Today’s Momday Motivations is about the fine line between legitimate need and a scam.
I was reminded of just how very thin this line is when I last visited my son in Montreal.
He suggested a potluck affair for our final annual Thanksgiving dinner with his college pals. The apartment I was renting for the weekend was teensy but fortunately it had a huge patio and the gang simply hefted the dining table outside.
On the day of the party I arranged to meet my son at 3:00pm for our traditional stroll up Mount Royal, the hill (or mountain depending on your perspective) that overlooks Montreal.
This is the view from the top. You can see where I arranged to meet him!
The Fine Line Between Legitimate Need And A Scam
My eyes were drawn to the woman in a purple coat. Her purse was dangling from her neck and she was wearily leaning on a pair of elbow crutches, smack in the middle of the throng of students, shoppers, tourists, dogs and strollers. My heart went out to her. In her mid-50’s, she was severely disabled, her feet were misshapen, and her legs were obviously unable to bear her weight. She lit up when she caught me looking.
“Can you please help? I’m trying to sit over there.”She waved at a small cement bench six feet away and gripped my left arm.
We sat. After learning that I was a tourist, she explained that she was a PhD student and that her ride had been inexplicably cancelled. It was a prepaid service, she had no money and no way of getting home.
Could I help?
I floundered about for solutions. Perhaps a friend could come get her? No, no one was available. Perhaps a regular bus? No, her home was off the bus route.
As the minutes ticked away, she flattered me, assuring me that no Montrealer would be as thoughtful. That was surprising. My interactions with them had been different. Most kindly helped me with my french, happily pointed out the way to the Metro, and cheerfully directed me to the nearest wine shop.
“Do you have any change?”
I’d some toonies in my pocket but they were for treats after the hike.
“Well, how about a credit card? Surely, Madame, has one of those!”
As I shook my head, she suddenly hissed and leaned in uncomfortably close. One look at her intimidating glare and it hit me.
“Look, I’m running out of time, I’m sorry. Why don’t you call the police? Surely, they could come to your aid.”
Spittle flew as her face flushed an angry red.
“NO WAY! They won’t help at all. How could you even possibly suggest that?”
“Bon chance, Madame.”
I bowed and took my leave.
By the time I met up with my son, I was severely questioning whether I’d misread the situation and was shocked at his incredulous smile.
“MOM! They sent us a warning about her just last week. She’s the campus scammer who hits up mostly female students for money! You didn’t give her any, I hope …”
Rewinding: The Fine Line Between Legitimate Need and A Scam
“Mom! You didn’t give him any money did you?”
Francine turned a disappointed face towards me. “How can you be so cold, Kelly? This gentleman may lose his pregnant wife and all you can think about is the money? I would have hoped that I’d raised someone with a soul …”
The fellow in question leered at me with open delight. And swayed on his feet. I’d smelled the stale cigarettes and booze on him from the second I’d walked into the shop.
“They were in the store last week to look at that vase in the window. Last night they were in a car accident and she’s clinging to life. He has no money. I want you to go down to the bank with him, withdraw the funds and then drop him off downtown. He’ll pay us back tomorrow.”
Three weeks later there was a warning on the radio about a fellow scamming several Vancouver shops with this very tale. I was relieved that I’d managed to talk Francine down $200.00 from the requested …
A Friend For Life
“Please. I just need $100.00 to tide me over to the end of the month. It’s a silly mix up with the tax department and I’ll never bother you again.”
The elderly woman returned to the store the very next day with the $100.00 plus interest and two lottery tickets. Mine wasn’t a winner but Francine’s was. Big time. They split the winnings and this stranger would become a special guest at my wedding.
Yes, I still find it difficult to discern the fine line between legitimate need and a scam. When you get it right, it’s reassuring. But when you don’t …
Enough about the fine line between legitimate need and a scam. I’m curious about you. Have you ever been scammed? Can you guess how much our shop scanner got? Better yet, can you see the huge likeness of Leonard Cohen on one of the buildings in my Montreal pic? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
12 Responses
Wow, what a scam ! I have indeed run across a few of those people over the years as well. It is truly difficult to sometimes differentiate the ones in need from the scammers ! Well done for not giving in .
I can’t help but wonder how many folks have been taken in by her, Jane. And what got her started in the first place. The company she says “cancelled on her” says right on their website that they NEVER cancel. Ouch.
I was so surprised once when a girl knocked on my car window after a I had gotten in after a hair appointment. She gave me the whole story about how they were out of gas, blah, blah, blah and could I give her a couple dollars for gas money. I was shocked so much and couldn’t discern a truth from a lie. I still have no idea if it was legit–at least it was only $2!
Oh, I get that you paid her, Katy. And that you still wonder. Let’s go with legit …
I loaned a soon to be ex-boyfriend $250 to make rent. It was right out of college and an absurdly high amount for me. I remember rationalizing to a girlfriend, “Once he never pays me back I don’t ever have to loan anyone money ever again. He’ll be my cautionary tale!”
(And yes, one day maybe a year or more later I received a check in the mail repaying the full amount. No winning lottery ticket though, alas.)
Wow – that was a huge sacrifice and a very kind thing to do! Golly. And he paid you back! We’re still waiting on the money we gave to our “customer” … Perhaps there’s still hope. After all it’s only been 30 years …
I’m still haunted by a young mother’s face that I saw in a bathroom while I was taking a day trip to Oxford. I stopped for lunch and used the bathroom. A young woman with a baby asked for money. I couldn’t give her any. I was young myself, not a lot of money on me and I had to get back to London to meet up with my mother and brother. That was over 20 years ago and I still think about her.
OH, yes, I’d still be haunted by her face as well. Let’s hope that all is well now and the baby is a thriving 20ish …
I will buy some one lunch and such but I don’t hand out money. Scammers taught me early.
I don’t do it often enough but that’s how I operate as well.
There was a woman who sat outside the football stadium before every home game, with a sign that said she was four month pregnant and needed money. She was crying every time, real tears. She stayed four months pregnant for over a year, and those tears never dried. I guess she figured she’d scam different people every time.
Wow – it makes you wonder, doesn’t it? The Montreal company that provides rides for the disabled has had to post an alert that they NEVER leave anyone high and dry …