Celebrating Then And Now – Before We Forget

Celebrating then and now – before we forget. Yes. Wondrous news! I’m about to be published in the humor anthology Laugh Out Loud by Allia Zobel Nolan along with other contributions from the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. I’m sharing the news today not only because of the recent cover reveal but because its theme of “celebrating then and now before we forget” reminds me so very much of Francine, my 95 year-old mother.

But first, a brief explanation for the newbies. Every Monday I share a teaser from the memoir I’m writing about the miraculous changes I underwent during the decade spent soldiering alongside my Type A mother in her successful Vancouver Asian antiques and collectibles shop. Miraculous? I think so. In 1983 I went in as a reluctant, dysfunctional Summer sales assistant. I knew nothing about Asian antiques and cared for them even less, yet I emerged in 1993 as a penny-pinching bookkeeper, confident buyer and rather capable salesperson. Toss in a boss blessed with multiple personas, two murdered customers, an introduction to the chap who’d become my husband, multiple quirky clients, and six overseas buying trips and well, it’s promising to be a fun read.

Celebrating Then And Now – Before We Forget

Doesn’t that cover just make you smile? I love it. Here’s a bit more about the book, which will be available on Amazon in April, and the wonder that is Allia. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to remind you as we get closer!

Now, how does celebrating then and now – before we forget remind me of Francine?

Francine is a chronic diarist. She journals everything, initially because of a suspected obsessive personality quirk and now out of the need to remember. I confess that this habit hasn’t sat well with me over the years. Nope. I’ve found it more than a little tiresome particularly when everything is put on hold while she jots down what she had for breakfast moments ago, what the servers’ names were, what section number we were sitting in and the time she took what pill and why.

But then I decided to finally get my act together and write this memoir and my attitude shifted.

Frankly without them there would be no book for me to write. These diaries are pure gold. I’ve been pouring through them, laughing out loud and sometimes weeping while reminiscing about people, events and things that had become hazy fragments or long forgotten.

I thought it would be the same for my boss. But no. She can’t remember much about those days.

“They’ve vanished from my memory bank, Kel.”

I usually respond with a wicked remark about how the book will be an enlightening and novel read for her …

Before We Forget

Ok. Fair enough as these are memories from over 30 years ago. What about today? Surely Francine remembers what happened today? Well, yes, mostly. However she shocked me the other day by some things she’d forgotten …

Last Friday, I accompanied her for a five and a half hour series of tests at the local hospital. I’ll spare you the details except to share that they put her through hell. Sheer hell that actually had the two of us singing the delightful 1943 classic Mairzy Doats out loud for all to hear.    

I think it’s fair to say that anyone would be hard-pressed to remember when Francine and I last sang a duet … It arose out of a dire need for patient distraction. We were a hit apparently; everyone, from custodians, to nurses, doctors and patients grinned at me and called out “‘Bye, Frankie!” when we left. Just TypiKel.

Of course, once she settled back home everything had to be properly recorded in her diary. However, she couldn’t remember the order of the tests or when she received certain meds and she called me. I just managed to hide my alarm. Why couldn’t she remember? Had she suffered a stroke?

No. Thankfully, it was a combination of the meds and of course, what she went through. Three days on and she’s much better, thank you.

However, the experience has left me far more appreciative of my mother’s gift of her diaries and especially of the memories that, because of the book, won’t be forgotten. Thank you, Mom, from the bottom of my heart. I apologize for not truly appreciating them earlier. Write on.

Enough. I’m curious about you. How’s your memory? Are you a chronic diarist? Are you thinking I’m delusional to expect my 95 nonagenarian colleague to remember the delights of over 30 years ago? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.

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16 Responses

  1. Congratulations on not only being one of the 40 Erma Bombeck soon-to-be published humorists but also for being there for Mom on Friday bravely belting out Mares Eat Oats. You and Mom continue to be quite the team! BRAVO!

    1. Thanks so very much, Wend. You should have seen the two of us singing. Started out quiet (well I did at least) and by the time we got to the end we were belting it out. She was sitting on the side of the bed despite tech’s request that she keep lying down. “I’ll get far too dizzy, I’m sitting up.” Yup, one NEVER knows what the day will bring, does one?

  2. Congratulations on being part of this book, I am very happy for you, and well deserved !! I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for your impromptu duet, the staff must have been very entertained !
    I have not kept a diary since my teenage years, but perhaps should, as my memory is not what it used to be, as you well know !

    1. Oh, yes, Jane that impromptu duet was quite something. We were playing the “how many words can you make out of that word” game using the posters in the room. Sadly, the words were all small and difficult to work with. The tech suggested a song and well,that was it. We were off and running.

  3. Your Mom sounds like an amazing woman, and so does your memoir! Two murdered customers and a husband is quite an intro, can’t wait to read it.
    Congrats on the book!

    1. Aw, thank you so very much, Leslie. She is quite the gal, I must say. Has a zillion health issues but you’d never know. She rarely complains and just gets on with it. As for the memoir, I do have a lot of material to work with! Just got to keep plugging away at it. Please know that I found your comment to be inspirational! Off to write.

  4. The only journaling I do is on my blog, which has come in handy to remember when things have happened in the last decade.

  5. My life has been incomplete before now. But thanks to you, I have been exposed to “Mairzy Doats”!

    Congrats on the book! I love that you have all those diaries. I have a few, but ever since I had kids my entries are far and few between, and usually of the depressed level as I needed the diary to vent. Not sure the kiddos will laugh when and if they ever read them!

    1. Oh I am delighted to have introduced you to the wonders of Mairzy Doats, Katy. We used to sing it as kids while we walked from our cabin to the beach. Francine was terrified (still is) of snakes and we believed the song would scare them off the trail …
      As for the diaries, I can tell that Francine has been careful. She is very open about talking about her feelings (good and bad) about my dad but is cautious about her kids. I cannot imagine the control that must have taken. My diaries would contain sentiments similar to yours, I believe. Oh yes.

  6. I have never heard Mairzy Doats but now I must share it with my grandkids! I’m so sorry that Francine (and you) had to go through the day of torturous testing. It’s hell getting old, especially for someone so vibrant and alive!! I envy both Francine’s collection of written memories and her discipline in keeping up that habit. Truly a treasure trove of research for your book but, as important, a gift to future generations of your family!

    1. I am glad that I was able to introduce you to Mairzy Doats, Mo! We sang it as kids with Mom when we were walking from our cabin to the beach in an attempt to alert snoozing snakes that we were coming. And yes, Francine remarks that it is hell getting old, pretty much weekly. I just made an eye appointment with an eye guy as my vision has changed dramatically lately …Not to worry I couldn’t get in for four months, at least I’m in …

  7. Congratulations on your contribution to the upcoming anthology! That will be a great book no surprise to me that your essay would be chosen. As for diaries, I have kept them in the past some I’ve destroyed. I found some some my youth and have kept some going in recent years. I do wish I had been doing it more regularly because I have forgotten so many things and it would be wonderful to have some written clarity. How wonderful that your mother’s habits have provided the material for the memoir. And it sounds like it’s been a joy to explore the diaries.

    1. Aw, thank you, Molly for your kind words about the anthology.
      As for the diaries, it has been enlightening reading them and sometimes rather sad. I have to say that she’s been pretty guarded in some areas in them. You can tell that she was writing them with an eye to future viewing!
      As for me, I only journal when I travel. I suspect that’s because I’m bubbling over with happy thoughts and new insights!

  8. TRUE GOLD those diaries are! My gosh, you could publish her diaries just as they are and that book would be a HIT. That is just so amazing that she has recorded it ALL. I’m too lazy for that. I absolutely hate writing- pen and paper style, because my handwriting is atrocious and it’s just grueling for me. SO thankful for the keyboard!

    Poor Frankie having to go through all those tests. Sigh. That can be so traumatizing! But of course, you two got through it as only you two do!! Gosh, how I love that. I wish you could have a reality show and we could actually WATCH scenes like this play out. Now THAT would be a hoot!! But at least we can be fully entertained by your brilliant story-telling right here…

    And in the book!!

    Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS on the upcoming anthology!! What an honor for you to be included with such an amazing group of writers, Kelly! I love that cover. 🙂

    1. Thanks so much, Chris. I grinned while reading that you’re not fond of pen and paper as I’m the same! I find it very odd to hold a pen now. I’m all about the keyboard! Writing on paper just seems so awkward and slloowwwww.
      As for the tests, I’ve suggested to Mom that she really consider whether a future proposed test is necessary. She has many health issues that she’s managing and sometimes the test seems to be worse than the issue!

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