If you follow this blog from time to time you’ll know I’m a wee bit quirky. Things happen to me that don’t necessarily happen to others. Except my mom.
*** Key Point: Once I unleash the invite to come to dinner my vision/focus/perception changes and I see things in a whole new light. Previously shy dust bunnies, copious weeds, and languidly long and droopy cobwebs instantly show themselves. Hence the concept of prep changes. It’s no longer simply one of rifling through cookbooks and patrolling online sites for recipes. Oh no. It’s so much more. In fact, I could do a top 20 reasons to host a dinner party but for the sake of brevity let’s just stick to ten.
Top Ten Reasons To Host A Dinner Party
1) Upper Body Workout
Nothing says exercise quite like the teasing and yanking out of the stubbornly wild and out of control dandelion weeds that choke both the curb and sidewalk. At 06:00 in the morning. Of course, I just know my guests will focus on nothing else when they pull up outside my house.
Handy tool: small trowel with sturdy handle – excellent for digging in between the teensy sidewalk cracks and dislodging those reluctant roots.
2) Early Morning Starts
In the Summer with an eastern facing garden it is impossible to enjoy weeding after 8:00 in the morning. Sweatbeads sting my eyes, rendering the task of spotting weeds virtually impossible. So I have no option but to get outside before 06:00. Yes, smart folks would do their weeding on a regular basis. See above *** Key Point.
3) Opportunity to Complete A First Aid Kit Inventory
The potential for oven scalds aside, there is no better opportunity to assess the contents of the first aid kit quite like the prep for a dinner party. As I pull the hundredth handful of weeds that choke the struggling butterfly bush near the garden light I become aware of one or two wasps flitting about. I’m not allergic to them so I pay scant attention. Oh how I love nature and getting an early start and … ZAPPPP. Vigilant guard wasps protecting the baseball sized papery nest that is being crafted under the light take exception to my presence.The buggers sting me. Under my gloves. Hurling aside my trowel I rip off the gloves, leap up the stairs, rip off half the nail on my left big toe, wrench open the front door and head off in search of the first aid kit and its cooling “After Bite.”
Note to self: Replace After Bite; and band aids. And get more baking soda. Good to know latter mixes up nicely with water to form a soothing paste.
4) Finally Meet The New Neighbours
The house next door has had several owners in the past decade. Last summer the latest owner’s father did a complete reno. Every time I ventured out of the house he’d look up from his pressure washer and shout “we’re fixin’ her up for the kids.” Turned out to be total balderdash; they were fixin’ her up to resell. The new buyers moved in last September.
Note to self: Don a less holey shirt whilst weeding. The new neighbours will appreciate it as they head off to work at dawn.
5) Receive Flattering Comments From The Old Neighbours Across The Street
“It’s just SO nice to learn that you’re actually social.”
6) Reason to Visit Favourite Kitchen Store
If you are ever in Vancouver you must, simply must, visit the delight that is The Gourmet Warehouse. Give yourself an hour or six. Why yes, I have been known to take a cooking class or two at this wonderful kitchen store.
7) Make A Last Minute Replacement Dessert Topping.
This has to be one of my utter faves. Extra work added at the last minute. I shan’t forget that overwhelming dread that washes over me when I open the second $9.99 container of mascarpone. It smells equally as foul as the first. Is it off? The expiry date is September 2014. Or is it just the normal smell of ridiculously expensive mascarpone? I usually buy a version that is half the price. However, I’m running late (see *** Key Point) so I pop into the closest store and am forced to grab what’s on offer.
Initially I just dump in twice the regular amount of hazelnut liqueur to disguise the decidedly pungent rubber hose smell. But horrors – three hours later the smell is even worse. It’s now morphed into soggy canvas tent land. A backup plan must be hatched. A quick google of “toppings for mediterranean almond cake” reveals a relatively easy blueberry topping. Perfect.
Note to self: Your guests will instantly confirm your concern that the mascarpone is indeed off. Expect plenty of “Why would you not return it asap?” See above ***Key Point
8) Entertain Supermarket Lineup and Staff
Brilliant guest advises me to take the offending topping to the store as proof of “offness.” Naturally I find myself in line at 8:30 the next morning clutching a clammy Tupperware container. I follow her advice to the letter. “I believe you need to pull all the mascarpone off the shelf immediately. You wouldn’t want anyone else to suffer last minute replacement dessert topping syndrome. Have a whiff of this…”
Note to self: Warn the deli/dairy clerk that the smell is a tad foul BEFORE removing Tupperware lid. Or at least enquire as to his alcohol intake of night before. Suspect that his sudden shade of green isn’t natural. Hell, warn everyone in the vicinity. Mind you, it was kind of the lovely lady ahead of me in line to insist I go ahead of her.
Random thought: Google correct pronunciation of mascarpone. I’m treated to endless varieties ranging from “marscapOwn,” “marscapony,” “maRscapone,” and ” marcaponet” … Which one is right?
9) Arrive Early For Morning After Swim Practise
After five two days of intense cleaning, weeding, scrubbing, polishing, and dusting (see *** Key Point) my brain might be stuck in automatic pilot. That 05:45 practice is actually 06:15. Oh well we get a nice parking spot, my son gets a bit more shuteye and he certainly isn’t late arriving on the pool deck.
10) Never-ending Nudges to Blog About It
Between chugging down huge gulps of water and wine after the tiniest taste of Kelly’s Disgusting Mascarpone Sauce and the resulting explosive laughs, everyone at the table manages to squawk “You simply must write a post about this.”
Thanks guys. Done. Like Dinner.
Will I learn from these top ten reasons to host a dinner party? In other words get organized and maintain a regular routine of cleaning and gardening? Not a chance. It just wouldn’t be typikel.
Enough about me and the top ten reasons to host a dinner. I’m curious about you. What is your prep style? Are you like me and do everything at the last minute? Or do you maintain a calm and methodical housekeeping and gardening routine that ensures you only need to consider the menu? Better yet, do you simply opt to host at a local restaurant? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
28 Responses
HaHa – I think your dinner parties would be loads of fun!! I think that the dinner party prep would even be fun:)
Oh it is always an adventure here Kim. I can’t believe how I get so focussed on the minutiae at party prep time … “Oohhh is that a bit of fluff wedged there behind the dryer? …” Honestly, I should just have the mindset that I’m hosting a dinner party every night. There’d be a whole lot more cleaning getting done around here if so …
Reading this was a lot of fun, Kelly. I can certainly relate. For what it’s worth, my favorite weeding tool ever is a potato fork. I’m guessing my weed roots are deeper than yours :-).
Smiling over the potato fork concept. Brilliant idea.
You’ve just stated all the reasons why the only entertaining I do now if for family…who don’t care about weeds and dust bunnies 🙂
Hahaha! You make me laugh Kathy. So lovely to have family members who don’t care about that stuff. My brother is the king of tidy. My earliest memories are of him using a wet paper towel to wipe my careless crumbs off the lid of the peanut butter tin…
I would totally love to be invited to that dinner party! And I’m allergic to mascarpone!
Sounds like a classic event. So glad you shared (so the rest of us know we’re not alone when the gluten-free carrot cake batter fo the Hello Kitty birthday cake is so offensive you have to spit it into the sink.) 😉
You’re allergic to mascarpone? Well no worries – I’m thinking twice about making that sauce again. The replacement blueberry option was a hit. As for the spitting out of the Hello Kitty birthday cake batter – well that just made my day.I am a bit slow on the uptake I think. Even though the mascarpone smelled foul I kept adding more and more hazelnut liqueur – ever hopeful. Just should have shucked it all at the first whiff…
LOL – you know how to throw a dinner party and entertaining prep as well! I can’t say I’ve ever been fond of marzipan, but now I think I’ll continue to steer clear and opt for blueberries. While I like the idea of being well prepared for dinner parties, somehow those pesky weeds do have a way of throwing off the timetable. And let me just say I always keep the delivery menus handy thanks to one disastrous menu fiasco. Enough said about that. 🙂
Of course, what a brilliant idea to keep the delivery menus handy. Your comment reminds me that one day I really must tell you about the time my sister’s oven quit at Christmas. While the turkey was cooking. My uncle kept reassuring every one he could smell it cooking. It wasn’t.
I love everything about hosting a dinner party except the cooking 🙂 I love to prepare and plan and set up so I tend to order in, or make my husband grill!
Still, I don’t host as often as I should. After your post, I’m encouraged to add it to my list of things to do in the Fall!
Oh Kate you make me smile. I enjoy the cooking the most. We’d make a great team you and I.
Well needless to say my Canadian twin, I get it.
Yes the dinner party in my house requires a minimum of one months planning, including weeding, possible painting and various practice runs with the potential dishes. Easier to go to a restaurant I think.
Canadian twin! I love that! You are one clever clogs to do practice runs with the potential dishes. That’s one prep I don’t do and really should. Dinner guests are often thanked for being menu guinea pigs…
You and I are on the same page with this. My husband and I have always joked that we need to have dinner guests at least every 2 months in order to get all that work around the house done. And people don’t understand how much I enjoy doing all the planning and prep of the food. It IS nice that my husband is so good at cleaning up after me. If I’m ever in Vancouver, Must make a point of visiting the Gourmet Warehouse!
Oh yes you simply must check out the Gourmet Warehouse if you’re ever here Gail. It is owned by a lovely woman who searches the world for unique and reasonable items. If you need it, she’s got it! Her staff are so friendly and helpful too. Last time I was in one of them talked me out of a pricey scale in favour of a cheaper one that wouldn’t trap crumbs and dust in the corners. Lovely.
I think I’m going to adopt your idea of having dinner parties every 2 months. Think of how spotless my house would be!
I’m sort of twitching because the last dinner party I threw was for families, and one child had a severe dairy allergy. Which meant everything had to be cooked dairy-free. Which I did after endless Googling and approval of ingredients by the family who kept saying “Don’t worry about it, we’ll bring his own food” to which I kept saying “No, no, you’re my guests let me do it!”
Oh I’ve been there. That is so me. “No, no you’re my guests let me do it!” Be so much easier if they just brought his food but that just seems wrong. Mind you, I once served a Dairy Queen icecream cake to a peanut allergy lad not realizing there were peanuts in the cake… Fortunately his allergy was at the “throw up and he’s all better” stage. He was old enough to look at me and say “Oops there’s peanuts in it” prior to bolting for the bathroom. But still …
We had a party last year that got us inspired to landscape the yard, a project we put off for nearly 20 years. Took us months and our life savings (or a good deal of our retirement) but it was a nice party.
There were no leftovers but the yard still looks nice.
Oh this is lovely Susan. I want to hear more! What was the party in honour of? I’m thinking it must have been a special anniversary or reunion or birthday or something for you to go to all the trouble of a landscape redo! If it wasn’t a really special occasion I am beyond impressed. And I want to be invited to your next one …
Waaaaaait a minute……weed the stuff on the curb? Seriously? Hold up a second…. did you say weed? That’s a great big no, Hell no! I entertain constantly–sometimes cooking for groups well over 75 or 100 or more.. Every Wednesday (outside of a few) all summer I host a Happy Hour (actually it runs about 3 hours), and I could see upwards of 30 people any given week. I could give a rats a** about weeds on the curb or anywhere else. My place is what is it, and that alone could be a series of scary blog posts. If my guests can’t deal with it, they can go get free food and booze somewhere else (and that could also be an interesting series of blog posts!) You are so hilarious, Kelly! Maybe I’ve just become desensitized with event planning and entertaining. When I am at home, I do what makes me happy and share it with everyone else. It usually works. I must say though, I would be willing to goto Vancouver JUST to shop at that amazing store!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!.
I know! Thank you Patty. Your perspective is what’s needed. You see I do focus on minutiae waaaayyyyyyy too much. In my defense several of my pals somehow are gifted with the neat gene and their homes are spotless. I gave up competing in that department a long time ago however I can’t quite seem to let the weeds on the curb go. AM so impressed with your Wednesday Happy Hour(s) – wonderful fun. Wish I lived closer. I know I could learn one hell of a lot from you!
Oh Kelly, this brought many chuckles for me , as it sounds just like me when entertaining ! So many stories could be told about almost disasters ( salmon catching fire in the oven, my visiting English cousins are still laughing over that one). My garberator breaking as I am doing Thanksgiving prep (guests there and husband furious at me for overloading it, as he is now crawling under sink to fix it) . Then a multitude of desserts that had to be redone !! Thanks for the good laugh, I should have known you are just like me !
Salmon catching fire in the oven? Oh I’ve got to hear about that one. Garberator breaking down during Thanksgiving prep -now that must have been delightful. Man alive – of course you are like me! Can’t wait to catch up and get the scoop on the visiting English cousins. Enjoy your time with them in the meantime!
The dandelions are here on purpose. We use them in our food. Which we bring to potlucks. Preferably held elsewhere. 😉
Oh this sounds all too familiar! I’m famous for trying some new, complicated recipe just hours before company is to arrive. I’m just a so-so cook in the best of times and under the pressure of arriving guests I just fall apart. Ice cream with hot fudge and sprinkles is my sad “Plan B”.
HA HA HA HA!! This right here is why I do not host dinner parties…hell, I barely host dinner at all! 😉 What I would give to be a guest at one of your shindigs, though…I have no doubt that I would leave full and happy! :)-Ashley
Oh it would be fun to have you over Ashley! After the prep work was all over of course …