We Need Thanksgiving Now More Than Ever, Am I Right?

Just me? Or is anyone else feeling that the boots are on the wrong feet these days?

We need Thanksgiving now more than ever, am I right? Bring on the gratitude, the turkey, the gravy and stuffing, the pumpkin pies, the tight pants … ALL of it.

Our Canadian Thanksgiving is this Monday, October 12th. Of course, it’ll be a little different this year. Everyone is being encouraged to hunker down and celebrate with just our bubble mates.

My brain refused to shut down last night as I fixated on yesterday’s extraordinary unmasking. I punched fluffed my pillows and whipped back the duvet for the umpteenth time and forced myself to focus on the things I’m grateful for. A key one? You, dear readers. I am grateful for you. I apologize for neglecting you these past few months.

But perhaps I could bring a little joy your way? 

Excellent. I’m cracking open the Just TypiKel vault and revisiting some of the previous McKenzie Thanksgivings. Back when we were free to visit, travel and hug.

Today’s offering: When Francine’s Thanksgiving Bird Was More Of A Bust

It’s 2010. Francine is 88 and this will be her third Thanksgiving in her apartment. She calls me with a rather startling announcement.

“I’m cooking the bird this year, Kel. You needn’t do a thing.”

Side bar: regular readers will know that my dear mother isn’t fond of “all things kitchen.” When asked to bring a simple dip to my surprise baby shower, she apparently snapped, “I don’t do dips. I’ll bring the paper napkins.” While she was a dab hand with turkey, her last one was over a decade ago. The woman refuses to even learn how to turn on her stove now. This’ll be interesting.

“I love that idea, Mom. How about I bring the side dishes?”

“Well, maybe. My stove is smaller than I’m used to.”

We Need Thanksgiving Now More Than Ever, Am I Right?

My two and I turn up at 4:00. Mom likes to get to bed early so we’ll be eating at 5:00. My toes relax as the familiar notes of roasting turkey waft down the hall.

Our host bustles out to greet us. Her face is rosier than the anticipated cranberry sauce.

“Put the casseroles on the counter, Kel. I’ve cleaned out the microwave.”

I immediately regret not browning the mashed potatoes. But nevermind. They’ll be hot.

“I’m trying something a little different this year. A turkey breast. Alex my dentist friend, raves about them. The best part is that they’re already stuffed.”

Already stuffed.

I quaff some wine as the microwave zaps the broccoli rice casserole.

“Don’t peek in the oven, Kel. Alex says to leave the bird alone. You don’t even need to baste it.”

You don’t even need to baste it.

My 15 year-old saunters in. He’s starving.

“Only five more minutes, Love. An added bonus of a turkey breast is that it needn’t rest. You can eat it right away, according to Alex,” Francine giggles with delight. She’s so relaxed that I offer up a silent prayer to her dentist friend. Mom is usually whirling faster than a lettuce spinner as she preps a meal.

When she deems it’s time for the turkey unveiling, Francine smiles smugly and dons the oven mitts.

“Another bonus is that the breast is much lighter than a full bird…”

“… according to Alex, ” the three of us chime in.

Bondage, Anyone?

Sweet Jesus. Francine has produced quite the vision.

“Oh. I remember it being somewhat smaller,” my startled mother manages.

“Was it raised strictly on steroids, Mom?” I ask as my offspring ogle in hypnotized awe.

The breast is now a beast. It’s huge, the charred string bites deeply into the crispy flesh. I’m beginning to feel rather alarmed.

“Stand back!” I shout, my arms lashing back in an effort to protect my darlings.

Francine grasps the scissors and snips the stringy bondage …

BOOM! 

Francine will be scraping up stuffing for days. It’s everywhere. One bite of the remainders and everyone loads up on the sides. Can you say, “dry”? Or perhaps, “stale crackers left out in the sun”?

Meanwhile, Alex is positively adamant that he told her to halve the cooking time …

Bless ya, Mom. We love you. We’ll do the bird from now on, thanks.

Francine on her 98th birthday a few weeks ago.

Yes, we need Thanksgiving now more than ever. I’ll be back tomorrow to share that time I prepped a full Thanksgiving spread in a tiny airbnb kitchen for my kids and their college friends …

If you’d care to chime in, I’d love to hear from you. Thank you for reading. It’s good to be back.