If you could, would you go back to being 14? I sure as hell wouldn’t. I suppose it didn’t help that I started at a new school in the beginning of grade nine. Being the new girl meant that no one was used to any of my quirky Just TypiKel ways.
- Revisit 14? I don’t think so.
Top Ten Tips For Surviving Fourteen
If I could arm 14 year-old Kelly with a few survival tips on how to survive being fourteen here’s what I’d advise.
1. Avoid The Artwork
My sister, who’d already been attending this Catholic girls school for two years, urged me to make friends with this certain girl who was in my class. Ok then. In my attempt to sit beside said girl at lunch on the very first day I somehow managed to brush a painting on the wall, causing it to dislodge and smack her on the head. She got woozy and scarily pale. Feverish apologies replaced my sizzling introduction.
2. Watch Where You Step
Just a few days later in our very first sewing class, my foot stepped on someone’s plastic pin box, cracking the lid, sending dozens of straight pins shooting about the room. Fortunately no one was stabbed but pins kept resurfacing months later.
3. Model No One’s Sewing Project
As regular readers know I didn’t get the sewing gene. I’m sadly gifted at affixing my pant leg to the brownie banner while hand sewing on my daughter’s brownie badges. Back when I was 14, a few months after the pin incident, I foolishly agreed to model another student’s just completed dress. (Side note: Everyone else made 4 things that year while I barely finished an apron). It was a weensy bit snug through the neckline so I gave it a more than gentle tug and tore the fabric. She had to completely redo a major portion.
4. Don’t Agree To Go To Someone’s Birthday Party A Year Early
Patty – huge, huge apologies to you. I still cringe over this one. Patty moved to another school at the end of grade nine. However, for some reason several of us agreed to come to her birthday party that upcoming fall. She remembered, we didn’t. On the day of the party her mother called my house begging me to come over. I had other plans as did all of the other guests. Just the thought of Patty sitting at home surrounded by balloons and uneaten food makes me teary.
5. Relax. One Day You Will Be Asked To Dance
I looked 10 in grade nine. No wonder none of the fellow at the boys school were eager to ask me to dance. Or perhaps it was my carefully chosen plaid skirt and heavy sweater? Or perhaps the blue eye shadow that covered my entire eye lid up to my brow? The latter was thanks to the efforts of my “make up savvy” sister. Nice one, Wend. Thanks.
6. Rethink the Lemon Perfume
My scent of choice at 14 was called Lemon Up. One squirt and you were transported to a cutting board drenched in juice. But rest assured. Not for me the quickest of spritzes. Nope. I doused myself with it. The more lemon the better.
7. You’ll Be Glad You Aren’t Fond of Smoking
That inability to stop coughing on inhale? I never got over that. Thank God.
8. You’ll Never Be Basketball Material. But Don’t Fret. The School Play Is More Your Thing
I blame my paternal grandmother for my lack of height. She, too, didn’t top 5 foot 2. However, had I done so, I might never have been picked for the lead in the school play I Remember Mama. I played Katrin, one of three young daughters of a Norwegian family living in San Francisco. The play originally opened on Broadway in 1944. And NO. I wasn’t 14 in 1944. Thank you very much.
9. One Day Your Mom Will Completely Forget That You Hosted The Grade Nine Class Party
Guaranteed my darling 92 year-old mom will read this and be a bit puzzled. No worries, Mom, it’s a good thing that you’ve forgotten how upset dad was to find Rob Andrews climbing in through the basement window with a six-pack tucked under his arm and that some of the other guests cracked open that vat of Mr. Cazzaro’s homemade wine …
10. Relax. One Day You’ll Be Thrilled To Look Much Younger Than You Are
If I worried about one thing at 14, it was that I looked 10. Guess what? I don’t see looking younger than your age as such an all-consuming problem anymore.
This post was inspired by the Finish The Sentence Friday prompt of “When I Was Fourteen …”As always, our host is the lovely Kristi . Today’s guest hosts are Dana of Kiss My List and Kerri of Undiagnosed But Okay.
Enough about me and my top ten tips for surviving fourteen. I’m curious about you? How was your fourteenth year? Did you sail through unscathed as one of the popular kids? Or were you more like an awkward waif like me? Do you still have pals that you made when you were 14? Or have you abandoned that time of life and embraced the present? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
58 Responses
I also moved in the middle of my freshman year of high school and definitely had a few traumatic moments myself, because of that. Oh and like you I always looked younger than my age and as much as I hated this back then, now at almost 40, I am just plain thankful for this, too! 😉
Janine – my mom always said to me “you’ll love it when you’re older.” I was always so upset that I looked so young. Everyone else looked 18. Or so I thought. However, yes, like you, it doesn’t bother me one bit now!
I remember hanging out at the mall with my best friend. We always had fake names and were always two years older than we actually were. Since I turned 40, I’m stuck at 40. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want to remember that I’m creeping towards 45 or that it doesn’t matter. I lol’d the first three on your list. I was also new to my high school – starting from scratch for finding new friends. On the first or second day I had had an eye appoint and went to school with my eyes still dilated and no sunglasses. I had to squint my eyes really tight to see. I remember that I had on gray pants and a white blouse. I bumped into someone at lunch while I was holding a can of Hawaiian punch. I think I took the brunt of the juice but it wasn’t a great first impression.
Oh Kenya I feel your pain of trying to navigate with dilated eyes. And on the first or second day at a new school. Of course you were holding a can of Hawaiian punch. Brutal. Reminds me of Notting Hill and Hugh Grant rounding the corner with a full orange juice in hand and bumping smack into Julia Roberts.
Grinned over the fact that you and your pal always were two years older and had fake names. My best pal and I started a tradition of using the name “Schwartz” as our reservation name at restaurants. She came to visit this past Christmas and it was with great delight that we shouted “Schwartz” to the poor hostess at the front desk of the restaurant. We’ve been using that name for over 30 years now. No idea why we chose it but it sure has stuck.
OMG to the boy crawling in through your window carrying beer (bless him) and to the blue eyeshadow and to the parents not knowing and to your poor sweet friend who was waiting for you at her party! My sewing projects were finished in 8th grade after the I got a D for not ever finishing my stupid pillow. So in high school, I was already known as the one who couldn’t do any type of home ec.
It was quite something being 14 and no, I truly would not want to revisit it. I do think that you and I would have been kicked out of home ec together. How was your typing? I got kicked out of typing class in grade 12 …
Oh Kelly, I was the youngest in my group and looked it! I hated it. They got their learners permits and driver’s licenses before me, and all the upper classmen took notice. Me? I looked like somebody’s middle school sister. I remember my mom told me to relax. “You’ll also be the last one to turn forty.” Damn if she wasn’t right.
Wise, wise words from your mom. It is such torture looking young when you are young. Wish I’d relished it more then but that really wasn’t in the cards. The worst for me was when I went to try on some clothes at a local department store and the delightful salesperson asked “Are you a girl or a boy?” Charming. Did SO much for my confidence.
No awkward waif here, thank you very much. Try awkward behemoth. Yes, at a staggering 5’11” I was taller than 99% of everyone until Junior year when some, but not all, of the boys finally started to grow. I swear I attacked my husband senior year simply because he was taller than me!
OH Katy. You sound just like my lovely niece Caity. She was the same. She channelled her height challenges into track and field and found solace in the high jump. Those “average” heighted folks really do take their situation for granted I suspect. All works out in the end for us, but going through it we sure don’t think so. You and I should invent a fast forward button to allow folks to zip into the future for a wee peak and then return. You in?
There’s no way I’d go back to being 14, either! My junior high school held grades 7, 8, and 9 so in theory I should have been ‘top dog’. Not being socially inclined back then, though, I spent most of the time trying to avoid the limelight.
Oh Kathy I so, so understand that. It is a hellish, hellish time for all but a few.
I remember crushing on a senior boy for most of my freshman year – we had the same classroom for English and he used to leave me notes in my journal (the teacher stored them in the back of the room). It was flirty and exciting and I was head over heels, but it was not to be. Other than that, I remember my 14th year as pretty uneventful – I blended in with the crowd, which was fine with me.
You’ve reminded me of my 12 year old crush on a senior. He did Math 12 for some reason in our Math 7 class and was so funny. I was over the moon when he chucked me in the trash bin. TRULY. He went on to have a high profile career on radio and tv as a money wise guy and I grin everytime I see or hear him.
Abby is always upset when people thinks she is younger than she is, I always remind her when she is older it will be a compliment. Her response? But mom you do look old.
Hahahahah! Oh that is just delightful, is it not? Take heart. From where I stand you look extraordinarily youthful and alive.
I turned 14 in 10th grade (I started school young:) – and it was not my favorite year!!! Thankfully I discovered cross country and the fact that running was my thing!!!
Yes! That was me and the world of drama. Theatrical performances that is – not highschool hysterics.
Oh that year was the worst! I had a “best friend” who liked to compare weight and talk about fingernail and hair care. I had such a hard time with my social circle in junior high for some reason. The following year was better.
Completely with you on that mysterious need to natter on about fingernail and hair care. Didn’t get into that until much later. How grand that the following year was better for you. Somehow we always manage to find our right people, don’t we?
HA! Those are wise words indeed Kelly!! Oh, I could picture all of these scenes play out!! The pins, the rips in fabric, the sneaking in with the six pack and the lovely fashion sense- oh SO funny!! You sound like you were pretty harmless in your teens… good for you!! Me? Not so much. 😉
Yes I was a late bloomer in the harmful teen department, Chris. Might have been soooo much wiser if I’d let loose at 14.
No way I’d go back to being 14. I was gawky, awkward and a tomboy. I wasn’t very good at school, except for English composition, which we only did once a week on a Tuesday. Then without warning in the October, my Dad died. I was an only child, but had to leave school and get a job to support my semi-invalid mother. Childhood gone in one fell swoop. I’d go back to being 12 though 🙂
Ok so please tell me that this is a Lyn finish-the-story-of-the photo example. Or is it true?
Oh no, it’s no finish-the-story, Kelly, it’s absolutely-dutely the truth. I’m playing catch up with my dream of being a writer – not that I’ve written much lately 🙁
Oh Lyn, I am sorry. It must have been hell. Wow. Keep plugging away at that dream. You can do this!
Thanks, Kelly. Yep, it was hard, but it made me stronger for what was ahead – raising three children on my own from the time they were 1, 3 and 5.
Believing in my dream isn’t easy, but I entered my novel in an unpublished MS competition and it was short listed and then made the finalist list of one of 6 out 86 entries. So I live in hope 🙂
Oh Lyn, I do understand somewhat. I raised my two from 16 months and 3 on my own. How wonderful that your novel has that success behind it. Keep, keep pushing indeed.
This is great Kelly. I love that you can look back at your 14 year old self with humor and compassion. I’m sure some of it was mortifying at the time! I must tell you that as I read the one about Lemon Up, your Instagram feed displayed a lovely photo of a lemon — how did you plan that?!
Thanks, Lisa. I have to say that a fair bit of it was beyond embarrassing at the time but makes for good fodder for stories today. As for the simultaneous popping up of the lemon – must have been my angels at work again. Bless ’em.
Oh dear – I don’t think 14 was very kind to me. I had the opposite problem – I was 5’9″ by the time I was in sixth grade, so I was the tall awkward kid. I think by 14 a few of the boys were finally starting to catch up in height, but there wasn’t a lot of dancing for me either!
My best pal at the time was 5′ 9″, Lana. I remember she was always being told to “stand up straight!” Not easy for us shorties and you tallies at 14.
Oh this brings back many high school memories ! I get the sense that we would have been friends then too. I had a wonderful group of friends ( several of who are still friends) , but we were very far from the ” cool kids” , quite the opposite in fact. However, we had a great time in our own uncool world, so wouldn’t change a thing !
Exactly. We also had a hoot in our own uncool world, Jane. And yes, I suspect we would have been friends at 14. But I don’t think I care to go back and find out …
Oh, how I appreciated being able to read your memories of being 14! For some reason, I have no memories of my childhood or teenage years. This was nice to read yours.
I have a pal, Elda, who can’t remember anything before her 8th birthday so I do understand and appreciate your comment. Thank you.
I think I purposely have forgotten almost everything about being 14. I, too, started a new school and as a painfully shy teenager, it was rough. But, on the very first day, I did meet Ellie who is still one of my closest and dearest friends so I guess it wasn’t all bad!
Was that your Catholic girls school experience as well, Mo?
love these! i am not going to lie, 14 was a tough year. i have no desire to go back. it was just very confusing for me…
Yep – I think that’s true for the majority of us, Becky. Once 14 is done, we’re happy to keep on mooooving! Thanks for popping by and leaving a comment.
I have to admit, I am devastated for poor Patty. That is one of my secret fears: that nobody will show up to my party (and now I fear it for my kids, although there’s little chance of that happening today with email and evite and text messages). But the idea makes me quake and cringe. And you have never forgotten it! Which shows what a good friend you are.
I loved reading about your Just Typikel 14-year-old experiences, Kelly. Thank you!
Oh I know. Poor Patty. Honestly, Nicki. If I could go back in time to correct that horrid injustice, I would. If that had EVER happened to my daughter? Oh man. However, I think you hit the nail on the head with the fact that it probably wouldn’t what with email, evite and test messages. Still.
Considering the fact that I thought I left a comment here when I first read this – but apparently only wrote it in my mind … it is a miracle I can even remember back to when I was 14! Your stories reminded me of my own experiences – but had I suffered through #1 or #2, I might have never gone back to school! It is amazing any of us survive the teen years!
Sussan – I had coffee with a pal on the weekend and … I couldn’t remember the first name of my grandnephew! Oh man. I did remember after a bit but still. The fact that you remembered to pop by and leave a message here is good. Thank you for that! And I ‘m with you – it is amazing any of us survive the teen years!
Oh my Kelly – you totally had me rolling on the floor with this one. Age 14 is such a graceless time. I think it’s intentionally placed into our lifetimes just so we can look back and see how fabulous we’ve become in comparison. And trust me, I think even at my advanced age now I’ll steer away from standing too near the art work or modeling someone else’s clothes – you just can’t be too careful!
14 is such a graceless time. Great way to put it. You’ve got me grinning over the concept of it never being too late to stay away from the artwork and from modeling someone else’s clothes. So, so true.
Argh! Ninth-grade flashbacks! And I have you to blame, Kelly. It’s all because of you. 😛
Grinning here, Harmony. Oh I am sorry. May those flashbacks faaaaaadddddeeeeeeeee.
Can you be any more fun? Really, Kelly. I read, connect, and then somehow get a blast back. And you know, I like it. Fourteen for me meant the running high jump. I had little coordination, but you know what–when I was 14, that was my world. Trying to get over that pole. It got me through middle school. (I know. I’m shaking my head about the kind of stuff you bring forth in my mind. ) Scissors kick. So, I’m betting ten dollars you did a little track and field. Did you?
Yes – I do understand that “trying to get over that pole …” My niece was six feet at 14 and she had no trouble at all … Me? Ouch. And yes, I was in track and field. Sprinting was my thing. Although we had limited training time. I remember running my first race in borrowed spikes. First time I’d used spikes actually and the result wasn’t unexpected. Gripping. Dead last.
I knew it. We were on the team together! Dead last is finishing. That’s a win. (Adore you, Kelly.)
Thank you, Susan. You NEVER fail to brighten my day. Ciao!
Young teens are terrible at estimating how much scent they need. For a while with boys it was Axe body spray and junior high halls reeked to high heaven with the stuff–Axe had to rethink their advertising campaigns as it had become the official smell of desperate loser.
Such an interesting point, Scott. I’d not thought of that. Thank you.
I agree Kelly…..14 was horrible for me too! I had acne, I didn’t stop growing (so I was taller then most all the boys), and I had naturally curly hair…which my mother had ‘chopped’ off and it was in that awkward ‘growing back’ stage. I used to pull it back in a ‘bun’ at the nape of my neck, tucked one side behind my ear, and let the other side curl up on my face. Oh…..what was I thinking! LOL! Not to mention the fact, that when I finally was invited to a ‘boy/girl’ party I had no idea of what to expect. Mother never spoke of such things….except to ‘warn’ me about those ‘bad’ boys and their intentions. So the first time a boy tried to ‘slow dance’ with me….and put his arms around me…I reacted badly. Tried to beat the poor guy with my fist…pushing him away. When I finally realized he was only trying to dance with me…..wow, I was so embarrassed…don’t think I will ever forget that one!
Oh Debbie, I am cringing right along with you. That hair? What were you thinking? And the beating with your fist? What were you thinking? I suspect, no, I know, that we would have been fast friends at 14. Awkward, awkward time. Oh man – thanks for my morning grin.
Oh this is glorious! You had me laughing out loud. I was a horrendous teenager – a proper drama queen. I wish I’d been able to simply relax and enjoy myself, but I was always more concerned with who my besties and enemies were.
Hi Becca! Thank you. Yes – that whole besties and enemies thing is just so potent as a teenager, isn’t it?