Of late, everyone had been asking her “Can you hear me now?”
But.
Guess who’s sporting new hearing aids.
Our dear Francine had reached the point where she couldn’t follow conversations between more than one person. God help her if she was in a room with high ceilings. We’d be chatting away believing that the family matriarch was fully engaged when she’d randomly shift gears. And make a startling pronouncement. “I’ve asked the landlady at my old building to call me the minute an apartment becomes available” was arguably the most popular.
Our Clever Francine wasn’t born yesterday. She moved into assisted living in June of last year. A move that nearly killed her. And us. The threat of another move and a return to greater independence (and worry for her family) is a smart one. She knows that we’ll be all ears now.
We begged her to get her hearing tested. Bless her, she did and yes, hearing aids were recommended. Mom is now sporting a pair on a trial run basis.
Our recent outing proved that this wondrous achievement has created an unexpected situation.
Can You Hear Me Now?
I’d spent maybe five minutes with her before she uttered the first of many polite admonishments.
“There’s no need to shout, Kelly.”
I made a mental note to adjust my ‘inside voice.’ How cool. We had two stops on the day’s agenda. The first was to go to the drugstore to take advantage of the Seniors 20% off day. The second was lunch with my brother and his adult son at The White Spot.
“Kelly, can you see if there is any vanilla flavored Ensure on that top shelf?”
“Mom, I can’t hear you. Please speak up.”
“I am! I have to shout over this echo in my ear. The gal assured me it will clear up in a few weeks. Now, I need vanilla flavored Ensure. Not six but a dozen.”
“Mom, you sound as if you’re illicitly sharing state secrets. Please talk normally.”
She sighed and gave me that look that says she’s doing her best to be patient with me.
“Maybe you need your ears checked, Kel. Mention it to the doctor the next time you go. Now, we need to find the aspirin. I’ll ask the Pharmacist where it is.”
I shot a quick look at my daughter. Is it just me or is Gaga whispering? M’s grin confirmed my suspicions.
Ok, patience, Kelly. Remember the good woman is 95 and it’s still very early days on the hearing aids front.
The three of us strolled up and down the aisles scooping up marvelous deals on one nonagenarian’s basic necessities. When we couldn’t fit one more item into the overloaded cart, I wheeled it up to the counter and my daughter unloaded everything. We then stood respectfully aside as my mother answered the clerk’s query about the need for bags.
“Yes, we need bags. I’d also like to buy a Lotto 6/49. What’s that? You can’t hear me? I said: A Lotto ticket, please … A LOTTO TICKET AND MANY, MANY BAGS.”
I stepped closer and whispered into her ear. “I’m sorry, Francine, but you need to speak up. It’s as if you’re talking to your pet mouse.”
“My daughter says I should speak up. Can you hear me, dear? I need bags. We have to walk to the car and I don’t want all my bits and bobs spread out all over the sidewalk.”
As she and her wheelie skipped up the street M and I staggered under the weight of the two gigantic bags. Note to self: bring bags on the next Seniors’ Day Shopping Excursion. They are in very short supply at the shop.
“Can you turn down that dreadful racket?”
Note to self: the car radio, always lowered in her presence, must now be snapped off whilst Francine is onboard.
Out to lunch
“Oh would someone feed that poor child. He sounds starving.”
She can now hear the delighted squeals of a happy three year-old five booths over. It’s apparently distracting and the hearing aids are removed and returned to their box.
“Oh that’s much better. Now, what is everyone going to order for lunch?”
***
Francine wasn’t wearing the hearing aids last night in the Chinese restaurant and asked a most alarming question.
“Should I keep the damn things or give them back?”
Here’s hoping she chooses to keep that box empty.
12 Responses
I’m just amazed she never needed them before now. I fear that all my rock concerts in the 80s have already damaged my hearing and I’ll be in the same boat as Francine. But in my 50s not 90s!
Oh she’s needed them before now … And yes, perhaps you and I can get a BOGO deal on them. We should look into it …
Oh my, thank you for the wonderful laugh !!!! Having the pleasure of knowing your Mum, I felt like I was there as well, so funny ! My Mum also had hearing aids which drove her a bit crazy, but definitely helped out. The only issue was her actually turning them on. I would assume when I saw them in her ears that they were on, until she would say “I guess I should turn these on, as you have a quiet voice ” !!
You’re more than welcome, Jane. As you’ve done one of these runs, but at Safeway, you can really relate, I know. You had me laughing over the fact that your mum didn’t turn them on. So funny. Spoke with Francine this morning and she makes her decision tomorrow as to whether she’s going to keep the hearing aids. Fingers crossed …
Last year I was convinced that my hearing needed a mechanical boost, but a test said otherwise. Maybe that was for the best, because your mom’s experience makes it seem very difficult to get used to hearing aids.
Interesting that the test said you didn’t need them, Kathy. As for Mom, she is going to decide tomorrow if she’s going to keep hers. Fingers crossed …
I’m the only one of my siblings who does not need hearing aids. I’m also the only one who did not target shoot. Hmmm .
Good post
Pardon me?
LOL well fortunately she can take them in and out – out when the racket is too much? Do they want you to use them all the time or at your discretion (like reading glasses)? I’ve noticed that my mom’s hearing has diminished and I honestly didn’t know until I wondered why my dad talks so loudly to her. I thought he was the one who couldn’t hear. I wouldn’t dare mention it, I know she’s a long way from claiming to need them. I hope to be arguing with her about it when she’s 95, of course since she and I are only 18 years apart I’ll probably need them too.
She’s on what I like to call the ‘drip method,’ Kenya. Her usage is in small doses at first. Mom is going to decide today if she’s keeping them or not. It would be grand if she’d keep them but I’m thinking she’ll give them up.”I get a small heart attack every time someone even sneezes six tables over …”
As for you, maybe you and your mom can look into a buy one, get one free option when the time comes …
LOL – BOGO – love it!