Now for a wee share of something you most assuredly don’t know about me. I’m not fond of dress shoe shopping. No that’s far too mild. I loathe dress shoe shopping. But not for the reasons you might think.
I adore dress shoes.
If I could I’d own them by the dozens. It’s the act of selecting them for purchase that’s painful. Literally.
Why? Brace yourself. Ever since I was in grade ten I’ve had a bunion on my left foot. For the blessed amongst us who are unfamiliar with this delight I’ll offer up this light-hearted, uncringeworthy explanation of a bunion:
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a painful swelling on the first joint of the big toe
Now, you probably associate that affliction with aging. Your grandmother had bunions, right? If she did, I am sorry. So did mine. She had them on both feet for as long as I can remember. Yup, the bunion issue runs in my family. My dear 92 year-old mom who happily treated my son and me to a drag show (and is the daughter of the aforementioned grandmother) also has one and so does my 32 year-old niece.
Rest assured. I shall not be showing you a photo of my foot, nor the feet of my relatives.
I will show you a photo of the nondress shoes I just had to replace.
See that rather horrific gaping hole on the outside of the left shoe? It’s a godsend. It allowed me to trek the 22 kilometer (13.6702 miles for my American pals) of Whistler Mountain’s Singing Pass Trail this summer in absolute comfort (the toes on my left foot could splay out unhindered), much to the astonished amazement of my fellow hikers.
Sadly, it finally was time to replace them so I got another pair a few weeks ago. It’s anyone’s guess how long before that hole reappears.
Ok enough visuals. I’ll just say having a bunion equipped foot means that finding a dress shoe that’s both comfy and attractive is painfully difficult.
As I mentioned in my last post, a good friend of mine recently passed away after a three-month illness. In true LLB fashion, she requested that folks attending her memorial wear colourful, cheerful clothes. The dress I chose required new shoes. And no, the new runners wouldn’t cut it.
Lessons Learned Shoe Shopping
With recent dress shoe shopping excursions being less of a success (from poor shoe selection for the “mature” foot to gum chomping indifferent staff) I decided to start the excruciating hunt at the iconic shoe store Ingledews Shoes which is celebrating its 100 hundred year anniversary this year! I can remember shopping there when I was six or seven. My memories of the sales clerks were that they were always men, they always wore a suit and you could see your image reflected in their perfectly polished leather shoes.
And no, I’m not getting a dime for mentioning Ingledews Shoes in this post.
Painfully aware that heels higher than an inch are murder on my foot (the raised heel causes the bony protuberance to jam into the side of the shoe and the misaligned toes quickly scream out in agony) I regretfully sought out the lower heels and surprisingly found a potential candidate. With a sale on, the store was humming with customers.
The cheerful but busy lady sales clerk introduced me to her proxy. Young, well dressed with shiny shoes he listened carefully to my brief outline of the bunion situation.
He had me at “Oh I’ve seen far worse bunions, ma’am.”
And so my lessons learned shoe shopping commenced.
Dr. Bunion opened with these gems:
1. Ideally the bunion afflicted should look for a shoe with a wide toe box that covers the entire bunion.
2. Go for heels an inch or lower
3. Best option: Open toed slingbacks with an adjustable strap.
The truth hit. Up until today I’d harboured a fear that these beauts lay in my future.
Take heart! There’s hope!
Miraculously there are solutions to ignoring lessons one and three.
Allow me to introduce you to the bunion’s secret friends.
and
Apparently these gems have been around forever. Who knew? I’d never seen them before.
Their jobs?
1. Manufacture the comfort of a well-worn bunion abused shoe.
This was achieved with Exhibit A – the metal bunion stretcher ball and ring. Clamped together on the afflicted side of the shoe (between a protective cloth) this puppy worked wonders. The ball pushed through the ring, leaving an authentic and reassuring bump on the outside surface.
2. Reinforce the comfort of a well-worn bunion abused shoe
This was achieved with Exhibit B – the wooden shoe stretcher. After spraying the pertinent area with water the stretcher was placed inside the shoe and with the turning of the large metal hook the two sides opened, allowing the toe box to stretch nice and wide. Note the metal “nipple” bump; its job is to imitate your bunion. To ensure this widening effort is a lingering success one must leave the shoes overnight and return for them the next day.
As I returned for my shoes Dr. Bunion offered up the final lesson.
“Never just wear them for the intended event. Wear them around the house to the point that you feel pain. Take ’em off and repeat tomorrow.”
My takeaway from these lessons learned shoe shopping? NEVER buy dress shoes the day before.
And always consult with the Store Manager at Ingledews in Park Royal. Mr. Chris Dybkar.
Thank you Chris.
This post was inspired by the Finish The Sentence Friday prompt of “The Chore I Hate Doing The Most Is …”As always, our host is the lovely Kristi. Today’s guest hosts are Michelle of Crumpets and Bollocks and Kirstenjill of Ripped Jeans and Bifocals
And the shoes I purchased? Wearing them right now. Fingers crossed; still wearable.
Enough about me and my lessons learned shoe shopping. I’m curious about you. Are you bunion afflicted? Yeah? What shoes can you wear? Did you know about the stretchers? Got perfect feet? Damn you. Have you any idea how blessed you are? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
53 Responses
I thought exhibit a was some kind of instrument to remove the bunion!! I have really sensitive feet and it takes me months to break in a pair of shoes – husband jokes I have ‘princess feet’ . Most if my shoes have hardly been worn -it’s a standing joke amongst my friends. I love my wellies in winter and birkies in summer ,
I don’t know who has perfect feet (whoever they are I hate you). I’m a size 10 which usually means that me and all the other 8 bazillion people wearing a size 10 are fighting over the only size 10 pair that’s ordered. Wear an 8? They ordered 52,000 pairs. A 9? 52,00 pairs. But some stores still only get 1 size 10 a week and you have to roll the dice and pray to the shoe Gods that it’s your lucky day.
Three cheers for a great shoe store. Now that’s service!
i used to love shopping for shoes and all sorts of heels. After having kids, giving me flat shoes or even barefoot and I’d be happy. But still my mom had a bunion and at this point I have escaped them, but always been worried that I would get one. So thank you for at least sharing about how to go about buying shoes if this does happen to be my fate, too!
Ut oh. I have in my possession one new sensible pair of shoes bought today for tomorrow. I was so desperate to find them that I only tried on one shoe – the bunion foot. My husband and I have a photography event to shoot tomorrow. I’ll have on my sneakers until we get our equipment situated then I’ll put on the new presentable shoes. I hope they work out. I hated to buy a shoe after trying them on and saying, “Not bad.” But I just couldn’t go with the super comfy one that I said, “These are hideous.” Three weeks ago I had on what I thought were my most comfy and I ended up standing more than I had expected to. I was trying hard not to limp at the end of the night. And us folks with bunions know that your foots screams long after you finally get to take your shoes off.
Nooooooo — good luck with the shoes Kenya. I shall be thinking of you as I sport my pinchy pair. I’m changing into flats for the evening. Don’t think I can manage more than an hour or two in these puppies even with the stretching. And Yes! Grinning here over your “these are hideous” vs “not bad” comments. That is SO true.
Did I mention that my feet swell too. Ugh. Leaving in a few and just looked down at my feet and said I look like an old lady. The not too bad shoes aren’t very attractive.
I have a really hard time buying dress shoes as well. 1. my toes are ugly. Seriously ugly so open toe isn’t awesome. 2. I have a bunion (or something) on my big toe left foot. It hurts. 3. I have a pinched nerve and can’t wear pointy-toes. 4. I have flat feet. 5. I’m lazy so all shoes bug me after a while.
Awesome post and I need to buy those weird looking torture devices that stretch shoes! So cool!
Oh man Kristi you’ve been dealt an interesting hand footwise. I sympathise. Ouch. And yes do go out now and purchase the torture devices. They work wonders.
Hey! I think those are the same as my sneaks! (goes to look…) Almost exactly the same – slight difference. But oh yes they are very comfortable. Very. So much that I am not looking forward to replacing them which I will need to do probably by summer.
Anyway.
I though the tool was a thing to take OFF the bunion. Definitely . Glad to know it’s not.
I also hate shopping for dress shoes. I wear pants an awful lot so I frequently default to a shoe-boot and skip the whole problem. I have a terribly high instep, a wide ball of the foot (side to side), and ridiculously skinny ankles. Finding shoes that fit all of those parts? Nigh unto impossible. Sneakers, boots, flip flips have become my favorites.
Shoe shopping would definitely go on the hate to shop for it list – right up there with bras.
Too funny that your shoes are similar to mine! So comfy, eh? Laughed out loud that you thought the tool was to take OFF the bunion. Oh man – I wish. Surgery is an option but it involves major grinding or slicing or something horrific and you have to be off your feet for weeks. And then – oh joy of joys – the damn thing can grow back? How unfair is that?
A very helpful list! I was a bit horrified-squeamish, though, when looking at the picture of Exhibit A. It wasn’t immediately clear to me whether the Bunion Stretcher tool was supposed to stretch the shoe — or do something kinda nasty to your foot. Like actually stretching the bunion. Which I’d imagine would be really, really painful.
But it’s for the shoe, right?
Right?
Please let it be for the shoe!!! 😉
Hahahahaha! Thanks for the grin – needed it today. Yes, it’s for the shoe. The surgery to remove the delight of the bunion involves impossible concepts such as drilling and slicing and such … no thank you. And an added bonus? They can grow back.
Ouch! My feet hurt reading this, Kelly. I’m so sorry! I used to love anything with a heel until recently… and now all I want to wear are flip flops, whatever the occasion.
Oh how I love flip flops too. Have the memorial for my pal today and I have to endure the stretched yet still a weensy bit pinchy dress numbers. I’m slapping on the dressy sandals for the evening do though. Can only put up with so much torture.
Thinking of you today. Sending love and strength xxx
Nicki – that is just so very kind. Thank you. The memorial was special. I think LLB would have been very happy. Her husband and daughter asked me to stand on guard to carry on with their speeches if they couldn’t but neither needed me.They were brilliant. Strong and confident.
I don’t have a bunion, but I’ve been afflicted many times with plantar fasciitis. Foot pain is a pain :)! I’m pretty limited on what kinds of shoes I can wear too, or else I just set myself up for problems. I’ve never heard of the stretchers! What luck that you found the very knowledgeable store manager. Have a great weekend!
You always have such lovely shoe pics on your blog Lana! I would never have guessed you have foot issues too. While I’ve thankfully never had plantar fascitis, friends have and they reported huge pain. I do hope it doesn’t revisit you. Thankyou – and have a great weekend yourself.
No bunions here, just very hard to fit feet. And, yes, I hate shoe shopping.
Oh you are blessed to be unbunion afflicted. Love how I manage to create new words here. However, I can relate to the hard to fit feet. You almost want to buy several pairs when you finally find one that you like and that is comfortable don’t you?
Noooo….those bunion stretching devices look like medieval torture tools! I am a huge shoe ho. I am sick today and my plan of getting out by myself, getting my hair did and browsing through the shoe department at Dillards went in the toilet. Sigh.
Oh I am sorry. Do hope you’re on the mend soon. Nothing like escaping on your own for a hair bouffant and shoe shop. Such a tonic I find.
Running shoes, cowboy boots and flip flops – if I can’t make one of those types of shoes work than it’s a no-go:) Actually I’m pretty fortunate the only time I have major issues with my feet are when I have stress fractures in them.
That take-away lesson made me laugh – when I do need dressy shoes I almost always buy them right before the event – otherwise how would I know what outfit I was wearing?!
“How would I know what outfit I was wearing?” – classic. Love it.
No bunions here, but I did know about the stretchers. My dad has a very wide foot, so he used them to stretch shoes out.
I’m all about comfortable shoes, but I will not sacrifice fashion in a dress shoe. I’m usually hobbling by the end of the night, but I look good.
Oh Dana – that was me. On Saturday. I wore the damn, I mean darling, shoes to the memorial as planned. Had to stand a fair bit. My feet? Numb. Beyond painful. Went home and slipped into sandals for the rest of the night. However – the pain made me not cry when I gave my tribute at the memorial so that’s a good thing, right?
Oh those look like tools of torture!!! It was kind of scary.
My mom actually had bunion surgery to alleviate some of the pain and issues – have you ever considered it? I am not sure I would do it because I am what we call a “wimp”….
I’m curious about her surgery Allison. Did it last? Some folks have said to me that the dreaded bunions can come back. I’d love to hear a success story.
Hahahah, that’s true! They look exactly like medieval torture tools, oh my! 😀
Don’t they? I simply had to get photos.
Please don’t hate me, but I can usually walk into a shoe store and easily find comfy shoes ! However, as I get older, I find very flat shoes not comfortable and tend to gravitate towards wedges. Those 2 appliances looked like torture devices out of a previous century. Hope you get much comfort out of your new shoes !!
What? You can just walk in and choose a comfy pair? Just like that? Surely not. Smiling here over the “… torture devices out of a previous century.” And the shoes? I am sad to announce they left my feet feeling as if they been treated to torture devices out of a previous century. Had to come home and slip on sandals between memorial and the do after. Soooooooo painful. But I did do a lot of standing previously. Think if I could have sat more – things would have been better …
I have to admit those shoe stretchers look a little bit like torture devices! I never knew such a thing existed, though that would be the logical thing I’m sure. I dislike shoe shopping for other reasons – I find it such a mundane task. But my feet are so far pretty a-okay 🙂
Oh you are blessed to have a-okay feet Melissa. I truly hope they stay that way. And yes – when I first cast my eyes on those shoe stretchers I was also thinking torture devices!
Oooooh and ouch, Kelly. But oh my wow toes. Or something like that. I had no idea that there are tools to help people with bunions. I don’t have them (soooo grateful) but I have a friend (now two, for sure) that do and I’m glad for comfortable shoes. But here is where we align, Kel: my tennis shoes look like yours and I don’t have bunions. They have a few small holes. So do my favorite jeans, which fortunately is now trendy. But I’d wear them anyways.
Ah yes, the famous bunions. Generations of them around here and I’m no exception. My daughter 26 years old has a bunion much worse than mine. My mother’s poor feet are horrible she can barely get any shoes to fit her let alone walk bare feet. You are reminding me an upcoming wedding I have to attend in May which will require shoe shopping. I think back to my younger days and wonder how did I wear 3-4″ high heels. That certainly didn’t help things I’m sure. Thanks for the great post.
Oh Suzanne I feel for you. Ouch. Best of luck finding shoes for that May wedding. I’ve got one in July that will require new shoes as well. And yes, I can’t believe I used to run about with 3 – 4″ heels. Back then – I thought I always would. Ha!
I know several people with bunions, but I don’t happen to have one. It sounds difficult. I was looking online and it seems that there is surgery for this but it would require months of recovery with some limited mobility. Have you considered that? Seems like one dose of recovery might be worth it!
I have heard of the surgery Amy. I’m not there yet but maybe one day.
Sorry to hear about the lineage of bunion bearing. Let me practice my burgeoning Minnesota vocabulary, and say offta. 🙂
But now that you’ve discovered those incredible shoe fixing tools (that indeed look like they come from some medieval torture chamber!) I expect to hear you’ve become quite the fancy shoe aficionado. Can we be expecting “tales from a fancy foot adornment fashionista” series soon?
Ooohhh now wouldn’t that be quite the series, Deborah! I like the sound of that.
Dear Jesus – thank you for making me a boy, for which there are many options for comfortable dress shoes. Amen.
E X A C T L Y. You are truly blessed.
Perfect? Who has perfect anything? One of my first jobs was in a shoe store, I thought I was in heaven, always got first pick and all the super buys. That initiated my love of shoes. But as I’ve gotten older my choices have become much more practical, although I sort of drool over those 4 inch heels!
Great story, thanks for sharing.
You sold shoes? Oh now that really must have been a fun job, Sue! Especially with young, healthy feet! I was out to lunch with my mom yesterday and she commented that the waiter looked as if his feet were sore. Poor guy – that’s be tough if true. Well, any job would be tough with sore feet, no?
Kelly, you and I truly are kindred spirits! I have endured bunion surgery on each of my faulty feet.
My sister did, too. We went on vacation while each recuperating from surgery with casts up to our knees, mine on the right, her’s on the left. We enjoyed the use of the motorized scooters in the grocery store and drew lots of attention as we hobbled around on our crutches. When people stopped to ask us about our casts, my beloved and wickedly funny sister would say that we were conjoined twins, attached at the foot, who had finally gotten up the courage for the separation surgery. Ahhhh… great memory!
I will take your excellent tips with me on my next excursion!
Oh you made me smile,Mo. How incredible, yet so Mo, that you had surgery at the same time for the same thing. So,many folks are telling me that the bunions often grow back. Did yours?
Oh Kelly! When I first scrolled down your page — before reading, I scrolled down on an odd impulse, no other reason — I saw those bunion clamps and cringed involuntarily. Would these be some primitive dental pliers? The thought still makes me shudder, even though I know better now.
Where I live, Keen Shoes and Birkenstocks count as dressy. So I don’t even own a pair of dress shoes anymore. Heaven forbid I should be required to dress up like “real people” do. If, by some freak social occurrence, I had to do it, I’d probably wear a beautiful dress, a hand-made merino wool and silk shawl, and rainbow-striped rainboots.
If you can’t look normal, look ridiculous.
Rainbow stripes rainboots? Where can I get me a pair? Love the sound of those! I wear the gumboots my son sported to horse camp when he was 12. They are in dire need of replacing as the tread is shot. And yes – if you can’t look normal, look ridiculous. You and I will get along just fine!
Sorry about your bunion Kelly! That is one problem I have escaped, but heel spurs and ankle arthritis have made good shoes a must for me. I’m hard on shoes and strangely enough, my feet have grown with age – used to be a 6.5 and now I’m an 8.5! I would love to find a shoe store with the help that you describe …so many times I get a pair home only to learn how uncomfortable they really are!
Sorry to be so late with this comment. We have been traveling, and I just can’t write legible comments on my phone … my eyes are just as old as my feet!
Ok so what’s with your feet growing? Hmmm. Maybe there’s hope for my height.
Ooooohhh, when I saw exhibit A, it kind of scared me.
I have this wooden back scratcher that a friend of mine uses when he comes to visit in order to put his shoes back on before leaving. (in Minnesota most people remove shoes when we visit someone else’s house.) Funny how there are so many different sorts of ‘shoe helpers’ out there.
“Shoe helpers.” Lovely term. And we take shoes off when entering someone’s home here in BC as well. I’d love one of those wooden back scratcher jobbies. Sound like just the ticket for the job.