Has your little one skillfully mastered the art of the balance bike? Excellent. You’ve a couple of lovely cycling years ahead. May I offer up a word or two of advice? At the very least: I suggest looking into core strengthening exercises, the art of gardening without fish fertilizer and perhaps an anger management class or six.
Now, I bet the concept of your angel clambering behind the wheel of your minivan and zooming into traffic seems eons away. And you might be right (see #1 below). However, your child will learn to drive. One day. So, you need to arm yourself with a modicum of prep. Now.
With my 21 year-old daughter having achieved her license last summer and my 19 year-old son scheduled to take his road test within the month, my stint as a survivor is sparklingly fresh. I consider myself more than qualified to offer up the top ten driving lesson survival tips. My background also includes the added bonus of personally flipping our Volkswagen beetle upside down in the garden of aging neighbors when I was learning to drive! Magical.
You can rest assured that I’ve been happily accident free for years now.
Top Ten Driving Lesson Survival Tips
1. It’s a different era. Expect ’em not to get their license until they’re 30.
Ok smug parents of a fully licensed and driving 16 year-old, I salute you. You’ve beaten the odds.
We live in different times. For a variety of reasons Millenials are learning to drive much later than their parents did. Check out this 2012 Huff Post piece for details.
2. Book A Set of Lessons
In my part of the world it’s near to impossible to book a road test within the next six months. Unless you book it through a driving school. They’ve gobbled up all of the available times.
Request that the driver be picked up from home. Besides the obvious fact that driving schools are never in your neighborhood, you get to enjoy the awkward initial meet and greet between teacher and student from the privacy of your living room.
3. Hold The First Learn By Parent Lesson In A Deserted Parking Lot
Your learner needs to practise. I’m sorry but it’s inevitable. Ensure that Junior has read the prerequisite driving book at least twice. It’s full of wonderful, lifesaving tips. Drive to the most deserted parking lot in your neighborhood and hand over the keys. Expectations at this stage include revving of the engine multiple times, excessive surging of the vehicle and heart stopping halts.
4. Accept That The Passenger Seat Offers Up A Whole New Perspective
This gem is especially important once you’re bold enough your student is confident enough to tackle traffic. Parked cars seem dangerously close? Everyone else is excessively speeding? Your right foot keeps pumping the brakeless floor by your seat? Welcome to my world.
5. Use Your Words
Manifest cringing, grabbing of the passenger door handle and slamming your feet on the floor in a silent but futile attempt at braking are inevitable. And less than helpful.
6. Expect The Unexpected
Note how my son has managed to illegally strand us on a tiny island of safety between a busy intersection and a speeding train. He should not have driven across the tracks but he did. Now we cannot move due to a red light ahead of us and an excessively long and screeching train behind us.
Bonus marks achieved if the police are not present.
7. Always Bring Your Cell Phone
To capture those charming unexpected moments such as #6 above.
8. Expect A Plethora of Cursing
Those swear words you intentionally forgot when your child was an impressionable three year-old? They’ll all come flooding back. In a trice. New and creative ones will also surface.
9. Expect To Be Taught By Your Children
“You didn’t shoulder check.”
“You’re going 40 in the 30 K (we’re Canadian) school zone”
“Mom, why didn’t you turn on your turn indicator?”
There’s nothing more annoying than a keener than keen learner. I suggest earplugs.
10. Book A Set of Lessons
No matter when you got your license you’ll have forgotten key safety tips and rules of the road. Do your learner a favor. Book them a set of lessons. Now. You’ll be sparing them a lot of grief when it comes time to do the road test. They might just pass on their very first try.
Before you know it, they’ll be driving their 92 year-old grandmother out for lunch. The above is visible proof that both will survive. But that’s another story for another day …
Enough about my top ten driving lesson survival tips. I’m curious about you. Have you experienced the horrors delights of teaching your child to drive? What would you say is the number one key to survival? Wine, gin, scotch or? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
49 Responses
I’m saving this one for a few years, but sending it to my sister right now!
Oh thank you, Jena! May she find it useful.
This brought up some better-forgotten memories for me! Such a necessary rite of passage – for both parents and their kids! I would add that not just will your kids critique your driving, but so will all those newly licensed friends of theirs. Good luck to your son – and you too! The hardest part for me what handing over the keys and that first solo drive…
Oh now that is a joy I’ve yet to experience. The friends of the kidlets offering up a word or two of advice. Yikes. I think I’d find it hard to keep my mouth shut. I’ll make sure I crank up the tunes when they’re in the car with me. Unlike those endless fieldtrips where I’d gradually lower the tunes so I could eavesdrop … 🙂
Congratulations to your son, well done and to you too for surviving teaching 2 children to drive ! It is indeed a nail biting experience, and I agree with it being best left to the professionals !! Oh my, stranded by the train, you must have been sweating buckets !! The best part is now your days of driving them to and fro their many activities is finally over , you can put on your pj’s early and have a glass of wine, as you don’t have to go out late to retrieve them !!
Oh, Jane you’ve no idea. At the start of the train incident the two of us were silent. Dead silent. We avoided eye contact until I muttered “well, this is a first.” Oh man it was quite something. I took a photo with H actually in it and fired it off to M. Immediate response from her and the promise that she’s keeping it to show at his wedding. And yes, here’s to relaxing with a glass of wine in our pj’s. Although I do miss walking around and around and around that oval at Cariboo HS with you …
I survived teaching three boys how to drive. Each one presented different challenges, but I have to admit I’ve NEVER been caught that close to a train. How frightening!
Three boys? I salute you, Kathy. Full marks. Yes – that train incident will go down in the books … I fired off a pic to his sister and she responded immediately. Keeping the photo for his future wedding …
Sweet photo at the end. Our oldest waited till he got his license — almost 17. I remember being down there on my 16th birthday. Our 14 yo already has dad taking her up to the high school parking for lessons. I bet she’ll be there on her 15th birthday to get her learner’s. I’ll have to read that Huff Po article. I couldn’t figure out why our oldest wasn’t racing down to the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) the moment he turned 15. Here you have to wait a year from getting your learner’s with a written test before you can take your actual test. It is quite terrifying. But he’s actually a very safe (and slow) driver. I love to have him drive for me on trips, though we don’t have the chance to do that often. Good luck mama. And the only place I’ve heard with the long wait times is California. A college friend of mine posted on FB that she waited with her 16yo — 7 hours. Yes, 7 hours so she could take her test on her 16th birthday.
It’s the same here, Jamie. You now have to wait at least a year before you can take your actual road test. But you can’t get your learner’s until you’re 16 and pass that written test. Your pal waited 7 hours? Was that for the written or the actual driving test? Either way, she’s one great mom.
I’m not hyperventilating. I’m not I’m not I’m not. My step daughter still doesn’t have her license and she just turned 21. It never seemed important to her. So so glad that you survived a police-free incident and that your son and your mom made it out alive. Hilarious and informative post, Kelly!!!
That’s the kernel of the whole driving situation, it seems. Theres’s less of an importance to it now, I think. Maybe due to the fact that it’s easy to get around without a car? Hmmm. My son had to bus home last night at 12:00. I suspect he’ll put even more of an effort into his lessons now. May we continue to be spared from trains …
Thanks for bringing back memories from long ago. I have to say, I let out a big gasp when I saw the photo of you so close to the train. Oh my…
WOW!!! I had no idea that not owning a car (or not driving) was a trend! Although my son learned how to drive when he was 15 and got his license at 16, he still doesn’t own a car (never had the desire to) and he is 35 yrs. now. He lives in Minneapolis and works in the city so he either walks or takes public transport. My niece is 35 also and the same way (although she lives in NYC so that seems logical). Very interesting Huff post article. thanks!
Yes, that train episode was rather special, Elda. Truly. We didn’t speak for the first minute or so. Just sat there in disbelief.
One more tip: Don’t yell at the one who’s learning or start an argument with them. It makes them a lot more insecure. I had enough of that when learning to drive to know it’s not good. If you can’t avoid it, get someone else to teach them.
Yes – that’s a really good point. My dad used to yell “INCH” at me in intersections. It was really something. Mind you, once I rolled the car he signed me up for lessons …
I didn’t roll the car, but his brother who was a driving instructor at the time conviced him that I was more than ready for lessons.
Oh! You were blessed to not roll the car. Me? Not so lucky …
I am thrilled to hear that not getting their license early is a trend! My son is two years away from being eligible to drive and he can’t even remember to take his lunch to school, how on earth will he remember the rules of the road?!
Wonderful advice as always Kel, thank you!
Grinning here over the neglecting to take his lunch to school. Yep – I remember those days. My daughter could tell me at two where her brother’s shoes were. He didn’t have a clue at 15 …
Great tips! I shall print this and hand this over to my kids when they teach ME how to drive when they turn 18. Looks like I’m from an entirely different time… *hangs head in shame.
😉
So you don’t drive, Jhanis? Take heart – I have a pal who learned at 50.
No, I tried to learn when I was in college. The friend who was trying to teach me nearly had a heart attack because I drove past a red light due to panic. Never tried again! hahahaha
According to #1, I have a good 25 years or so before I even have to worry! But still, now I know why my parents did have me take extra lessons after reading #10! Seriously, loved this Kelly and definitely made me smile!! 😉
You are indeed blessed, Janine. Enjoy those 25 years … may they not drive you crazy.
I was laughing out loud all the way through this Kelly! Especially the picture at the railroad tracks! That is one part of my life I am so glad is completely over! I have a son and a daughter in their 20’s and I really didn’t think I would survive it. My daughter especially the very first day we took her out on the road (We don’t have driving schools where we lived you were on your own to teach them on country curvy roads) I rode in the back and her dad rode in the front she is driving our blazer when she barrels into the driveway after 2 hours of hell driving every back road in the county and slams right into the side of my husband’s pickup truck. Two cars at once the insurance company loved us!!!!
Noooooooooooooo! Oh my word. That is quite something, Rena. She smacked into your husband’s pickup truck? How is she not my daughter? ;)) Yes, the insurance company must have loved you. Two family cars in one go. That’s quite a feat. The first time my son got behind the wheel he was doing fine until he rounded that corner about 40 minutes in and inexplicably surged, zoomed, full throttled it towards a parked car. Managed to slam on the brakes and somehow stop within the thickness of a paint layer from slamming into it. My throat hurt for a day and a half after …
Hi Kelly! I’ve been trying to figure out why I am not getting your posts by email. When I go to sign up it says that there is an error every time I try. Can you sign me up for it? [email protected] I would appreciate it, thanks!
Golly I had a similar problem when I tried to sign you in. Would you be able to contact the Jetpack for WordPress folk and let them know? You can contact them at http://jetpack.me/contact-support/ In the meantime, I’ll send it to you myself every time I post. Does that work?
I contacted them Kelly I’ll let you know when I hear something.
Fantastic. Thanks, Rena!
I just remember my mother plastering herself against the passenger door…as I was backing out of the driveway.
I didn’t learn to drive until I was 17, and my parents also didn’t let me drive around any friends until I’d had my license without accidents for 6 months. It was a good rule!
Oh, I like that no driving with pals until you’re 6 months accident free! And yes, I can quite sympathise with your mother plastering up against the passenger door. I do find myself doing that when we’re tootling along narrowish streets.
That usually elicits a “MOM – we’re MILES from the other cars …” from my son.
Oh my goodness Kelly….I too flipped a vehicle upside down, many years ago. I did it on my 23rd birthday. I was alone…no one else was involved or hurt…unless you count the poor Halloween pumpkin in my trunk. lOL! The car I was driving….was exactly 3 months old and we had waited 4 months to get the dang thing. My hubby swears that I really never like that car…. As to my son, I was lucky enough that they were still offering a summer driving course through his high school when it came time for him to learn to drive. Still….handing him those keys and watching him take off on that first solo drive made me weak in the knees to say the least…..
I remember you mentioning your flipping experience, Debbie. Golly we were both lucky to be escape unscathed ‘eh? Yours is tough as that car was only 3 months old. Ouch. Did the flipping seem like slow motion to you? Or did it zoom by quickly? And yes, I’m kind of dreading the moment when I have to relinquish the keys …
Smug parent here! My kid got her license the first day she possibly could. In Maryland, driver’s ed is mandatory, and that includes three in-car sessions with an instructor. It’s so much less stressful to have someone else teach your kid! That’s my tip. 🙂
Oh my gosh I am laughing so hard at this post!! And that pic trapped in between the railroad and the stop light? PERFECT photo op!!! Totally going with the new fad of driving LATER in life… 20 sounds good for my kids… maybe 30. 😉
Thanks, Chris. Being marooned between the red light and the zooming train was indeed special. I am SO glad I had my phone with me. NO ONE would believe it otherwise… And yes, 30 sounds like a splendid time to begin researching driving lessons for your kids …
Holy Moly! My youngest already critiques my driving and he’s only 5! He always wants to know how fast I’m driving and then he points out the speed limit. Or he gets mad because I”m not passing the cars in front of us on a one-lane road!!
Oh you’re in hot water already, Rabia. I’m sensing you’ve got an alert little budding driver on your hands. He’s 5 and he’s already doing all of this? Wow. You might want to discretely don a pair of ear buds …?
Oh Kelly – I’m alternately cringing and grinning. It’s funny how one’s foot automatically knows how to work the break especially well when in the passenger seat isn’t it?
I’m still holding out for a world where we teleport and no driving is necessary – think of how much stress that will eliminate.
Yes, Deborah, teleporting will be wonderful. My son and I are working our way through the Harry Potter series again and marvel at the wonders of floo powder. How grand it would be if we could toss a little floo and magical reappear miles away!
I’m still scarred from my father teaching me to drive on a {gasp} stick shift in the 80s. They don’t have those anymore, right?
I can barely teach my oldest, 11, how to open plastic packages like the ones that chips come in (he must have been asleep when they worked on fine motor skills in preschool and kindergarten). I’m definitely hiring someone to teach him to drive, but I guess I know now that i better queue up for that!
I learned on a stick shift too! They do still have them. My pal’s son learned on one and I do wish my kids could too. Should they ever want to rent a car in Europe I suspect they’ll require that skill. And I, too, was napping during the fine motor skills portion of preschool and kindergarten. You know what, Katy? I’m beginning to think that our height is just about the only difference you and I have …
Agreed, Kelly!
I think this was the thing I was dreading the most when my boys entered the teen years. My older son was a natural at driving and learned very quickly. The younger one…not so much. I still worry about him every time he goes out. Love your humorous take on this subject – we may as well laugh through the terror, right? BTW, I’m sorry I’ve been MIA. After I get back from my Texas trip I’ll be back to visit and catch up!
Yes, Lana! Love that you get that we may as well laugh through the terror. Have a wonderful trip!
Forever grateful my lovely boy was dying to get his license at 15. I never saw our “Type B” kid so motivated. The driving school required an 80% grade and 100% attendance to pass, and then 50 hours of driving with a parent in the car in order to qualify for the written exam. And he still gives me a heart attack when he’s driving.
One thing I would add to this list: show them every scary traffic incident video that comes up on social media, followed by a frantic “don’t do THAT.” Sooo helpful.
Oh you made me smile. Yup – with you one the scary traffic incident videos. Never forget my nephew (now 33) coming home from school reporting being given a talk by an accident victim – the person who caused the accident. They apparently brought the crunched car in and boy did that ever have an impact. As for my son, he bumped up against the curb two days ago as we were tootling along. Tire ok so far. Made such a delightful, high pitched squeal sound that jolted my lad rather severely. I didn’t have to say a peep. Thank you, tire.