How Writing A Book Can Be A Little Bit Like Being Pregnant

How writing a book can be a little bit like being pregnant

If you’re new here, welcome, and if not, welcome back.

As I’ve mentioned of late, I’m finally publishing my book. It’s about how my type-A (ahem) mom and I survived working together for a decade at her popular Vancouver Asian antique store.

Finally? Yes, finally. You see, I announced my intentions of churning out a book in 2015. However, I didn’t start getting serious about writing the manuscript until 2019. The process over the past five years has been … interesting. My heart goes out to my friends and family who suffered alongside. Come on, guys, ‘fess up. I’ll bet there were times when you just wanted to grab me by the shoulders and holler:

“Just get the damn thing done, Kelly!”

You’re not alone.  Francine was the queen of,  “Just get the damn thing done, Kelly!”

Well, now that I have, I’d like to offer some tips to those of you living with a writer or who are friends with one. Are you a bit frustrated with them? Want to help but don’t know how? If so, I suggest you consider the task of writing a book to be a little bit like being pregnant. I think it’ll help.

Firstly: we have the big announcement. Light the lights, cue the music! Wahoo! A book is on its way!

Over the next few weeks, you’ll find yourself asking the same questions commonly asked of pregnant women.

“How’s it going?”

“What’s it like?”

“When’s your expected due date?”

Your writer will likely answer joyfully and expound at length. Life is good.

Is this a first book for your writer? Yes? Well, as with first pregnancies, be prepared for them to indulge in some excessive research.

Honestly, my book would be a skinny pamphlet without access to the gems in the photo. Check out my previous post on how my book would be nothing without these.

After a few more months (or years, as in my case), things could get a bit trickier. You might discern a change in your writer’s attitude. They may appear less bubbly or enthusiastic about “the manuscript.” If pressed, they may admit to “a few challenges.” These are likely related to writer’s block. As with the shortness of breath and the recurring reflux endured during pregnancy, writer’s block is beyond frustrating. It’s not unexpected, it’s just so all-consuming.

Take note: your response to your writer pal is crucial now. An empathetic, “That’s gotta be hellish” or “Let’s grab a coffee” is much wiser than “Nevermind, I’m sure it’ll pass” or “Have you thought about taking up knitting instead?”

Trust me.

As with a friend’s pregnancy, you could find yourself asking fewer and fewer questions as time drags on. I get it. I mean, why bother asking? It must be exhausting to keep receiving the same tersely buttoned-up: “Fine, thanks.”

The next phase is particularly tricky. Your innocent questions such as “What did you do today?” or “What are your plans for the weekend?” could receive shockingly terse and monosyllabic responses. Or, god forbid, just a simple grunt.

Please don’t take these harsh responses personally.

Why? Because it’s not about you. It’s about battling the doldrums. One could equate it to the sixth or seventh month of pregnancy where every day seems the same as the day before. Eat-write-eat-procrastinate-write-eat-sleep-repeat.

Be patient: the ideas and the words will start to flow again.

And as with late pregnancy, don’t be over-alarmed about the mild ankle swelling, or rolling of the shoulders or massaging of the hands. This a natural consequence of your scribe being hunched over the laptop for hours every day. Encourage them to get up and get out.  They’ll appreciate a change in blood flow and perspective as well as your attention.

Book Reveal Day.

Finally, after all these months, your patience is rewarded. This is the day you learn whether it’s a paperback, a hardcover or an e-Book. And what if it’s all three?!? Oh my.

If you’re very, very lucky, you might even learn the book’s title!

Yes, as with gender reveal day, book reveal day is very special.

Until then, hang in there.

As for me? Well, my book reveal day is fast approaching. I’m just doing some last minute layout tweaks.

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