I’m sorry but there will be no brushing of the dog’s teeth in this household. Ever.
And why am I putting my little pup’s teeth at risk? Well, it all started with my children’s hygienist back in the days when they were rather small.
Why I Don’t Brush My Dog’s Teeth
“Mrs. McKenzie, I’m noticing both your children aren’t cleaning their teeth as well as they should for 5 and 6. I’ve demonstrated the method to them however it doesn’t seem to be something that they are grasping. Therefore I’m turning the job over to you. Now it’s very simple. All you do is have the child lie down with their head in your lap as you sit on the floor. Then grasp the toothpaste (toothpaste already in place) and ask your child to open their mouth. Gently brush each tooth in a circular motion. I’ve found that the Happy Birthday song sung twice covers the right amount of time to ensure each tooth is properly brushed … Just before bedtime is the perfect time for this. You will find it is such a bonding time with your children.”
The woman obviously didn’t have children. Or she worked full time and delighted in seeing her children after work. There is no way she was at home with them 24/7.
Am I crazy? No. Raising two children by myself after their father died when they were 20 months and three years old was a full time job. I was busy from the minute they got up until I threw them tucked them lovingly into bed at night.
I was exhausted. Once they were asleep it was clean up time. Clean the bathroom, clean up the toys that they “cleaned up” earlier, do the dishes, etc. Then when they got older and were able to help out a bit more, they joined Summer swim club. The swim meets took place out-of-doors almost every weekend from mid May through mid August. Pretty much every Friday and Saturday night I was chopping a zillion vegetables and all sort of juicy fruits, slapping together bagels and cream cheese, filling water bottles, creating individual treat bags of chocolate covered nuts (they’ll argue that rarely happened) and ensuring they had enough granola bars. Then I moved on to packing their swim bags with enough swim suits for warm ups and swims and enough towels. After this delight I moved on to packing the car. All of the above went in plus the tent and the canopy.
If it was a rainy Saturday, the tent had to be hung in the laundry room as well as the tarp that went underneath.
Yes, it was full on busy. On swim meet weekends I often fell into bed about midnight and arose the next day at 5:00 in order for my kids to report on the pool deck for 6:00 warm ups.
Got the picture? I was one tired Momma.
Now. Imagine going to the vet with our new puppy Oscar right around the time my son was five and my daughter six. It was a check up for our three-month old golden retriever.
The vet checked out his ears, heart and then she had a peep in his mouth.
“Mrs. McKenzie, this is the perfect time to start brushing Oscar’s teeth. It’s very simple. You use this special toothbrush and toothpaste. You simply put the dog in your lap and open his mouth. At first he’ll balk but then it’ll become second nature. You can do it after your children are in bed. You’ll find it such a bonding time with your dog.”
“I am NOT brushing the dog’s teeth! No bloody way! Good day.”
The poor woman didn’t know what hit her. We were out of the office and paying the bill before she could get the cap off the toothpaste.
I’ve always felt a little bad that I never stopped to explain my abrupt behaviour. If you know this delightfully enthusiastic vet perhaps you could show her this post. Thank you.
Enough about me and my horrid pet owner behaviour. I’m curious about you. What do you do after the kids go to bed. Is it legal? Can you share it? Or do you have a pet of some sort? If so, do you brush their teeth? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
47 Responses
I remember similar instructions from the dental hygienist. Bedtime was the witching hour in our house. My witching hour, that is … my least patient time of the day. Better to wake me up in the middle of the night with a bad dream than ask for one more thing at bedtime!
That said – I WON’T be brushing the dogs teeth in the morning – at bedtime – or in the middle of the night! I’ll just remind her to chew that “dental bone” she really doesn’t like!
I cannot tell you how much I love the “witching hour” label. Sums it all up in two words. Patience is absolutely out the door. And yes! Wake me up in the middle of the night. Fine. Climb on in. But ask me for “just one more favor” at bedtime? Not happening.
hahah love love it and I tried to brush my dog’s teeth like twice and then said “UM NO.” The fact that it took me 3.5 years to get my son to let me brush his teeth (without toothpaste) without throwing up… um whatever. They have baby teeth for a reason 😉
Thanks so much for linking up again Kelly 🙂
You understand more than most. Thanks Kristi.
Just ahhhhh – ah no way, no how ever never brushing my dogs teeth. Stick, stones and denta bones may keep her.
Letures from doctors, dentists nor hygenists shall change me. Let them at days end visit each if us – opinions may alter if ever they visited my house whe the kids were smaller. Yet my friend you always had a smile and continue to smile every time I see you never would you know just how hard you early mornings or late nights were.
You truly are someone to admire!
Awww Janice that is just sucha kind comment. Thank you. Grinning over the sticks, stones and dentabones line. Poppy chews her way through every walk these days. Never happier than when she has a splintery cedar bit of wood in her chompers. She knows she shouldn’t so she wolfs them down faster than her dinner. But! No comments whatsoever from the vet about her teeth so she’s getting the tartar off. Perhaps we should all adopt that dental plan? Pass the sticks please …
Oh this is too funny ! Being dog owners for many years we have also been told about the wonders of teeth brushing, and no it hasn’t been done, until our daughter started dog grooming and she now does it at work and at home, with ease ! By the way, you could not have paid me to brush the dogs teeth after the kids were in bed when they were little !!
Thank you. Feel great knowing you wouldn’t have touched the pups’ teeth when your two were little! And what a bonus having a live in toothbrush Queen! Heaven. What time shall I drop Poppy off?
Isn’t there a dog biscuit you can give him that cleans the teeth? Anyway, I totally feel you. In fact, take what you said, and put that where I tell the school, “no I’m not helping my kid with her homework are you kidding me?”
Exactly. You’ve got the right idea! Helping with homework leads to writing the papers, and so on. Good on you! And yes I should look into dentabones thinking.
You crack me up. I’m not brushing the dog’s teeth either. First I have to have time to brush my own. Then I have to inspect the older child’s “attempt” before making her redo it three more times crossing my fingers that she actually puts toothpaste on the brush at least one of those times. Then I have to brush Bridget’s. The dog? Give me a flipping break. 🙂
Thank you. It’s absolute nonsense, isn’t it? Bring on the dentabones. If I had no kids and nothing to do in the evenings – maybe I’d brush the dog’s teeth. Maybe.
So you were a Swim Mom way before there was such a thing as a Soccer Mom! Way to be on the cutting edge of Mommy-hood, as always! (or as you’ve put it in the past, Just TypiKel!)
😉
Hahaha! Thanks Anna. However I endured years of people with older swim kids telling me it was “much more labor intensive” years earlier. Apparently we got off lucky?
Oooh… I was at the dentist this morning and I didn’t dare read this before my visit! ‘were given a sample of toothpaste when little Olive kitten went for her first check up with the vet a few months ago. Do these people have any grasp of reality? I don’t think so!
I don’t think so either Helen. I mean I understand they want us to care for our pets but sometimes I do think they take it a tad far!
I was always too afraid of our German Shepherd’s huge incisors, Kel, to even think of getting them to open their mouths. Instead I encourged them to chew at rocks on the beach, bring home massive branches to work on and ask the vet to demonstrate every visit. Of about 20 pets, not one tooth fell out and not one howl was heard. The police who would raid our litters for future dog trainees always remarked on how clean their mouth were. They also massacred huge bones. Wee tooth brushes? No way!
So refreshing to be reminded of this! Thank you. And yes somehow I can’t see Dad or you cradling a dog in your lap and whooshing a brush around …
Will it make you think less of me if I tell you this is one of the reasons (among many others) that we don’t have a dog? It would fall to me, and I don’t want to brush a dog’s teeth!
Not in the least. I completely understand. Just one more task for mom to do and the whole system might grind to a halt. I totally get that.
Oh, I am SO with you, sister. I do a terrible job “helping” my three-year-old brush her teeth. Happy Birthday song twice? Um, no. 20 seconds is my final offer. And I too refused to brush my dog’s teeth. Ever.
Thank you. You know it is just so nice knowing I’m not alone in the dog toothbrushing department. My hairdresser asked me what toothpaste I used on my dog just the other day. She looked horrified when I replied “sticks.”
These days we go to bed about the same time the boys do – we are old and get up early!!!
When the boys were younger I loved bed time!! And, when Chris was deployed on gone on a trip it was the high point of my day – bedtime was not always my best time since I was tired from the constant demands of 2 young boys – my patience was not always the best:)
Yes I really think it’s about the limits of patience. So nice to plop everyone in bed when they’re wee. I tend to go to bed much earlier now too. Still not doing the dog’s teeth though!
I bet our vets are related! When our vet gently suggested that we brush our three cats’ teeth, my immediate reaction was “are you freaking kidding me???” But she gave me that look that made me feel I was a bad cat owner if I didn’t, and then proceeded to explain in detail the process of lovingly brushing cat teeth. Please. But we did intend to have children one day, so I figured our ability to care for pets was probably somehow indicative of our ability to keep children alive. And so we took home the little brushy thing and the cat toothpaste and did our best to attempt to brush their little cat fangs.
It did not go well.
Let’s just say that cats enjoy having their teeth brushed even less than children.
As for the Kidzilla, most nights we get it right and her dentist hasn’t yet told us we flunked tooth brushing. The only teeth that have fallen out are the ones that are supposed to. So we’re good.
Great post, Kelly!
Howling here. 3 cats? Man alive that was asking a lot of you to brush their teeth. 3? I do believe we had the same vet. That would be torture. By the time you finished the third it would be time to do the first again … And yes I’m with you about brushing the kid’s teeth too. We do the best we can, right?
That is all we can do, Kelly!
My dog has terrible teeth. For exactly this reason. I’m not brushing anybody’s teeth except my own, goddammit! (But that’s a good tip: the Happy Birthday song twice over. I’ll definitely tell the kids that.)
I am almost embarrassed to admit that I barely tuck my children in at night. I wish I appreciated those potentially quiet moments with them. I imagine it could be quite lovely. But their bedtime is my bath time (hot, steamy, don’t bother me) and that’s that.
Love your stories, as I tell you every time I read one, and am so filled with admiration and love that you raised your children from such a young age alone. And you had a dog! xoxo
Aw thank you Nicki. That’s so kind of you. And one more thing for us to bond over: I have a bath every night too. It is just such heaven to have quiet time when no one asks anything of you, isn’t it?
Hahaha, those two clearly didn’t have children, and the last one either had a dog at home growling at you when trying to brush teeth or hair!
Thank you. My point exactly.
Kelly, you had me cracking at this sentence: “Now it’s very simple. All you do is have the child lie down with their head in your lap as you sit on the floor.” It’s very interesting how certain tasks can be perceived differently by children with and without kids. I can imagine how without kids I wouldn’t see any challenge in this scenario described by the dentist. Your ability to make dental procedures funny is uncanny. I loved this.
p.s. I never brushed my dogs teeth before or during kids.
Yes! Your concept of the two different perceptions is so very spot on. Before I had kids I suspect I’d have been like the vet!
No kids here, at least not the two footed variety, but even if I had some around, brushing the dog’s teeth wouldn’t be my choice of how to spend the time. Hey, wait. I don’t have a dog either. Jeesh. Well, I’m pretty certain the cats aren’t interested in that either. Heck, there are some nights when it’s all I can to get my own brushed. Every one in this house is on their own! 🙂
Oh you have me grinning here Linda. I do understand. There are some nights now that I too struggle just to get my own teeth attended to. I love your kitty photos – especially the ones where they are “helping” you.
In her middle age, my dog has needed the plaque removed from her teeth every other year. It involves anesthesia and a day at the vet, but I do it. I simply cannot brush her teeth at home. It’s stinky, it’s messy, and I never remember to do it. I’m lucky that I remember to brush my own!
Ok now I am thinking I need to look into this for Poppy. Sounds like she could do with that – especially if it’s every other year and not every 6 months. Hmmmm … Something to chew over …
My dentist and his staff are pretty judgy. Drives me insane. They always ask my kids if they snack between meals and chew gum. When the kids answer yes, the dentist or staff shoot me a dirty look. I either send one back or I blather about the virtues of suger-free gum cleaning their teeth – depends on how I’m feeling that day!
My cat is nearly 18, blind, and I’ve never touched his teeth. He’s happy as a lark and so am I!!
Our dentist would go on and on about toothbrushing at Halloween and even weeks after. We also had a year where she nattered on about how many tablespoons were in a can of Coke. Very tiresome.
Am astounded at the age of your cat! Talk about nine lives …
We had the same thing with our two cats. Can you imagine a vet suggesting I brush my cats’ teeth?!?! And can you imagine any cat you have ever met in your lifetime going along with that particular nightly ritual?! Exactly. It never happened. Ever.
Grinning here Mo. No I can’t imagine it. Not even for a minute.
YEs I’m one of ‘those’ people I do brush my dogs teeth….on occasion….but certainly not every night. I think it is simply amazing that any of us made it into adulthood with all the ‘stuff’ that is required of parents these days. My mom was a working mom….sometimes I think I was the original ‘latch key’ kid. Came home to an empty house, made myself a snack, and usually watched tv ‘heaven forbid’ till mom came home around 5:30. Still….I think I turned out pretty darn good and I still have all my teeth!
Gosh that is good of you Debbie. Or should I say goodE. Sorry. Anywho, am sitting here in admiration that you came up with the concept of brushing your dogs’ teeth on occasion. Very clever. I think I could handle it if I wasn’t required to do it every single night. Hmmm. Something to ponder. Thank you. And my siblings and I often came home to an empty house too. My sister and I got hooked to Another World. Yep. Quality stuff.
Hahaha! Oh my! Nope, not gonna brush any dog’s teeth either! LOL We had dog before (he died 2 years ago) and I cannot remember brushing his teeth. My husband and I bought him those chewing stuff instead.
Yes Jhanis, many folks here have touted the delights and ease of the chewing stuff. I really should look into that. Am off to get dog food tonight in fact. Timing couldn’t be better. Thank you!
We had a vet in Texas that would not let up about having the dogs (2) teeth cleaned .. It cost $350.00 each. I told her that as soon as my girls finished with their braces I would think about it. She never let up so I found a new vet.
Oh now I totally get this. Why don’t they let up? Can’t they see the acute discomfort on our faces when they mention the $350.00 cleaning? Had she let up, you would have stayed and she would have garnered much more while taking care of your dogs. It’s just silly. My niece’s vet in LA just recommends chew sticks. Perhaps I’ll move there.