Life can change in a blink. One minute you’re living in a cosy Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and the next you’re living in a scary land of liars and frauds.
I confess that when my late husband and I bought our house over 20 years ago we didn’t really pay much attention to the neighborhood. In fact we had to pull out a map to figure out where we’d actually bought. I’m embarrassed to say now that the area is only a 45 minute drive from where we both grew up.
The thing that sold us on the place was the view.
I remember first climbing the front steps, entering the house and being drawn directly to the windows of the living room. The vista was one of mountains, river, and endless trees. The other houses on our street and those that stretched out beyond simply faded away. They didn’t stand a chance against that scenic backdrop.
For the first while we didn’t know anyone in our new environs. We were either travelling to and from work, at work or patronising our favourite haunts in our old neighborhood. Gradually, as we began renovating the unfinished basement with the help of my husband’s family (his father was a recently retired contractor) we became a bit more settled in our new surroundings.
Our smiles were soon returned by any neighbors we happened to encounter while gardening out front, mowing the lawn or parking the car. With the exception of the woman directly north of us; she was just a voice. A slurred voice. Overly fond of alcohol, she’d sing out to us from behind the comfort of our mutual fence. Particularly on snowy days.
“You’se can shovel my walk if you’se like.”
“Already done Marie!” my husband would call out.
“How’s ya know my name?” was the oft muffled reply.
Mr. Rogers Neighborhood?
It makes me grin to remember that we only started to feel truly at home in that neighborhood once we acquired a puppy. Fergus, our “first-born,” was an active black lab in need of daily exercise. He got plenty of it walking the local streets, parks and nearby forests. The added bonus was that to John and I the unfamiliar slowly became commonplace.
It was when our two children were born though that we began to actually get to know our neighbors. Once that happened, it hit us. We’d fallen into Mr. Rogers neighborhood, a land of quiet simplicity and gentleness. Our street was comprised of either elderly grandparents or young moms and dads. Everyone was happy to reach out to help, offer advice or simply a warm cup of tea. We became friendly with the family two doors up who had children exactly the same age as ours and the 15-year-old daughter to our immediate south who became our regular babysitter. The familiarity was comforting, yet never too much.
Unfortunately time didn’t stand still. Marie left this world and a transitional feel creeped onto the block. Her house was too small for the burgeoning families that purchased it; folks would stay for no more than a year. After a period of ten such years we finally had hope. A young couple moved in and the girl’s father seemed delightful.
“We’re helping the kids with the house. Yup, we’re gonna fix it up real nice for them.”
Sure enough, the house was torn apart from stem to stern. It took a little over a year. The daughter was rarely seen, the son-in-law was hit and miss, but the dad? When wasn’t he there? If he wasn’t mowing the lawn or running up the ladder, he was out front power washing the sidewalk. Mr. Roger’s neighborhood? Not any more. When Papa tired of these particular chores other things began to take place that affected my life yet without my permission.
First, the large tree out back was hacked close to my garage.
“It’ll grow back in no time.”
Then, the laurel hedge that served as a nice privacy wall between our two houses was yanked out leaving a huge gaping space.
“Isn’t that just so much better?”
Even worse, his constant presence became beyond uncomfortable. It was too much, too big, too often. We couldn’t pluck a dandelion out front without him flying over the stone retaining wall, bellowing the now decidedly tiresome words.
“We’re helping the kids with the house. Yup, we’re gonna fix it up real nice for them.”
One fall evening, almost a year to the day they bought the house, I happened to see the three of them huddled together on the sidewalk in front of our house. They were consulting with an overalled stranger who was staring at my gigantic red cedar tree and gesticulating wildly. Though I couldn’t hear his exact observations I sensed his intent.
My belief was confirmed at 8:00 the next evening by a tentative knock on the door. I opened it to find the son-in-law beaming at me from the depths of his brown leather boots.
“Hi! Guess what? We’re gonna get an arborist to shape up your tree. Won’t cost ya a thing! Gonna happen tomorrow! OK?”
So they were going to open up their view by trimming my tree. But hang on a minute. In this part of the world you can cut away any part of a neighbour’s tree that’s hanging over into your yard. You don’t need the neighbor’s permission. Then why was he asking me? Oh. The penny dropped. Of course. The “arborist” was going to do more than just shape. He was going to hack out a goodly portion on my side as well.
Enough. I couldn’t take it any more. My stubbornness kicked in and I found myself quietly pointing at the new home of a neighbor across the street.
“Tim, have a look behind you. Does that not look like a ferry or a cruise ship coming into berth in the dark of night?”
My astonished next door neighbor reluctantly turned.
“Since they choose to leave the lights on all night the only thing that allows me any sleep is that tree. The thick, glorious limbs keeps the light from beaming into my bedroom window.”
Tim was royally gobsmacked; stopped firmly in his tracks. Father-in-law hadn’t predicted this from me, the kindly pushover widow lady next door.
“Um… Can’t you just get some blackout curtains or something?” came his bleated response.
I drew myself up tall. All 5 foot 2 of me turned and squarely faced my little known 6 foot neighbor.
“Tim. You expect me to go to the expense of getting blackout curtains so you can have a better view? I don’t think so. No. I don’t give you permission for your tree guy to touch one inch of that cedar on my side of the property. Thank you. Good night.”
I shut the door on him.
Just two days later there was another knocking sound. This time it wasn’t on my front door. It was in front of their house where a huge “For Sale” sign was being pounded into the grass!
At last the real truth emerged. The “kids” had NO intention of moving into the house that Papa “fixed up real nice for them.” Their intent was for Papa to fix it and flip it. Why hadn’t they told us? I have no idea. I’m simply delighted to have all three of them gone from my life.
I’m pleased to report that we now have lovely new neighbors next door and our tree remains untouched.
This post was inspired by the Finish The Sentence Friday prompt of “When it comes to my neighbors …” Thanks so much to our lovely hosts Kristi Campbell at http://www.findingninee.com and Stephanie Sprenger at http://
Enough about me and my Mr. Rogers/Lying Frauds neighborhood. I’m curious about you. What’s your neighborhood like? Do you love thy neighbor? Or would you rather they left you in peace? Do you know them by name or by a nickname you’ve selected especially for them? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
66 Responses
Go momma! I cannot believe the nerve of that man. “We’re going to shape you tress.” Well I guess you should be grateful he SASKED first@!
Very true Allie very true. It was so odd in the way that he asked me too. I mean we’d barely exchanged words and he just shouted it at me. Probably nerves. At least he had the gumption to do it himself and not get father-in-law to do it.
OMG you always have the very best stories, and this one is no different. So they were never planning on even living there? They were just going to cut down your tree??? Holy crap! I’m so glad that all 5 foot 2 of you said NO WAY! and that you have good neighbors, now…
Me too Kristi! I think the plan was to get me onside all along. Butter me up and then deal with the tree. Better view = better price!
Part of the reason I sold my farm was due to a neighbor that my (ex) husband almost immediately labeled “the wash-woman.” I didn’t understand this moniker at first, but finally got it. At first it was comical, but then it got creepy. He’d bounce over at the end of the day (or any moment any company pulled in the driveway) to find out what was going on at the moment and then recount everything I’d done all day around the property — including observations on what I was wearing. It’s not like he was that close – this was a 117 acre facility and he was across the street – with long driveways into both homes. At his age it was unlikely any of these observations could have been made with the naked eye.
Country living was wonderful with a culture that meant kindness was offered without an eye on reciprocity in most cases. Everyone tends to know everyone’s business but that usually wound up being a good thing when all come to help those in need. Took me a long time to learn to accept that, but it was good lesson. With this particular neighbor, though, it became frightening. .
Consider yourself lucky that the crowning concern was a tree ;-). Glad to hear you had great neighbors replace the prior deception occurring next door. I really enjoyed reading your story as I do every blog post you write. Thanks for sharing.
Eeeewwwwwwwww. Am just cringing here as I read about that neighbor. How decidedly creepy. I thought “Steamboat Willie” (my nickname for the father-in-law of next door – based on his industrious, never ending, power washing of all things power washable) was odd but being able to comment on things not viewable by the naked eye? Yikes.
Your line of kindness being “offered without an eye on reciprocity in most cases” is thought provoking. I’d like to live in a part of the world where that was more prevalent.
Thank you so much for reading and for leaving this lovely comment Nanette.
You go girl! All 5 foot 2 of you!! Good for you to stand your ground and stand up for your poor, innocent tree! Neighbors can really make a difference in the quality of a neighborhood, right?
So very true Mo. Bad neighbors affect everything. One day I’ll do a post on the “druggie renter” who lived across the street for six months. Still can’t believe how he impacted my life …
Way to go Kelly, you reached up to very high heights telling your neighbour off. What a nerve ! Glad you have nice new neighbours.
Thanks Jane. I knew you’d be impressed as both of us aren’t that fond of disputes! Can see you doing the same.
I can’t tell you my neighbor story, because that would be giving them time and headspace that I absolutely refuse to give them. But it too involved cutting down our trees, stalling our construction project, and even offering to buy our house to prevent us from working on it. They are the only people in the world I do not speak to. The end.
You are such a wonderful storyteller, Kelly, and I’m so glad this one ended happily!
What? You have got to be kidding me. They did all of that and offered to buy your house? Ruder than rude. I, too, would not speak to them. Unbelievable. Hats off to you for not giving them neither time nor headspace. And thank you for your kind words Nicki. I appreciate you reading and commenting. Here’s to the good neghbors!
Holy Crap! That sounds like a neighbor from hell. I cannot believe they did that to you. Good for you for standing up (all 5 foot 2 of you) and not backing down. I’m glad you were able to trade up to better neighbors!
Yes I like the “able to trade up to better neighbors!” So far so good with the new folk next door. They keep to themselves which is just SO refreshing from the last crew.
Good for you Kelly! I’m glad they are gone. Funny how we have no control over who moves in, though, isn’t it? You’ve got good people in this world and bad people in this world. Same goes for neighbors!
Oh and then there is the “druggie renter” who moved in across the street for six months. I was on the phone with the police more often than not …
I cannot believe the audacity of that guy to just think he could trim your tree. And sweet Jesus, the lights on that house almost blinded me through the computer screen!! What is wrong with those people??!!-Ashley
Well between you and me Ashley thankfully the lights of the house don’t actually shine anywhere near my bedroom window. The house sits quite low and so I am not really affected all that much by the torch beams… Also they are quite considerate and only have the full on cruise ship look when they are hosting a party… Sssssshhhhhhhh ….
I’d forgotten you had that crazy experience with your neighbors, Kelly. We recently had a bit of an issue because one of our neighbors seems to have been running a junkyard out of their backyard. (And their back yard is very small and is completely visible from our house, back yard, and deck.) Everyone who came to our house would look out the window and say, “Oh, THAT’s unfortunate!” as they looked upon old refrigerators, toilets, stacks and stacks of car tires, random furniture, large white buckets, and other assorted junk… This past summer, I noticed that the neighbor’s fence (with at least 20 tires and a lot of random wood piled high against it) was starting to fall into our yard, which is not only unpleasant but unsafe, especially for our kids. We decided that the safest bet would be to put up our own fence, but ideally we’d have theirs taken down as part of that process. So I set out to talk to them. Unfortunately, they apparently don’t speak English, so my attempts in person and on the phone were repeatedly met with “No speak English.” 🙁 I had no idea how to proceed until a coworker suggested that I reach out to our City Councilor, so I sent an email, and that day, the Councilor was at our house, taking pictures from our deck of the neighbor’s yard (in spite of us not being home). He got the City Health Dept involved, and a few weeks later, a large black moving truck showed up, and all of the junk from the yard was moved into it. And then the truck stayed there, parked in the driveway, with the junkyard business apparently operating out of the back of it) for another two months. But last month, it disappeared. And the yard looks beautiful now. My husband is still upset that I got the neighbors “in trouble,” but I figure that if it was bad enough for the Health Dept to get involved, it was worth doing because my children shouldn’t be living next to a home that’s violating health codes! (But I do still feel a little bit bad, too…until I look out the window and feel happy.) 🙂
Holy Hannah Donna! This is incredible. What an eyesore. And it was starting to hang over into your yard? How scary for you and your kids. I think you were brilliant to phone it in. I mean you didn’t stop the business if it kept on happening from the back of the truck. I’m sitting here trying to picture the size of that truck.It must have been huge to hold all that stuff. The only downside to the neighbors was perhaps the fact that their merchandise didn’t “show” as well. Ha! Love that their yard looks beautiful now. Keep an eye on it. About a mile from me – on the dog walk route – there’s a woman who is a hoarder and she was phoned in by a neighbor. City came and removed all of her stuff. Her yard is gradually filling up again. She doesn’t resell, just hoards so maybe you’ll be lucky and your neighbor’s yard will remain empty. Hope so.
Even in buildings, Kel, you have to deal with neighbours. I have one who importunes me with requests for me to go down on my knees every time I make a remark like, “Oh, what a beautiful sunset!” She is totally god-driven. But my opposite guy told me that they had a thick long rope and he would lower me to the ground if there ever was a fire.
Bless him. As I am on the 11th floor, I can imagine me dangling and swinging around if that should occur. Best not mention the on who looks at her bosom as she brushes by hurriedly, speechlessly, to the elevator. And the little lady who is always occupying the washing machine. Of course, she may take in laundry. There’s a story in everyone! Love, Mom.
Giggling here over this comment Mom. Love it. And of course she may take in laundry … Oh your home is full of stories just waiting to be told. How about the gal who happily wanders much to the consternation of everyone but her husband … ? Thanks for popping in and leaving a comment. I treasure them.
Ever so proud of you Kelly!! As you so kindly put it neighbours are a blessing or a blessed headache that is for sure. Deceit and out right lying are a quality I find so repulsing. What ever happened to telling the truth? Assuming you would just roll over with there ever so generous offer – deceit at it finest, love your inner strength!! I guess the ole adage “never judge a book by its cover,” certainly applies with you. We have a lovely group of neighbours but one is a bit of a pill – basketball hoop and its noise has caused us to be referred to as the most disappointing neighbours they have ever lived near. With a threat to my hubby our child has played with it once, to afraid of the neighbour. Oh well I refuse to let one bad apple spoil the lovely neighbourhood and neighbours we are privileged to call home and friends!!
Well I do reach a point beyond which one shouldn’t cross Janice! This was the last straw. M and I were both finding the situation more than a little odd what with hardly ever seeing the daughter and being constantly made aware of unasked for favours by her dad. Like the butchering of the tree in the back lane etc… Got so we dreaded to go out front. “Is he visiting? Do you see his truck?” kind of thing. Yuck. And I’m sorry but someone finds you a disappointing neighbor? Because of a basketball hoop? One child swooshing a ball? What are they afraid of? Two teams playing full on at 03:00?
H E L L O. Good on you to not let that one bad apple spoil your ever so lovely neighborhood.
Oh my goodness!!! I am so glad you weren’t going to have to deal with them. If I couldn’t “pick a dandelion” without someone barreling into my space that would drive me nuts. So glad you’re able to still block out the bright lights and you have nice new neighbors. My parents neighbors have ask my dad if he could cut back some trees because he wants to make his driveway bigger. The bigger driveway would then be on my parents property (yeah the houses are that close). Anyway the houses a all typical three bedroom homes – closely built together and this man has like seven vehicles. Everyone has a two car garage. It’s a sight to see at the end of the day when everyone is home. He needs a bigger house is what he needs. By the way my dad said, “No.”
Seven vehicles? How lovely. One for every day of the week. Good on your dad for saying no.
That is awful what they tried to do! Flippers have no respect for the neighbors who do live in the neighborhood! I’m glad you put your foot down on that one, what an awful feeling it would have been if they cut down the tree only to turn around and make a profit. You go girl!
Exactly. I would have SO angry had I said yes. My neighbor on the other side of the flippers said yes to having her tree “shaped.” She is beyond angry now. It gets worse and I do feel sorry for her as the flippers (love that – thank you!) planted a tree that once grown will obscure her view!
I am so so proud of you! Neighbor relations can be messy (don’t even get me started on HOAs) but no one stands up for you if you don’t. But worth it all for that view…thanks so much for linking up!
I can stand a lot Allison but once I get pushed beyond a certain line, watch out! Learning lots about HOAs here on this link up. It’s been an eye opener for sure.
Kelly, you always have the best stories. I still think that I need to hire your life writer to write a more entertaining script for my life! Of course, it was the right thing to do to tell that guy no. I’m in awe that you were able to come up with a well-grounded reason for saying no, right in the moment. Good on you!
Hahah – great line Anna – “hire your life writer to write a more entertaining script…” I spent the day with Mom yesterday helping her with her Spring bulb planting and we were giggling over how both of us seem to have the quirkiest things happen to us. Like we’re quirk magnets or something. Ha! As for coming up with a well-grounded reason, well I did have a little heads up spotting the confab taking place the day before on the sidewalk. Luckily their wild gesticulations were easy to interpret.
Go Kelly! Way to tell him. I was so sad when the neighbors that back to us cut down their huge oak tree, but I couldn’t do anything about it. Their property, their call.
That’s so hard Dana. I’m sorry. I bet you miss it.
So glad you got to upgrade your neighbors, keep all the parts of your fabulous tree, and have an amusing tale to share.
Thanks Deborah. I am glad that I didn’t say “yes, by all means do “shape” the tree.”
Love that little ol’ you stood up to the neighbors. You go, grrl!
Thank you! Trying. I will take only so much and then … watch out!
Wow. I always wonder what’s wrong with people who think they can just decide things for other people. Sigh.
So very true. Sighing along with you.
I can’t believe someone would try to get you to cut the tree or hire someone to do it for you!! How obnoxious. I love trees, and it would hurt me physically to have any in our yard trimmed too much or cut down. So, has anyone new moved in recently??
Yes, we do have new neighbors. The renovations included a full on suite downstairs and I’ve yet to figure out which of the four people live where. They are all very young and zip off to work each day. Rarely around on weekends and we’ve exchanged smiles over the fence when gardening. Keep to themselves which is wonderful.
Oh good for you for standing up for yourself. We had one large beautiful tree in our yard in our last home and the utility company came and just ripped it apart. They said it was too close to the power lines. No notice. No opportunity to nicely trim it ourselves. I understood what they were saying but had no idea it was a problem and was devastated by what they did. I’m glad you were able to keep your beautiful tree.
Oh wow Michele that is tough. They just ripped it apart? Without any notice? Ouch. I am glad that we were able to keep the tree as well. It just adds so much.
Our neighborhood was a new, start up …..I think ours was the 3rd or 4th house built….and yes, it was ‘our children’ who called us out of our cozy little homes and into the streets to meet one another. Our neighborhood was full of young parents…just like us…some of whom I even had went to school with…others complete strangers whom became our closest of friends. We had block parties and holiday parties together. It was bliss most of the time. My son still says he had the best childhood ever….I’d like to take all the credit but I think the neighborhood may have to take center stage on that one. But then kids grew up and neighbors moved on….in came more of course, but it was never quite the same. We moved on and into our little home on wheels, but we were unable to sell the house do to the economy at the time. Now, my son and his bride to be have moved in and the neighborhood is once again filling with young couples and young children and so the cycle of life begins again. Yes, we still own the house. The deal is they can live there until Kourtney (the bride) is finished with her PHD. Then they need to make a decision to stay and purchase the house or move on and we will stick the ‘for sale’ sign in the yard! I’m pretty sure they will be moving on as they have already been looking at other homes to purchase. We have owned that house now for over 20 years and it has served us well…..I’m ready to let it go, but I know it will pull on my heart strings when the day comes to finally say ‘goodbye’…..
Debbie this neighborhood sounds magical. Just magical. How lucky that your son can enjoy the “rebirth” for a weensy bit longer. I hope that when it comes time to sell you are able to get a lovely family to buy it and that they give you the asking price (or more)!
Big sigh. Yes, neighbors. So far, we still have the neighbors we’ve had for 40 years, but the neighborhood itself has certainly changed. A few years ago, in spite of what the neighborhood wanted, the city installed street lights on our corner. Street lights! Traffic. Oh, the traffic. So glad that you have good neighbors again.
Oh the traffic – I’m sorry to hear things have changed in that department. You are indeed blessed to have lived there for 40 years and have the same neighbors! However, I bet the changes are a bit sad to see.
I can only imagine the father in law lied about the house flipping because the neighborhood association might have found ways to block the remodeling fi they knew it was for making the place more salable instead of livable.
My current next door neighbor gave a terrible first impression as he’d got roaring drunk and decided to pick a fight with me about our shared bathroom. He’s trying to stay off the sauce now and much more tolerable.
Oh I do hope he manages to stay off the sauce Scott!
Kelly,
Loved your story esp how you took us back to when you just moved in 🙂
Amen to your wish
xoxo
Why thank you! Thanks also for reading and commenting! May we both be blessed with good neighbors.
Hooray for standing up for yourself and getting rid of the obnoxious guy!!!
Kelly, thank goodness you spoke up! Your tree is swaying happy breezes to you. (This is a finding your voice post!)
Your experience brings up memories. When I lived in Ohio on a ravine, more than once I was startled by new neighbors moving in and then clearing their land of trees! Why move into a treed habitat if you don’t like trees?! But then, like you write, there are wonderful, amazing neighbors, too.
You’re 5’2″? That’s a perfect size, but I read you as much, much taller.
Oh you’ve got me smiling yet again! Are you sitting down? Good. Between you and me I strive to be 5’2″ tall. I’ve thought of myself as 5’2″ for as long as I can remember. Imagine my utter shock when I was working through the metric system with my daughter years ago and my late husband’s carpentry measuring tape announced I was, ahem, 5’1″ something. Well that’s just silly. It must be faulty as I am and have always been and will always be, thank you very much, 5’2″.
It is a finding my voice post, you’re right! Hadn’t looked at it that way before. And yes, why move into a treed habitat if you’re not fond of trees? You’ve reminded me of my parents’ former neighbors. They denuded the backyard. Not a stick left except a multitude of stumps that they covered up with a layer of sawdust. Yes sawdust. It was quite the vision.
Ha, great ending, good riddance 🙂 We live in an apartment and we have some good neighbours and some bad ones. The couple above us called the police on us once because our 2-year-old was crying (and disturbing their sleep).
Are you serious? I think that is a bit above and beyond to call the police for that. Holy moly. I trust you’re weren’t issued a ticket for disturbing the peace?
Oh,no. The police told the neighbours off for wasting their time, so it ended up being a good thing in the end.
Well this gives me hope. I am so glad they were told off and that it didn’t go any further.
Neighbours can make or break your experience. And I am so open to having neighbours a part of our life. Even the AA meeting participants that linger at the church next door. The more the merrier.
But once, I found a portable telephone in our backyard. I had no idea who it belonged to. I went through the phone directory to try and figure it out. This person had the city inspector on speed-dial. We had the “city” called frequently to come into our home to see if illegal work was being done. If we had a PLUMBER there to fix a sink, the city would be there the next day to inspect – to see if we were illegally working without a permit. It has become almost abusive. And very weird.
Anyways, we found the neighbour who was creeping around the backyard, who had dropped his phone. (His excuse was terrible – we threw him off-guard.) Turns out we also found out who was calling the city on us at every chance.
I still love having neighbours. But sometimes – they need to leave you the (bleep) alone.
Oh Sara this one takes the cake. You have got to be kidding me. This sounds like a person with very little to do … I hope the incessant phoning came to an abrupt halt after you scooped up his phone.
I love that you stood up for your tree! I’m just glad he asked you too, because I’ve had my neighbor do many things without asking me first, including stomping on my drain pipe instead of asking me to move it.
That was the first neighbor I talked to in my neighborhood five years ago, and after we realized how insane she was, how fake she was to our face, and how mean she was, we decided not to try with any of our other neighbors.
The truth is that our neighborhood is not very social. No one waves to each other. No one stops and stands outside talking. We live in a crescent, and I’m pretty sure it is the most anti-social crescent in the world. (Probably because the rest of them talked to my mean neighbor first!) And, even though I feel connected to our neighborhood, I enjoy the silence of it all.
He stomped on your drain pipe? Yikes! I understand your reluctance to connect and can appreciate the delight of the silence. If we could all pick our neighbors I think life would be rather different. I like to chat with mine but not live in their pockets. Does that make sense?
Absolutely. That’s how I feel too.