pants. The problem lies not in the colour but in the size. Lots of size 4’s about that she adores but surprise, surprise, she’s no longer a 4. Who is? And yes, you’re so right on the lucky front. We are so blessed to have her.
Your Mom sounds like quite a character! How wonderful that you still have her. I lost my Mom when she was in her 70s; now I’m the one in my 70s, come August.
Hi Eva. Thanks for dropping by! Yes, it is wonderful to have Mom with us at 91. Sometimes I can’t believe it though and find myself thinking how do I have a mom in her 90’s? Surely just last month her mom was celebrating her 80th. Wow time flies by, no? Can you believe that you’re soon to be 70?
My mother isn’t really the shocking type! Your mother sounds awesome. I don’t even have that much spunk now!
Exactly Alexa. I don’t have her spunk either. She often packs more into her day than I do. “I don’t understand why I’m so tired Kelly.” Well Mom perhaps it’s because you did 8 things today? As she admits readily her energy flags at 4:00 and she often goes to bed early. But come dawn she’s raring to go again. Remarkable.
I hope that one day I’m just like your mom – I need to do a better job about living life to the fullest now so by the time I’m 91 I will have it down!!!
Me too Kim! Even with her as a role model I need to work harder at it!
Your mom sounds like a hoot! My mom is 71 and she cracks me up when she tells me it’s her day to “take the old ladies to the grocery store!” They are only 10 years older than her, but the way she says it always makes me laugh!
Oh that is such a hoot that your mom calls them the old ladies! Love that.
Your mom sounds awesome! I want to be her at that age!
Yes – me too Kristina! Me too!
What a fun read…your mom sounds like a real character. I love how she told you in the air, so you couldn’t talk her out of it! 🙂 What good is life though, if you can’t enjoy it. She’s got the right attitude!
She does have an amazing attitude. To this day she denies that she was trying to bamboozle me and that she truly thought I knew she wasn’t supposed to fly. Hmmm…..
OMG! I heart you mom! WHat an inspiration and we should all be living life to the fullest! She has it figured out! Go mom!
Exactly. Yes GO Mom indeed!
Hi there! After reading the first couple sentences over at the Dose Girls, I had to come over to read more. Your mother cracks me up in this story. It’s natural to fuss over our parents, but then again I hope to be as carefree if I get to be her age. I would say to enjoy every minute you get with her, but it sounds like it would be hard not to!
Lovely to meet you! Thanks for finding your way over. As for my mother – oh Leslie you have no idea. Spent last night with her at a fundraiser dinner. She couldn’t eat a thing (allergic to shellfish and can no longer do spicy) until the dessert arrived. Man alive – she savoured that cheesecake. Such a good sport about the whole thing as she waved off plate after plate.
I still pull off shockingly red pants but not as well as I did in my 20’s. They’re low rise, you see.
My grandmother is 99 and she sounds a lot like your mother. Except she can’t hear or see very well!
99? Wow. Showed your comment to my mom and she just grinned and grinnned. Said she’d love to meet her! Mom’s vision is fine but her hearing is compromised too. We have quite the hilarious conversations … Here’s hoping your grandmother makes it well into her 100s!
Your mom sounds hilarious. I had a great aunt that was just as spunky. She could out shop anyone! Never wore the shockingly purple pants though…
Yes, mom is quite something. I’m delighted to learn your great aunt was just as spunky. Aren’t these women just gems?
May she have many many more years of living that life to the fullest! She sounds like such a hoot!
Oh why thank you. I’ll pass on your very kind wishes. And yes. She is indeed a real hoot!
Oh this is AMAZING and HILARIOUS all at the same time!! God bless your MOTHER!! I want to hang with that girl! She’s knows KNOWS how to live!! You are one lucky lucky daughter… 🙂
So glad the Dose girls sent us all over!!
Hi Chris! Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment. Don’t you absolutely love the Dose girls? I have to say that I am lucky – Mom is one of a kind. This past Thursday she organized a potluck in her apartment building and 50 people showed up with various mouthwatering dishes. Thankfully there is a party room and they had access to the garden/pool area so everyone could mingle and spread out. Now they want her to do it once a month. She has more energy than I do! Come on over and hang anytime. She’d love it!
I enjoyed this Kelly. My father is the one who has evolved so much in my lifetime. I suppose I’ll always be shocked by him. He’s pretty conservative though. I suppose that won’t change. I won’t have to worry about him wearing anything flashy.
Thanks so much for clicking on and reading Kenya. Truly. Love that your dad has evolved also. We are blessed aren’t we?