“Oh but you’ll love it when you’re older.”
I’m sorry. No. That is NOT the thing to say to someone who is 19 and looks 12. “Older” is eons away. You don’t care about “older,” you care about NOW.
Trust me, there is NOTHING special about being 19 and looking 12.
I always looked younger than I was.
Have a good look at this photo. Same dress, completely different look, right? The poised gal on the left is my sister. The monkey face monster delight on the right is me. Of course, I’m not 19, nor is my sister. My sister is a scant two years older but she could pass for six.
Naturally, I had to participate in this week’s Finish The Sentence Friday prompt of “When I was 19 …” If only as a cautionary tale to parents about the need to never utter the dreaded “Oh but you’ll love it when you’re older.”
Being 19 and Looking 12
Think back to when you were 19. Remember how important it was to hang out with your buds? My province’s drinking age is 19. It was a given that I’d never be able to arrange for some fake ID in first year university at 18. No way.
I remember cringing in my Bi 101 class as my two 30 year-old looking lab partners Sally and David giggled over the fun they were going to have later at the rival campus. They didn’t question the fact that they could get into SFU’s pub (a good hour away from our campus) and hang out with the SFU football team.
And me? I sat home that night scarfing down ice cream and complaining to my mother. You can guess her helpful response.
That maternal advice did finally sink in; I began to look forward to my 20’s. After five years of university under my belt, I found myself working in tourism, designing and selling chartered bus trips for senior citizens. While there was that unfortunate episode when I behaved very badly as a last minute host on one of my Christmas light tours, for the most part my looks and my age weren’t really an issue. Perhaps because most of my clients were aging and their eyes weren’t as sharp as they could have been …
Then I joined Mum in her asian antiques shop. In addition to handling “smalls” we also sold some pretty pricey items. Looking back now, I can see why a couple would think twice about buying a $10,000 100 year-old Japanese screen from a 14 year-old. But I didn’t really appreciate how young I looked until I overheard one of our regular customers asking Mum if she trusted me with a key to the store. Excuse me? I was 25.
But the true corker had to be the time I flew alone from Sydney to Alice Springs in Australia. Moments after we reached our cruising altitude, the lovely flight attendant came over and asked a brilliant question. Keep in mind this was long before 9/11.
“Would you like to come up to the cockpit and see the pilot?”
Wow. I’d finally arrived. The pilot had noticed me boarding and wanted to meet me. Golly.I bustled up to the teensy cockpit with the confidence of a mature woman. While I’d anticipated the added delight of a young copilot I was ill prepared for the cluster of multiple passengers. Something was decidedly off.
“Welcome, boys and girls. See that puffy cloud outside the big front window? That’s an autocumulus cloud. Isn’t it special?”
What was special was the average age of the group. 14. I was 27.
And later? Well we had that odd blip when my darling 4 year-old son announced to the world that his mother was 62.
And now? Do folks think I look far younger than I am? Apparently not.
A few weeks ago, several of us got to do a redo of our Seattle 2015 Listen To Your Mother performance at the incredible outdoor recreation centre that is IslandWood on Bainbridge Island in Washington state. We were invited to be the Friday night speakers at “Circle of Friends,” the annual writer’s retreat. That’s me on the far left in black the shocking pink. Those shoes? Don’t judge, thank you. I inherited the family bunion.
Savvy readers will be aware that my children are 20 and 21. Ok. Guess what? I was asked if one of these lovely ladies, who shall remain anonymous, was my daughter. Yes. We range in age from early 30’s to 63, with me not being the eldest.
Was I upset? Nope. I chose to consider the concept that my fellow castmate simply looks far younger than she is. Bless her. And no, I didn’t mention she’ll appreciate it once she’s older.
Do check out the other Finish the Sentence posts. As ever our head cheerleader is Kristi of Finding Ninee. Tonight’s cohosts are Mimi Sager Yoskowitz of Mimi Time and Vidya Sury of Going A-Musing
If your child looks 12 and they’re really 19, just nod. And maybe pass ’em a beer.
Enough of me and my rant about being 19 and looking 12. I’m curious about you? Were you one of the lucky ones who looked 30 at 19? Or were you a baby-face like me? Did you have issues about how you looked? Better yet, take a guess. Which of my fellow castmates pictured above was selected as my daughter?
46 Responses
FRIST!
And I bet that was a pain in the ASS! But at least you got to see the cockpit of the plane.
I get told I look young now, which I like…but I think it’s because I NOW have teenage skin.
Splendid effort on the FRIST front! I have to say that my delight in being up in the cockpit was short lived. Silly me. I was stewing over the concept that the pilot thought I was 12, not 21. As for you, may you enjoy years and years and years of teenage skin!
Grass is always greener, right? 🙂
ALWAYS.
I’m thinking it the one two over form you. In the grey cardigan and black skinny jeans. Kelly, I always looked younger than I was. It was glorious. And now – I fear the sun played a trick on me. It once made me look young and healthy and now it has aged me at least five years:(.
ALLIE!!! Yes, the extra ! are necessary. You have special powers. Go and buy a lottery ticket right now. I’ll wait. Ok. Welcome back. You nailed it. The one two over from me in the grey cardigan and black skinny jeans was the one. Truly. Oh man, I’ve got goosebumps. And I’m with you on the sun front. Can’t tell you how many times I lingered outside to get “just a little more colour.” Ouch.
Kelly, I always looked younger than my age growing up and even into my early twenties. Actually, just recently, I went to my brother’s work to pick up craft supplies for a blog post (he is a stock manager at a local craft store) and his co-worker asked him how old his younger sister was? Mind you I am his older not younger sister by 6 years. When he laughed out loud and told her this, she didn’t believe him until we took out our licenses to prove it. So, I guess some thing never completely change around here still! 😉
Oh you’re blessed, Janine. You’re six years older and being asked how much younger? That’s stellar. You’ve reminded me about the time I went garage sale hopping with a friend when our kids were little. One of the venders asked my pal if she was my mother. Good lord. She’s two years older than me. You can imagine how well that went over.
No wonder we are fast internet friends. I had the opposite affliction. There’s something about being an oddball that brings you together with other oddballs. Not that you’re an oddball. Oh dear, you know what I mean I hope. Ends of the bell curve buddies? Nope, that doesn’t work either.
I’ll forever remember being in 8th grade and going to the Gap with my mom to get new sweatpants for my 8th grade basketball team. The friendly clerk asked me where I went to school. I told her. She asked, “What COLLEGE is that?” Dear God, woman, I was an awkwardly tall and obviously older looking 8th grader and wanted to shrink into the floor after that one!
You’re my Julie S! She was two months younger than me and looked a good six years older. I’ll never forget shopping with her and the sales clerk asked me “Are you a boy or a girl?” “What college is that?” Seriously cringeworthy when you’re in grade 8. And yes, I do indeed know what you mean – I am delighted to be a co/oddball, Katy. Delighted.
I can definitely empathize, Kelly. I also looked much younger than my age until recently, apparently, and when I was younger it was irritating. As I’ve gotten older, I haven’t minded so much. Just this summer, I had a former coworker guess that my age was 10 years younger than my actual age (and my husband–who is less than a year older than me–has expressed concern that people will think I’m much younger than him), but I think the past few months must have taken quite a toll on me. At my new job, I am definitely on the older side (which is new for me, as I’m used to being in the middle of the pack), and it apparently shows. When I told a coworker that I’m pretty sure I am the oldest person in our department, she looked at me appraisingly and said, “Probably.” I have to admit that I was disappointed at the response! 🙂
Oh I so understand your response, Donna. However I suspect the poor gal needs glasses. You are right in the prime spot, I’m thinking. In that window of wonder where you look younger and are delighted with it. I mean just months earlier the guess was 10 years younger. Nope – I’d accompany the coworker to the eye doc. I’ll never forget the disappointment I felt when in a bar celebrating a friend’s daughter’s 21st and one of her friends hugged me and said “you could be my mom.” Ouch. My two were 5 and 6.
I ALWAYS tell young-looking people they’ll appreciate it when they get older (like, really old, like middle aged) because they’ll spend much less money on elixirs and serums to keep them looking young. They always grimace, like they’ve heard it before (which I get).
Of course they grimace. I would have too. However your motivation that it’ll keep them away from the magic elixirs is a wise one.
Hey friend I along with two of my daughters have had the opposite problem. Being taller seems to add age. I remember being asked for ID at fairs – youth passes and age requirement on rides back in the day – however the benefit later in life was not being asked for ID ?. I always envied people such as yourself that had the “gift” of lokking younger. Guess Mom was right, you always are looking for so,ething you do not have, height, weight, hair, eye color etc., etc.
By the way you look great for 63 ???
Aw thank you, Janice. I AM looking forward to being able to take advantage of the seniors discount on BC Ferries in two years. :))
Yes, indeed looking older must have been a drudge,too. You were also my Julie S. She looked a good six years older than me and she was actually two months younger. I was so jealous.
Maybe it is a height thing? I was always mistaken for being much younger than I was as well. A bit of an issue, when as a seasoned nurse, family members were still asking, “Are your really old enought to be taking care of my mom?” Sort of delightful in my 30’s though, when I was still being carded occasionally. (Sadly, nobody makes that mistake anymore!)
Susan – you’ve reminded me of the one friend I had who also looked young. In her first case as a lawyer the judge actually asked “which one’s the lawyer?” Can you imagine? Yes, I suspect you can. I bet being short does play into it. I too was still carded occasionally into my 30s. And yes, not any more! Although I will admit to a slight flutter every time I approach the counter with my wine. Old habits die hard.
I do admit that I like it more now.
I remember going to the roller rink with a bunch of friends and a cute boy was talking to all of us about how old we looked. To me he said, “You. You look seven. Should you even be here?”
I was crushed at the time (and 15), but decided to let it be a compliment one day. haha.
Ohhhhhh I can relate. “You look seven.” Yup. Heard that often enough. Treasure it now, Tamara. I blinked and suddenly looked my age.
That must have seriously sucked. I am still laughing HARD about the cockpit story! My son keeps asking me what’s so funny! I can’t believe that happened! And a redo of LTYM must have been amazing… so cool.
Oh it was such a treat to be there in that cockpit with all the other 12 years olds. I must say. Ha! And yes, it was really great to do the LTYM redo. We were very blessed.
I smile at this for all my failed attempts at getting into ANYTHING underage. I’ve always looked younger than I am. My current job? My new boss encouraged me to join the youth network. A great suggestion and a good way to meet folks. But I’m 38. I’m getting a bit curious about when “youth” ends.
You made me grin. Hugely. That’s funny. I encourage you to treasure the looking youthful, Louise. I blinked and found myself suddenly looking my age.
OH my gosh Kelly- this is SO funny and one of your most entertaining posts EVER. I love your humor.. the cockpit story had me literally LOLing. Bless YOU! And now I will wonder which little darling was ‘your daughter’ and who asked that lovely innocent question?
You rock the PINK. Just sayin’.
Thanks, Chris. It’s the one two up from me. I was standing in the kitchen chatting and someone I didn’t know turned away from the sink and said “Oh is she your daughter?” Why yes. I did have my first at 10.
Unfortunately, I was one who did look older than I was. I was able to order my beer at the tender age of 15. Some things mother needs to know haha! Of course, now I feel like I look 80 at 45 haha!
Yeah – I think we should all be treated to a week or so at the local spa. Wouldn’t that be a treat?
I was 5’9″ tall by sixth grade, so people always thought I was older. I don’t think I really looked older, but the height threw them off. I love that picture of you and the other ladies on Bainbridge – what a fun event! I had a “baby-faced” friend, and everyone thought she was my much younger sister – it made her so mad. She still looks much younger than me, and reminds me all the time!
My friend Julie S was also 5’9″ by grade six. She and I must have made quite the pair.I suspect your “younger sister” will catch up in time, Lana. I seem to have blinked and poof! suddenly look my age. Yes, Bainbridge was amazing. I had quite the “typiKel” time finding IslandWood as I went through Kingston. Had to stop three times and ask for directions however everyone could not have been friendlier or more helpful.
LOL @ the bunion. We’ve talked about that before. I’ve been working some Marine Corps Balls with my husband and I wear a suit and look fancy except when you look down and my feet. Fortunatley I am the cashier and nobody can see my feet until I get up and walk around. For the most part the ladies are jealous because I am comforable and they are not. I was a baby face too. Fat cheeks for a long time. I think they disappeared right around age 26. Around age 24 my brother’s Marine recruiter came to the house. My brother who is seven years younger was in the 12th grade. When he came over to the house to meet my parent and discuss my brother going into the Marine Corps he asked me what grade I was in and what my plans were after graduation. I was thoroughly annoyed!
Oh you made me grin, Kenya. “What grade are you in and what are your plans post graduation.” Classic. That is exactly like me. I wonder if it goes hand in hand with having a bunion. Ha! Now there’s a research project.
I’m almost 45 now and still sad about cashiers not carding me for alcohol. That stopped about 7ish years ago.
Oh you’re blessed to be carded so long, Kenya.
I USED to look young for my age. I was carded all the time. But then I hit 28 and I guess I started looking my age. Ahh well. It was fun while it lasted.
My kids look pretty young. Natalie is 8 and people think she’s 5 or 6.
It’ll be interesting to see if your kids continue to look younger, Amber.
Ooooooh Kelly! Finally someone with a story like mine! I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been exasperated about my age being misunderstood! One hilarious time early on was when i was in grade 6 – and had to study in a boarding school. The nun in charge drew me on to her lap and gave me a chocolate and spoke soothingly – I was crying of course, at being left there. Got over that one quickly, but back to the nun. After some small talk about where I was from and my family and stuff, she asked me which grade I was in. When i said 6, she couldn’t get me off her lap quickly enough. She thought I was a first grader. Enough said. Ugh. Went through those trust issues as well – at work.
Even now, people don’t believe me when I tell them how old I am. Except now, it is amusing.
Such fun to read your post, Kelly!
Oh poor you! I’ll bet you were extremely puzzled as to why she tumbled you off of her lap. You’re lucky to still look younger. For the first time last week I was asked if I wanted the Seniors Discount. Uh. No.
I stink at guessing people’s ages (in fact I have a blog post idea in my drafts folder on just that topic), and I suspect most people are. When I was 29 and worked at a girls’ high school, one of the students thought I was 40. I was appalled, and then I realized that she thought anyone over the age of 21 was at least 40. Kids.
I think I look my age, but every once in awhile people will think I’m the younger sister, when I’m really three years old. That makes me happy, but don’t tell my sister!
I won’t tell your sister. It’ll be our little secret.
Loved this Kelly! And for what it’s worth I think you look like a peer to all the wome in that photo , not one of their mothers. People need filters and glasses! When I was 17, going into my freshman year at college and a camp counselor at a day camp, one of the senior staff members would check us in every morning as we got off the bus and headed to our groups. One day she said to me: Mimi, I almost miss you because I think you’re one of the campers! The oldest children there were 9! And they were my campers. One was taller than me. The following summer they placed me with the 6 and 7 year olds, a much better fit. 🙂 With you,my friend!
Aw – you are kind. Thank you, Mimi. Laughing here about the campers being 9 and you 17. Being mistaken for one of them is exactly the sort of thing that would have happened to me.
That cockpit story is my new favorite Typikel. Absolutely hilarious! My husband looks very young for his age (exact same age as me). More than a few time people have said – when we were standing side by side, “Gee, Peter, you look way to young to be a grandfather.” Unsaid message: “Your wife on the other hand….”
Mo – just last week I was asked for the first time ever if I wanted the Seniors Discount. HELP.
I think I always ‘looked my age’ as a child, but my Mother….well that was another story. My Mom was 16 when I was born so she has always looked ‘to young’ to have a child my age….which…was fine when I was a child. As I grew older…..many thought Mom and I were sisters! I think I was 18 when a boy I was hoping to date saw my Mother…..and asked if I thought my sister would go out with him! OUCH! Years later with Mom in her 70’s and looking fabulous and me in my 50’s and looking….well, I’m really not sure how I’m holding up….people still mistake us for sisters. So is Mom still looking too young to have a daughter my age or am I looking to old to have a mother so young…..LOL!
Now you really should write about that – being mistaken for sisters with your mom. That would be quite a read.