I had absolutely no intention of writing about “Here’s why Instagram matters” just three days ago. Today’s Momday Inspirations post was going to be a teaser about the time a famous television personality came into the store with his wife and our darling Francine hadn’t the slightest clue who he was, even though his show was one of her particular favorites.
But then I stumbled across some devastating news on Instagram that reminded me that we never truly know what lies just ahead … around the corner … or just over the hill …
It was 2:00am on Sunday morning and I couldn’t sleep. My brain was in overdrive. So I reached over and grabbed my phone, thinking that perhaps a little scrolling through the Instagram app and a peek into the lives of others would be just the ticket to shut things down. Hopefully I’d toddle across a fellow insomniac. I find their photos of a digital clock flashing “03:06” to always be so comforting. They immediately transport me back to when I was wide awake in the middle of the night with my babies and I’d open my curtains to peek out at the house across the street. Nothing gave me greater pleasure than to see these new parents’ bedroom light on. They were also up; it wasn’t just me.
Here’s Why Instagram Matters
The first photo in my Instagram feed was magical.
It was of a sweet toddler nestled snuggly in his grandmother’s lap. Both were enfolded in a loving embrace by the beaming grandfather.
The child’s grandmother is someone I’ve been following for about six months and we’ve gradually gotten “to know” one another. Her Instagram feed expresses her youthful, joyous attitude towards life through her clothing. She’ll sometimes post photos of her husband (usually when they’re at a game and he’s standing closely beside her, wearing his team’s hat and beaming at the camera) however the majority of the photos are of her. But they aren’t selfies. Someone else takes the pictures and I’ve always assumed that it was her husband.
She’s been on Instagram for under a year and her engagement with her followers is truly remarkable. Her comments reveal that her marriage is a good one. Her husband’s teasing of her pants as “being more suitable for an elephant” or of her “incessant need to document every outfit with a photo” often has me grinning. I imagine him pretending to be frustrated by her endless requests to retake the photo, by positioning the phone lengthwise, or holding it still, or zooming in on her purse. However, in reality I suspect that he’s proud as punch of her ability to attract so many loyal followers.
She didn’t post much over the holidays due to her visiting sons and their families, so this photo with hubs and her grandchild was a delightful surprise.
A Devastating Revelation
But then I read the accompanying comment.
This gem of a husband, to whom she’d been married for over 40 years, had suffered a massive heart attack the day before and had passed away!
She went on to say that she was devastated and that her adult sons were with her and that she’d be off Instagram for a while.
What?!?
My heart broke for her as the news slowly sank in. Even now, as I write this, tears are welling and my throat is closing. This lovely woman’s life and that of her family has been forever devastatingly changed, all in just one little blink.
I’m reminded, once again, of how death, no matter how it comes, is just so achingly final.
Adding Instagram To The List of Must-Do’s
When my husband passed away, it wasn’t sudden. His body could simply no longer fight the fight. I remember being flooded with an absolute clarity regarding everything that now needed to be done. The list contained the writing of the obituary, the booking of the remembrance service, the notification of friends and family, and the upcoming registration of my daughter for her preschool. Tick, tick, tick.
Of course, I’d have added Instagram to the list if it had existed 20 years ago. One photo, a brief explanation and then I’d disappear. How long that disappearance would be is anyone’s guess.
For my friend, I’d like her to know that I wish I could press the rewind button, to delete what happened. I wish I could give her the one thing she wants: a healthy husband. But I can’t.
So, instead, I’ll be thinking of her and praying for her and her family and hoping they find the strength to navigate through such a difficult time.
Here’s why Instagram matters. Without it, I’d never have met this lovely person and I’d never know that she’s suffering such a loss. When my friend gains the strength to return to Instagram, I’d like her to know that her followers will be there for her. We may have not met her in person, but we value her friendship as strongly as if we had.
27 Responses
Kelly, that was so lovely and brought tears to my eyes. As always, you speak from the heart and shows how fortunate I am to be blessed with your friendship. How true that life can be forever changed in an instant.
Thank you, Jane. I feel so very fortunate to be blessed with your friendship as well.
I feel so attached to some of my blogging friends even though I’ve only met a handful in real life. I hope your friend is surrounded by love and support and that she finds her way on this new path.
We are really blessed to be living at a time that we can “meet” and friend folks from around the world, aren’t we? As for my friend,she’s a gem and I’ve gathered from her posts that she has a tightly knit family and a loyal group of friends. They’ll do all they can for her, I’m certain.
So sad, Kelly. I have not ventured into Instagram, but the folks I’ve met and come to know and love in other places certainly do mean a lot. I do hope your friend is surrounded by supporting loved ones.
It is so very sad and I wish for her the very same. Thanks, Lisa.
Thank you for writing this, Kelly…I have many FriendsIHaveNotMetYet, and I count you among them. I have worried as much about my friend Rachel when she was living in Tel Aviv (and rockets were being fired into her area from Gaza) as I have about friends who live here in Anchorage…because of social media and the internet, my circle of friends literally spans the globe, as does yours.
Oh, Deborah, that was beautifully put. Thank you. I also value your friendship and I look forward to meeting you.
What a sad story, Kelly. You never know in this world of mortality what will happen. Grateful for the health of my husband and me every day and try not to take it for granted. Your story is a poignant reminder.
It’s so very sad, Molly. Take great care of yourself and your husband.
I know I would hurt for you if you were hurting in any way, Kelly. Just like I can feel your joy and happiness in your writing and your picture sharing, too. My heart goes out to your friend.
Thanks, Katy. Your words mean the world to me.
I’m so sorry for your friend’s devastating loss. Social media has allowed for friendships that most probably would never have happened until this internet age. Instagram and the photos shared once again reminds me that we aren’t very different. We have families and those we love. Traditions and silly things that mean so much because of shared time. Valuing the time we are given with those we love. Such an important reminder. Thanks Kelly.
Oh, Jamie, that’s so very true, isn’t it? Thank you for your insightful and comforting comment.
Beautiful words about one of these new-fangled friendships that arise in unexpected places. It’s amazing how we’ve become important fixtures in each other’s lives whether for a month or a whole life stage. So glad to have found you, my Canadian friend. And glad too that you’ve offered comfort in the way you can to your Instagram friend.
Beautifully put, Jen. Thank you and please know that I’m grateful to have found you and your lovely, exuberant family.
Beautifully written. Reminds me that life can be cut short far too often
Thank you, Connie. It was a hard post to write but I felt it was necessary. Hope all well with you and yours.
We are all connected aren’t we. We feel when others experience loss, especially when we have experienced it ourselves. We know what it feels like. I’m glad you have had the experience of connecting with that amazing soul (just like you are) that’s been sharing her journey on Instagram.
That’s exactly it, Suzanne. We know what it feels like.
Thank you for sharing this Kelly. I know what you’re feeling since I’ve lost my blog friend Vanessa. Any extension of my blog friends loss is just as much a heartbreak.
Yes, I was so sorry to read about Vanessa. You do understand what I’m feeling.
Oh, I’m so sorry for your friend, Kelly. I know how those online friends become real friends even if you have not met – that is one of the positive sides of social media…the connections we make.
The connections are truly amazing, aren’t they, Dana? We are blessed.
Oh Kelly, I am so sorry about your precious friend and her husband. You are so right- these social media outlets are GOLD when it comes to connecting with people, especially when those who use it have BIG HEARTS like you.
Thank you, Chris. It is so very sad. And yes, these social media outlets are GOLD. What a lovely way to put it.