“How can we possibly say goodbye?” is the question I’ve been struggling with over the past few weeks.
I’m sorry to reveal that my best friend for over 45 years has passed away. It’s heartbreaking. She was my person. The one who was always there for me. Always. I don’t know how to say goodbye.
A true Canadian, she was the most selfless person I’ve ever known. This post alone would have her redirecting, asking me inciteful and thoughtful questions. Then she’d listen to my answers. Really listen.
In honor of her humble nature, I’ll keep her identity private. However, you should know she was the queen of adventure.
I know she’d not want me to say goodbye, but to keep her spirit and our friendship alive through further escapes. I just need to figure out how.
Feeling sad and confused, I was grateful for the opportunity to hang out with some quality Americans in the soul-enriching city of Santa Cruz, California last week.
I met these New Jersey and California writers around the dinner table at last year’s Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop in Dayton, Ohio. As some of you know, EBWW is held every other year. We were thrilled, when a few months back, Amber offered up her beach house as a mini Erma-off-year writers’ retreat. Hello. Several days of endless gourmet meals, sunshine, and writing? Yes, please. Everyone signed on with the exception of Allia, who’s off to a family wedding in Ireland.
Cruising In Santa Cruz
With six bedrooms and nearly 5000 square feet of living space, the house was more than adequate for our party of seven. The location couldn’t be more perfect. We swooned upon learning the picturesque Sunny Cove was just 500 hundred feet from the front door … what writing?
Okay, enough nitter natter. I’ll pause and let you just soak up some of the glory of Santa Cruz.
And yes, for those of you more interested in writing, we did indulge. Amber pitched us some original and inspiring topics. I came home feeling quite ready to tackle book number two … More on that in another post.
How Can We Possibly Say Goodbye?
I also came home with a clearer perspective. It’s still early days, but I realize I needn’t say goodbye in the sense of shutting a door and forgetting. I refuse to do that. She nudged me to live. To soar above in a hot air balloon, to gallop about on horseback, to scramble across wobbly, narrow boards high above the trees … Just thinking about these escapades makes me grin.
Okay, going forward, I’ll keep seeking out adventures like those that made us gasp with laughter and dance with joy. In the immortal words of our New Zealand jet boat guide, “One more time for the Canadians …”
And you, dear reader, I have great news about the my friend’s Santa Cruz home. It’s available to rent on VRBO.
24 Responses
Awww Kelly I am so sorry about the loss of your friend, that will leave a huge hole in your heart. I know you will remember her and honour your friendship beautifully. Can’t wait for your next book.
Thank you so much, Kim. It’s been hard, especially as she lived so far away. However, I feel very blessed to have seen her just two weeks before.
I’m sorry, Kelly. She sounds amazing (I mean, why wouldn’t she be amazing since she was your bestie?) and I wish you comfort and peace.
The ocean pictures are lovely, the meet-up sounds lovely, too, and I can’t wait to hear about Book #2.
Thank you, Katy. I really appreciate your comment.
Kelly, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. What a wonderful tribute to her, and may all of your shared adventures live on in your heart forever .
Santa Cruz looks amazing, what a perfect, timely get away !
As always, thanks for your kind words, Jane.
Sorry for your loss. Grief is hard to navigate.
Thank you, Kathy. It is.
Thank you for this Kelly , you knew the true essence of her. Our hearts maybe broken for our dear friend but I’m encouraged to carry on her kindness and her always listening ❤️ heart.
Aw, thanks for reading and leaving a comment, Moe. And yes, she’d wish for you to live on with those goals in mind.
I’m so sorry for your loss. What a gift to have her in your life for so long, and how devastating to lose her. Among Jews we say when we lose someone, “May her memory be a blessing.” And your friend most certainly was, is, and will continue to be a blessing for you, as her memory continues with you and inspires you. Sending you much love.
I love, “May her memory be a blessing.” Thank you, Susan. Your thoughtful comments are a great help.
Kelly, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s passing.
I’m glad the Santa Cruz retreat was healing for you (as it was for me). It makes our time together that much more special.
((Hugs))
Helene
Thank you, Helene. May we both continue to heal.
Ooh sweet Kelly. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Losing a best friend is like losing a limb. The finality of it is shocking and yet all of the memories will be with you for the rest of your days…..albeit many with a tear in your eye. She must have been something to be in a class of best friend. You were blessed with quite a few great women in your life. Maybe that’s the way to look at it…but ooh the pain of losing them is hard to bear. You are in my thoughts my girl.
Yes, it is indeed like losing a limb. And I was blessed with quite a few great women in my life. Still am. Your comments are proof of that. Thank you, Susan.
I lost a great friend from law school this past year . She died suddenly and the shock is still there. I’m meeting her husband for lunch in a few weeks….i feel I owe it to her to check in on him and her family. It will be bittersweet. I’m sort of dreading it, but I know it’s the right thing to do.
You are in my thoughts my girl. I’m so glad you got to see her so soon before she passed.
Oh, that will be a bittersweet lunch. Good on you for reaching out to him. She’d appreciate it so very much, I’m sure.
What an incredible and special friendship. Yes to keeping doors open and remembering!
She was one in a million. I shall keep the doors wide open. Thanks, Ash.
I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your best friend Kelly. It sounds like this was a very special friendship. I can’t imagine the grief you are going through. May you find moments of solace. Sending a gentle hug from afar. xx
Thank you so very much, Suzanne. I really appreciate you reaching out and sharing these kind words.
I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your very dear friend Kelly. May your wonderful memories bring you some comfort during this very difficult time.
Thinking of you my dear and sending you hugs. ❤️
Oh, how kind. Thank you, Sheila.