You’ll Never Guess What Our 97-Year-Old Just Bought

You’ll never guess what our 97-year-old just bought. Never.

But first, a quick Happy New Year to you.

I can’t believe I’ve not popped into your email since October. I’ve been writing, just not here. A quick thank you to friends and family who’ve stopped asking about “the book.” I get it. It must be very tiresome hearing ” Yup, banging out the last chapters and still tweaking the whole thing.” Please know that I am cracking on with it. My current takeaway about the process? How very much I’ve learned about the art of writing. And, how very much I still don’t know.

Gotta get back to it, so I’ll keep this post short and sweet.

Have You Met The Manager? No? Here’ s How To Make It Happen.

Mom and I have a lunch date every Sunday and yesterday my daughter joined us. Francine ordered her usual “pizza from the kids’ menu” for the 457th time sparking a series of now predictable events.

It’s just delightful.

The restaurant-chain-that-shan’t- be-named-so-that-head-office-doesn’t-find-out has come down hard on its staff of late. NO ONE must order from the kids’ menu if they’re over 12. NO ONE. Nevermind that Francine has been doing so for the past decade. Now every time she does so, the server blanches. A rictus smile steals over their face and they stoically take the rest of our orders. They vanish and, not two minutes later, the current manager pops over. Why is it a different manager every time? No idea. But I digress. The patter is always the same.

Manager: “I hear you’ve ordered the impossible.”
Francine: “Why yes, I have. I’m 97. I have digestive issues and can’t eat a big meal nor anything on your Seniors’ Menu. Your pizza is just perfect. And no, I don’t need the cardboard boat that comes with it, or the goofy hat or the impossible-to-blow-up-balloon. I wouldn’t mind the crayons and paper, though as I love to color … Do you?”

Ten unnecessary minutes later, all is cleared up and the pizza is delivered in a timely fashion.

You’ll Never Guess What Our 97-Year-Old Just Bought

As we’re driving home, Francine utters the second best line of the lunch. “I cannot thank you enough for getting me out today. I know every crease in every d**n sofa at my place.”

And then she utters the best line. “You must come in and see my new purchase. Bet you can’t guess what it is. I’ll only give you one hint. I’ve never had one as a child.”

What a teaser. My daughter and I spend the next ten minutes firing queries at her. But she’s on lockdown.

So. What did our 97 year-old acquire?

I suspect you’re possibly thinking …

Sorry, no. They’re long time family members.

Allow me to present:

Thank you, Francine. We love you.

So, did you guess? No? Of course, not. Who could?

So, tell me, what d’ya think our gal will acquire next? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.