A half hour in our company and my dear friend was severely puzzled. To whom should she make the cheque out? Frankie? Francine? I was shocked. I couldn’t believe she hadn’t heard the hilarious escapade of How Mum Frankie Became Francine.
But first a bit of context. Frankie/Francine, my 93 year-old mum, has just completed a series of paintings which are now ready for their forever homes. While sorely tempted by one her two tulip numbers:
my pal held on to her original wish for a village snow scene. Thankfully this beaut proved to be just the ticket.
Yay!
My brother, who’d come for dinner, launched directly into his version of how Mum acquired the name of Francine. The recollection, while colourful, was decidedly erroneous, leaving me vowing to devote my next blog post to the truth of how Mum Frankie became Francine.
How Mum Frankie Became Francine
I was 12 and not looking forward to the Christmas party. I’d not been sleeping a wink well at the Honolulu penthouse slum apartment that we were renting for three weeks, mainly because of the other tenants’ tendency to argue every night. My sister and I heard each hurtful, drunken word through our teensy bedroom’s paper-thin walls. Sadly, the place hadn’t one ounce of the cachet of the anticipated rental property. Add in the concept of driving to the northern tip of Oahu to attend some random festive party held by adult strangers and I wasn’t a happy little elf.
Mercifully things shifted upon our arrival.
Our hosts (son and daughter-in-law of our landlords) were the picture of graciousness. They rounded up my parents for effusive introductions, leaving my older brother and sister and me on our own to enjoy the delights of the appetizer buffet.
Robust intros flooded the room.
“May I present my parents’ Canadian holiday guests. Godfrey, the dentist and Francine, the author of children’s books.”
How extraordinarily delicious. Bless him. We’d not forget these intros any time soon. (Except my dear brother, apparently. Remember now, bro?) In reality, Godfrey was Geoffrey, a pediatrician and Francine was Frankie, a university professor of fine arts. Oh my.
What was our parents’ reaction? They actively encouraged the misnomers. Nodding, beaming, dibbling and dobbling, they worked their way through the festive crowd. Godfrey was soon extolling the virtues of the latest in dental x-ray imagery and Francine regaled everyone with an outline of her latest chapter book. It was heaven; I learned a huge lesson that day. One could morph into anyone at a stranger’s soiree.
Better yet, the Godfrey and Francine pseudonyms became a familial Hawaiian souvenir.
My late father, who survived my classic Just TypiKel rolling of the family Volkswagen during a regular driving lesson, referred routinely to my mother as Francine. For years afterwards, he’d signal his wish to leave a family dinner by announcing it was “time to take Francine home and put her in her box.”
I milked the Francine; it was extraordinarily handy at work. Assisting Mum for ten years in her asian antiques shop (yes, I am feverishly hammering away on my book about the incredible hilarities experienced whilst working with this dynamo) I found it beyond awkward to call her “Mum.” So I’d revert to Francine. That innocent nickname allowed a seamless sale without the stop-and-go overreaction that inevitably occurred when new customers deduced we were actually a mother and daughter team.
How is dear Francine today? Allow me to introduce her latest footwear.
Aren’t they gorgeous? She’s thrilled with these numbers she calls “lipstick red.” Apparently they are ever so comfy and yes, go with the socks … I hope to see a lot of them this Christmas.
This sentence, in addition to being prompted by my friend, was sparked by the Finish The Sentence Friday cue of “This Christmas, I hope …” The hosts for this week are our steadfast Kristi of Finding Ninee and Lisa of http://www.the-golden-spoons.com/
Enough about How Mum Frankie Became Francine. I’m curious about you. Are you known by your given name or has someone bequeathed you another one? Do you like it? What do you hope for this Christmas? One of Francine’s paintings? If so, just email. Better yet, what do you think of her snazzy footwear? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear. If you’d also care to share this post with friends, via word of mouth, Facebook, a Pin or a tweet, I’d be forever grateful. Thanks.
50 Responses
Hi Kelly. Lorraine Conn here….. Laura-Lee’s sister. I don’t know how I got into your blog but love it. My Mom is 92 also and still kicking
(somewhat). My husband Doug and I have retired to Victorua and enjoying a simpler/quieter life over here after working 35 years. I would love an opportunity to purchase one of your Mom’s paintings. Pls email when you can!
Hi, Lorraine! So great to hear from you. I’m delighted your mom is hanging in there too at 92. I’ll let Mom know you’re interested in a painting first thing tomorrow morning! I’d do it now however I’m thinking she’s probably tucked up in bed getting her beauty sleep. Thank you so much for reaching out. I’ll be in touch.
My email is [email protected]. Let’s correspond there!
Absolutely. Will do.
ACK I love your mom and I adore Francine! Her footwear is festive and awesome and OMG I cannot wait to read your book – which I know I’ve said before. Please tell me that those new shoes are worn with the purple pants.
Good memory, Kristi! They are indeed worn with the purple pants. She heard about the sale of these delights at a local Seniors Home so popped by for a shopping visit. As they only had a black pair on offer she asked for something with a little more pizazz. Not only did the gal come up with this colour, but she delivered them to Mum at home. Now that’s service!
What a cute story. It speaks so of the graciousness of your parents. I loved it.
Aw, thanks, Kimberly. You can’t make this stuff up. I only hope that my brother now tells the true version of the story from now on. If not, at least others can tell it to him. Ha!
Oh what fun! I bet they had a blast that night. They sound like such characters! How’s the new book coming? We are a huge nickname family so I have quite a few depending on who is speaking. Hubby calls me Poochie and it seems to have stuck so we call each other that most of the time…except for him he’s known as “Poochie Bear”. I can’t figure it out though, he wasn’t thrilled that I shared his nickname with one of his coworkers. Go figure lol!
Oh, Rena you make me grin. Poochie Bear? Shared with one of his coworkers? That’s a hoot. Good on you. My late husband called me “Lobstertail” as a souvenir from our trip to Nova Scotia where we dined on lobster, sporting enormous plastic bibs. I thank the lord he passed on before he could share that little gem with more than a handful or two!
Well, my brother used to call me “fish-face” if that makes you feel better! Haha!
Oh Rena, that sounds like something my brother would have called me! I was “duck-face …”
What a fun story, Kelly! that scene must have been a hoot. I’m guessing, based on what you’ve shared, Frankie suits her much better.
Frankie does suit her much better, Nanette. Her given name is Frances and I’m sorry but it doesn’t suit her at all. Her dad nicknamed her Frankie and it stuck. I love it. And yes, it was quite a hoot watching my parents parade about as Godfrey and Francine. Still makes me grin all these decades later.
What a wonderful story, Kelly! I can see that you got your wonderful charm and creativity from both of your parents! Do you think it would be possible to get an autographed copy of one of Francine’s children’s books for Christmas? 🙂
Oh I am grinning here, Donna. An autographed copy of one of Francine’s children’s books for Christmas. Such a witty line. I shall attend to it immediately. Do you wish a hard cover? Or soft? Or perhaps the online version?
Kelly…I am in aww of your mom and I must have told you earlier too…but I just LOVE her paintings!!
Wish you were closer to me 🙂
I absolutely love those shoes and says a lot about her attitude 🙂
Can’t wait to read the children’s book dear…good luck!!
I’ll let Mum know you’re a fan of the shoes, Ruchira. Thank you!
Some people call me Ame. I don’t think I’ve told anyone this, but I secretly listen for the Ame when people become my friend. When I was a kid, I had decided that people who call me Ame are special in some way to me. Not sure how or why. It’s kind of an inside joke in my head. Not many people call me Ame (pronounced like AIM) and I have many dear friends that have never called me Ame, so it is just a silly head game really.
GREAT story, by the way, as usual. Glad you’re back. I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your family and friends.
Oh I love Ame. I know just what you mean about secretly listening for that. With me it’s Kel. When I hear that, I’m golden. Thank you for your kind wishes and I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday as well.
What a fun memory!!! Your parents must be pretty fun people to play along with it and have such a good time! 🙂
Thanks, Lisa. My dad was a great sport. Sadly he passed away almost eight years ago. My mum is still alive and thriving. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season with your family and friends.
Your mom’s shoes are very similar to a pair I just bought for myself. However, I went with the boring (but oh, so practical) black. Maybe when I get to be her age I’ll get adventurous.
And, BTW, her tulip picture is BEAUTIFUL!
Oh whatever the colour, I’ll bet they are SO comfy, Kathy. Isn’t the tulip picture wonderful? She says its her best piece she’s ever done. She’s now working on a third one. I’ve yet to see it and am looking forward to that. I’ll post a pic for fun when I do.
Nice to hear from you again Kelly! Your Mom sounds like quite a character and I love her red shoes and colorful socks. Is your Mom an author of children’s books? If yes, what is her last name and does she have a website? My Mom’s name was Frances too and she hated being called Frannie. Thanks for sharing!
No – my mum has been many things – a nurse, a fine arts prof, an entrepreneur and a mum and wife – but she’s never been an author of children’s books. Oh, she did write a book about her family and another about aboriginal myths, however nothing for kids. She tells great stories though. I used to love listening to them when I was growing up. Cool that your mother was also a Frances. Mum would not be fond of being called Frannie either.
Love “your mom” stories. Referring to taking Francine home to put back in her box made me LOL, that was cute. Love her red shoes. I think I saw a highlight there so I am off to go read than one.
Aw thanks, Kenya.
What a wonderful story! I love how those names stuck for years and became a sort of family inside joke, and that your parents went with the flow at the party and created new identities for themselves based on their introductions.
Thanks, Bev. Looking back, I have a much better appreciation for their going with the flow. What a hoot it must have been for them.
Another serious fab story about you wonderful family. The idea of a secret new identity bestowed upon one by a stranger host at a party just makes my head explode with delight. I SO want one!
A shout out of love to your mom. Her art is fabulous and those shoes are the best. Lipstick red! And I happen to know for a fact that life is exponentially more wonderful when wearing red shoes, so clearly Frankie is in the know.
Thanks so much, Deborah. Just spoke with Mum and she’s thrilled to learn about all the positive support. Timely, too. Her latest painting is causing her grief. Am popping over tomorrow for a consult. And yes, I agree with you. Red shoes for all!
What a FUN story! It almost makes a person want to go out and create a whole evening of ‘being someone else’. It’s so funny that they got both of their names incorrectly AND the occupations also. As you would say….just typical.
Yes, it was a truly magical party, Elda. Both names and occupations wrong and I love how my folks handled that. Could have gone in such a different direction. Thank you so much for popping in and reading.
Lipstick red! I want footwear just like that. At 35, but at 93 too. And the author of children’s books too! What a memorable party.
Oh it certainly was, Tamara. And yes, Mum is always unearthing delights such as these shoes. She’s quite a gal.
So many nicknames in my family, and most of them aren’t PG enough for the blog world :)! I love your mom more and more with each story. Maybe one of these days I’ll get back up to Vancouver and be lucky enough to meet both of you!
Hahaha! I do understand the “… aren’t PG enough for the blog world …” issue. Same here. Yes, Yes, Yes. Do come up! We’ll pop by Mum’s for tea and a tour of her studio and then pop out for lunch. Do!
That’s an awesome story. And further proof that we must be related somehow as my family is sprinkled with similar stories. Take me for instance. At my graduation from UBC for my master’s degree, the culmination of 2 years of blood, sweat and tears, I had the pleasure of having my name announced by a French Canadian. Thus, she called out “Katrine” rather than “Kathryn”. I honestly did a double take before walking across the stage to accept my degree. To this day, my parents refer to me as Katrine.
Absolutely stunning. “Katrine.” Mon dieu. And the fact that your folks refer to you still as Katrine? Priceless. Welcome to Canada.Thank you for sharing, Katy. Made my day.
Seriously, I couldn’t love your mom more if I tried and I finally got her to read this having had a crazy Friday and weekend, but so glad I did. This shoes are awesome, but then again wouldn’t expect anything less from her and her paintings – WOW!! 😉
Aw thanks, Janine. I’ll pass on your kind words to her over lunch today. I’m taking in one of her paintings to be framed and picking up another to drop off to her. She’ll be tickled pink. Or lipstick red.
You’re mom is so adorable and truly my idol! Love the shoes, love the painting! I want to be your mom when I’m 93.
Me, too, Allie. Me, too.
You can never go wrong with a fabulous pair of red shoes. Francine knows her footwear!
I would love to pretend I’m someone else entirely the next time I’m at a party where I don’t know anyone, but I have no poker face at all. I would crack up almost immediately!
I remember answering the door at someone else’s Halloween party and seeing two uniformed police standing there. One female, one male. Something was familiar about her so I peppered her with questions. She didn’t crack a wink. Turned out it was another mom from preschool – the older class so I didn’t know her all that well. She’d be a scary poker player.
I love the idea of taking on a whole new persona at a party with strangers. I have never tried it – but it sounds fun! For some reason I just discovered red shoes this year – and now have 2 pair. None are lipstick red however- your mom could pull those off much better than me, I suspect!
Oh I’ll tell Mum. She’ll love that you have two pairs of red shoes. So fun! I have one pair and they are the comfiest shoes I own.
First of all, I love the tulip painting! Your mom is a dynamo with great talent! I have a dear friend whose name is Geoffrey Lutz. He was once introduced as Godfrey Loots so that is his special nickname now and forever.
Seriously? First off, Geoffrey as in G not J? Amazing. Then it too was defaulted to Godfrey? Choking with laughter here, Mo. Godfrey Loots is a hoot. Oh man. Thanks for the grin.