Oh Dad. Had I only known then what I know now I’d have eagerly accepted your premise that father knows best. Especially when it comes to teaching teenagers to drive.
I tend to write about my spunky 91-year-old mom a fair bit. But what about my dad? Well I’m sad to say he passed away over 8 years ago. However he pops into my head at least once every day. A shy, quiet and much-loved pediatrician he was also the best listener I’ve yet to meet. He also inherited a stubborn impatient streak from his father. Nothing brought that to the surface quicker than foolish behaviour; particularly that of his own children. However, when we did something foolish by accident he couldn’t have been kinder.
Case in point? The time he was teaching me to drive and I shot over an embankment and rolled our Volkswagen beetle. Yes. That time.
Father Knows Best
It’s a quiet chilly Sunday morning in February. I’m 16 and growing ever more frustrated with my exhausted, overworked dad. He’s insisting we unpack the grocery bags at home before resuming my driving lesson. All I want to do is practice. Most of my friends already have their licenses and it’s becoming increasingly more awkward for me that I don’t. Why can’t I just drive with the damn food in the car?
“Something could happen if you’re at the wheel Kelly and we’ll have oranges and apples all over the car.”
Yeah. Right.
We finally finish putting away every bloody piece of fruit and crisply folding and storing each god damn brown paper bag. I scramble outside to park myself behind the wheel.
“Head down to the beach near Nanny and Grandad’s. We’ll work on your clutch work.”
Clutch work. Yuck. I hate that. He always makes me creep up to stop signs on the steepest hills. My feet battle the pedals in that horrid dance required to prevent the car from rolling backwards. Why can’t we have an automatic car like every other normal family?
Intersections bring out the worst in him.
“INCH. Kelly. INCH.”
I’m to throw caution to the wind and advance through the intersection. But what about that looming bus?
“It’s miles off. Are you in first? No! What have I told you about starting in first? Start in anything but first and you’ll stall. Now engage the clutch, put the gear in first and INCH!”
Jesus. By the time we finally get down to the beach a good fifteen minutes later he’s all but apoplectic. I’m feeling less than charitable. Perhaps his self-induced 80 hour work week is catching up with him? Of course the silly man directs me up Stimpson Street the steepest of the steepest hills that is also a mere block from my grandparents. It gets dicey when I turn off of it down onto Blanshard. I don’t want to do this. The last time I did this manoeuver he got crosser than cross when I went too close to the edge.
Deep breaths. You can do this Kelly. As we crest the hill I slowly turn the wheel to the right. There’s a tricky bit where for a few seconds the camber angle of the downhill on Blanshard makes it impossible to see the road. There’s a slight crunch under the tires as I straighten out.
“Correct! Correct! You’re too close to the edge. What did I tell you about getting too close to the edge?”
My clammy palms sloppily grip the wheel and I jerk it to the right. Perhaps a bit too much? Yes. The car picks up speed as we rattle along the gravel lined shoulder.
“BRAKE!”
My right foot slithers over the pedals and I push down. Hard. Rather than skid to a stop we accelerate. The tires start to skid on the slippery shoulder and the wheel takes on a mind of its own. The back end of our cobalt blue bug shoots to the left and the front slams to the right. We’re airborne. Over the grassy lined embankment we soar. Time grinds to the slowest of slow. The nose dives down and the rear follows. Over we tumble and manage a complete 180 degree flip. We finally come to rest upside down on someone’s front lawn, a good ten feet from the unforgiving shoulder that now looms above us.
It’s difficult to hear my father over the spinning of the four tires and the roaring engine but I manage to make out his simple suggestion that we exit. After undoing my seatbelt and grabbing for the window handle I roll it down and ooze out of the car. He joins me in the same fashion to stand beside our crumpled car. There’s no mention of a head-to-toe first-aid body check. Somehow we both know we’re intact.
“Guess we’d better turn her off.” He observes with a distinct lack of malice. It’s a plain fact. Almost as if he’s commenting on the weather.
I slide back in and shut it down. The silence is sobering. How do we get home? Whom do we call? How do we call? My brain is suddenly somewhat slower. My father’s is not.
“Ok. We need to call Mom and a tow truck. We’ll do it from Nanny and Grandad’s. However, I don’t want to alarm them so say nothing about this. Nothing.”
We’ve ruined the car, destroyed someone’s lawn and possibly nearly died and I’m to say nothing?
My beaming grandmother opens the door to our knock just five minutes later.
“Basil! It’s Geoff and Kelly! What a pleasant surprise. Do come in. Can I get you some tea and perhaps some chocolate biscuits?”
My now sheet white father gently guides me through the doorway. As he sidles for the phone I hear his quiet reply. “Gin. Make it a double.”
Thank you Dad. Thank you for not shouting at me or losing your temper about this accident or ever allowing anyone to criticize me or my driving. Ever. Thank you for also insisting that I learn to drive standard. It came in handy more than once when I was driving in New Zealand. And yes. Thank you for insisting that we unpack those groceries first.
I’m happy to say that an unexpected bonus of a wonderful relationship with another person came about because of the rollover. But you’ll have to wait until next time to hear about that and how it relates to my wedding day! Right now, I’m curious about you. Are you like me? Have you ever rolled a vehicle? Or have you ever escaped from harm by the skin of your teeth? Better yet is your driving record shockingly unblemished and your life pleasantly pristine? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
36 Responses
OH, this made me laugh and cringe just a bit because I have rolled a car (or 2) and it is scary!!!
Your dad sounds like a great guy!!! I like how he was yelling instructions the entire time and then after the flip, he was calm!!!
And, I never learned to drive a clutch – too old now but there were times that I really wish I knew how to do it.
You’ve rolled a couple in your day as well? Oooh “rolled a couple” sounded interesting. Did it seem like slow motion for you? That’s pretty much all I remember about the rolling part. Well that and thinking “Noooooooooooooooooo…”
The first one I don’t even remember. The 2nd one was scary – I had one of those cars that the top part of the belt slid into you when you started the car but you were still supposed to fasten the lap belt (I never did!!). Umm…that shoulder strap did nothing to keep me in my set – I’m lucky I didn’t break my neck hitting it on the roof on the first round!
Ouch.
OMG KELLY! You continue to impress with the “it could only happen to you” stories. Wow. So I haven’t rolled a car but I got A LOT of speeding tickets when I was younger and managed to hit a pole in the orthodontist office parking lot the first day I drove the crappy “new” car my dad got for my brother and me. And that same week, had a fender bender with another car on the highway. It was raining so obviously not my fault.
Your dad sounds amazing! And wonderful. I’m sure you miss him and that he’s up there laughing and shaking his head right now happy for gin. A double!
Oh Kristi you’ve no idea. He is up there ordering that gin. A double! Yes, I just remembered the time I crunched the car in the parking lot late at night and tried to hide the fact from my sister … However – you excelled with the fact that you did it on the first day you ever drove said crappy new car. Ouch. AND the same week you had another fender bender? Oh MY. Bet you were the popular girl that week…
My Dad’s driving instruction was a bit more laid back, and we mostly did it on the dirt roads back of the highway. My father was more the terse type, and of course I learned stick, because that’s what we had.
Now, the official driving instructor was a different matter, but that’s another story.
Yes- I understand driving with the official guys can be quite something as well!
As a matter of fact, I too have rolled a vehicle. It was a Volkswagen also, but mine was a bus. It was on a perfectly straight highway in South Carolina, heading home to CA from VA where Doug and I lived for two years while he was in school. It was a back road and come to find out, the locals liked to play chicken. I was following Doug, driving a bus we had bought in VA while he drove our original one. So, I didn’t see the car coming straight at us on our side of the road and when Doug veered over, I only knew that there was a car headed right at me. Rolled my bus down an embankment, through a creek and back up on its feet. The best part? I got to go to the hospital in an old Cadillac hearse because the local undertaker was also the ambulance. My only memory of the day is of thick gray curtains waving around above me. Little did we know that was only the beginning of adventures before we finally reached CA.
OH Linda thank you so much for sharing this! I am smiling here over the thick gray curtains comment. Man alive you were lucky though. Your rolled it through a creek and it ended up on its feet? The angels were with you on that day. Did the locals keep driving right on by?
Learned to drive on a 69 VW bug and my father always made me start in 2nd or 3rd. He thought it was good for me to learn to have that subtle a touch… My sister totaled that car on a bridge, which was replaced with another 69 bug, which I happily never did anything more than jump with a hanger that I’d lay across the battery. every. time. I started. it. Every time. Ack. So glad to now have my pimped out automatic minivan, no matter how much garbage my kids have ground into the carpets! And so glad you lived to tell the tale. Thanks for reminding me of my Dad.
Thank you for sharing that Jennifer! I can so relate and wish our dads could have debated the merits of the different gears! I think ours was a 69 too! That hanger comment had me smiling. When I was rooming with a girlfriend I was driving an old Datsun. On rainy days it took 20 minutes for it to start. I’d be out in the car turning the key and turning the key and turning the key. Did I mention turning the key? My pal would be inside doing her hair, brushing her teeth and then without fail come out just as the car roared to life.
Oh Kelly, I am still laughing about this one ! I can relate, as I also learned to drive on a standard. My dear Dad was not allowed to teach me, as he had a company car, that was not allowed to be driven by anyone else. My brother , who was a bus driver at the time, taught me. I must say , he was very patient. I didn’t roll the car, but I did my share of rolling back on hills, once with a bus right behind me. I kept stalling, and finally begged my brother to take over the wheel for me. I felt sorry for my eldest daughter who had to learn to drive on a standard and we live on a very high hill !
Yes! That rolling back was horrid, no? You were so lucky to be taught by your patient brother. He must have recovered from your oven fire!
I know your hill that you’re speaking of. Oh I can only imagine the trouble I’d have gotten into if I was learning on it. Especially if I had to back out. Can you imagine?
Happy to say I’ve never rolled a car yet – but never say never! I did have an unfortunate incident on a steep hill on the Snake Pass between Sheffield and Manchester. There were roadworks on a steep part of the pass. I was at the front of the queue. The traffic lights turned green and I couldn’t do the hill start. They turned back to red and then green again. Still I couldn’t work the clutch. The queue behind was growing impatient and I vividly recall a line of decorated wedding cards behind me. The lights turned back to red and by this time I was in tears and got out of the car and demanded that my dad continued the journey. I avoided traffic lights on steep hills for years – trust me, I had some long diversions!!!
Oh my my my and yes this is indeed something else I would have done. But the fact that there was a row of wedding cars behind you well that is just the icing on the cake. Oh man!
ooops “cars” not “cards”!!
Yup! Although wedding cards works too!
I have, thankfully!, never rolled a car…had a few minor accidents but nothing too exciting. Each of my children were involved in car accidents on their very first solo outing as a new driver. Neither of the accidents were the fault of the new drivers but surely rattled their nerves and the nerves of the parents!
How on earth is that possible. Your poor children! Accidents first time out? Man oh man Mo.
O…M…Geeeeeeee! It is a miracle neither of you were hurt!! UNBELIEVABLE! How this will play into your wedding day, I have no idea, but I can’t wait to find out! I have never rolled a car, but I’ve been in a bad crash (as a passenger). I think it’s cool how your dad was never cross about things that were true accidents. I don’t always manage that with my kids (which is awful because they are not on purpose!!) My dad made sure I knew how to drive a stick shift, too. I’ve been plenty glad about that on more than one occasion! (and the first car I ever bought with my own money was a stick, so it came in handy for years then, too!!) –Lisa
I don’t always manage it either Lisa. My patience has been known to run pretty thin at times! Both my kids are learning to drive on an automatic. Somewhere in the mix we’ll have to introduce them to stick shift. Oh there’ll be a wealth of stories there I’m thinking.
Wow. Great story. The worse I’ve done is rollerblade down a hill on my very first time rollerblading and broke my leg. Pretty bad. Love your story, though!
What? You broke your leg the very first time you went rollerblading? Man alive. That is quite a story! My nephew broke his wrist while going on one of those scooter jobbies a few years back. It was his first time as well. But a leg? Ouch.
Par for the course Kelly, you’ve managed to remind me of an incident in my life…that did not turn out well, but there was humor in it after all. 🙂 I however, was not driving the night I happened to be in a vehicle that did a couple of turns around and around on its side coming to a rest in a pond after leaving the pavement. Thankfully, not a deep pond that year. Even though the car did not survive, we did. My head however, had a huge bump to my forehead after I used it to crack the windshield. The other lone survivor was the 8 track player. Playing none other than Led Zepplin’s stairway to heaven. 🙂 We were about to be heading that direction when my girlfriends sister, the owner of the car, and her mother, found out what my girlfriend did, and I would be included in the punishment just because. 🙂 To this day, when I hear that song I think of that night. 🙂 Good to hear you were not hurt 🙂
Boy were the angels on your side that night Kelli. I’d say the Stairway to Heaven was lined on both sides with ’em.
AWESOME STORY!!! I had my fair share of accidents and runs in with the police as a young driver – luckily nothing serious ever happened and my mom and dad (although were upset) were very very VERY patient with me. One of the scariest times was when I was driving with friends and somehow ended up on the curb and came inches away from rolling my vehicle down a set of cement stairs. This was while living in Japan on top of it!
No no no I can only imagine what that must have been like Rebecca. And in Japan. Oh my. I’ve been there and do love it. You must have some wonderful stories about living there.
Aw, your dad’s the best! Sorry, I never rolled a car but I did rear-end someone once. I got the large 3 year insurance premium increase to prove it!
Oh Kelly, I laughed so hard and remembered when my late ex-father-in-law rolled the old Beetle on Galiano Island. Well, I can laugh now, but we came close to rolling over a cliff into the ocean. I was visiting my ex-in-laws at their summer cottage with a friend, who insisted she go home with a fresh salmon. As we had not caught one ourselves, my ex-father-in-law suggested we go to the northern tip of Galiano to get a fresh one of the fishing boats. And he would drive! Long story short, when he rolled the car 360 degrees, I was literally thrown from the back seat into the “boot” of the car. That little old Beetle was built before seat belts. I remembered after the three of us crawled out of the car how fortunate we were that we didn’t send it off the cliff with our movements. The front of the car was on the road and the back end was hanging over the cliff. How we got the car back on the road, I don’t recall. I remembered that when we got back to the cottage, the first thing we asked for was a scotch – neat! And it was only 11 in the morning. And for the salmon? We never got one.
Anne Marie this is just so funny and so scary all at the same time! Thank you for sharing. Man alive were you ever lucky though. Teetering over a cliff? The angels were with you that day! Hope she came back for a return visit and her salmon…
Oh my goodness what a scare! Your dad sounds like my dad who we lost 7 years ago. He and I were very close too. I hated having him teach me how to drive though as all he did was make me so nervous. I guess that is how a lot of children feel while parents are teaching them how to drive.
I’m so glad that nothing too too serious happened to you and your dad, and that you’re here to tell about it today.
Thank you Susan. We got off lightly. The car? Not so much however it was repairable which I still find remarkable. We were blessed to have such dads ‘eh? Bet you’re like me and treasure the memories.
I am dying! It reminds me of the time I ran over our mailbox. You know the one…it say upon a cast iron pipe filled with cement because the damn neighbor kids down the street kept knocking it down. 1. Clutches suck. 2. Better make sure you aren’t making a mailbox and pole indestructible if someone in your own family runs it over.
What? You ran over the indestructible mailbox and its pole? Your family must have dined out on that story for weeks! My brother still delights in telling his version of my rollover. And he wasn’t even there.