Should I consider blogging about my 91-year-old mother’s second fall? Apparently yes.
“I do hope you are writing about me and letting everyone know where I’m at. It’s important for them to know a 91-year-old can bounce back from a second fall.”
Ok Mom. As you wish.
Her call comes late in the afternoon on Sunday, just before dinner time.
“I’ve had another fall. There’s no blood this time but I did bump my head again.”
No. She is still recovering from that first fall of just 13 days earlier. My mind reels with questions. What is going on? Why does she keep falling? Should she go to the hospital a second time and get checked out? Ambulance or car?
“Should I go to the hospital and get checked out?”
Absolutely.
Four hours of multiple tests and blood work later we know the falls are something to do with her blood pressure and that she has thankfully no internal bleeding or broken bones. Further observation is necessary so she’s admitted into hospital for at least the night.
“Damn I wish I had my diary. You’ve no idea how frustrating it is for me to keep falling and not know the reason why. I need to write about it. I hope you were taking notes Kelly on what the doctors and nurses were saying.”
Our mother religiously records every second of her life in her diary. She has done so for as long as I can remember. So it is with great relief that I see her pick up her pen the minute she and it are reunited. She must be feeling okay.
Then my attitude towards her takes a little turn. She begins to narrate her writing. VERY LOUDLY.
“JAMES DROVE ME TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE I WAS ADMITTED BY THE DELIGHTFUL NURSE … UM … UM … OH DAMN. WHAT WAS HER NAME? I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MY DIARY WITH ME. KELLY WHAT WAS HER NAME?”
Jan. Her name was Jan. How do I remember? I’ve recorded it in my phone. Why? Because I know she’ll want to know. For my mother asks ab-so-lute-ly everyone their name. The grocery bagger, the taxi driver, the lottery ticket dispenser, the letter carrier … even the eight year old lacrosse playing chocolate fundraiser … Each name makes its way into her diary.
She continues to diariatize. Out loud. Her commentary draws smiles from the weary nurses bustling by out in the hallway. I settle in for a long wait. She’s got a good 16 hours of catch up to do and there’s no hope of my escaping. I’m needed to provide those names. As she prattles on my mind wanders. It turns to inevitable minutiae such as the need to remember to feed the parking meter, wondering what’s in the fridge at home that came be turned into dinner and the possibility of …
“I WAS SO RELIEVED TO HEAR THAT DR C SAYS MY MIND IS AS SHARP AS A TACK. IT’S REALLY THE ONLY THING I HAVE LEFT THAT IS STILL ONE HUNDRED PERCENT…”
I’m slapped sideways; a lump grows in my throat. She’s right. My 91-year-old mom is as sharp as a tack. What if this second fall had rendered her less? What if she could no longer journal? I can’t imagine it. She’d be lost. My frustration with her obsessive diaritization and accompanying verbal rehash evaporates in a blink. We are so very lucky to still have her here. And journaling.
Four days later she’s still in hospital. She’s learning to wait in position for at least a good two minutes after standing. She’s acquiring balancing techniques. She’s adapting to new tools to help her in her every day life.
In short, my 91-year-old mother, who’s as sharp as a tack, continues to learn.
I’m grateful. So is the rest of the family and all of her many friends.
Journal away Mom. Long may it continue.
Enough about me and blogging about my 91-year-old mother’s second fall. I’m curious about you. Do you think it’s inappropriate that I blog about her? Is it too personal and crossing the line? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
38 Responses
Oh Kelly I am so glad you blog about your Mom. She is tonic for my soul – I have learned so much from her and we have never met. She reminds me of what might have been with my Mom.Missing her is hard , but living vicariously through another does help.
I have been saddened to hear of her falls. I have heard that for someone of her age falls can have devastating consequences. Perhaps the family should think ahead to Christmas and a laptop purchase for your Mom – I feel a blogger in the making. I am certain celebrity status would soon be hers. I admire your Mom’s tenacity.
Hang in friend – hope all will return to just typikel soon. xo
A blogger in the making. Love that. She fires out family missives on her home computer weekly in which she outlines her daily doings. She’s busier than me. There has been chitchat lately by her as regards to getting a laptop!
Thanks for your kind words Janice. I’ll pass ’em on to Mom!
I love that you share about your mom and that, clearly, she wants you to share about her!!
So awesome that she is still so sharp. My grandpa died last August at 98 and up until about the last month or 2 he was as sharp as he had always been!!!
Wow – 98! And he was still sharp. I am going to tell Mom. Something for her to shoot for!
the joy of new technology is the voice recognition software capabilites are brilliant. My mother also NEEDED “to put pen to paper,” like artists who MUST sketch, draw, doodle, paint etc; a compulsion/driving force, I love these blogs about your mum and your’s relationship, the insights are always pure and keep them coming your interpretations and representations of her through you are a testament to your expressive skills, thanks Kelly **
Thank you Nonie. You’re right it is most definitely a compulsion/driving force. Probably plays a large part of her mind remaining “sharp as a tack.”
I am so happy that you blog about your amazing Mum Kelly, but so sorry that she has given you some worrying times to blog about. Please pass on my best wishes to her ! She reminds me very much of a 101 year old patient of mine, who still lives in her own home, still drives and volunteers ( after being the founding member ) at the Langley Hospice. She is sharp as a tack as well, and does not take any guff from anyone !!! Do hope that your Mum is doing much better soon .
Thank you so much Jane. I will indeed pass on your kind words. I will also tell her about your 101 year old patient. Honestly she is so inspirational! What an amazing and indeed lucky person to still be able to drive and volunteer. Love she doesn’t take any guff from anyone too – probably helps keep her young.
There’s hope for you and I yet Jane.
Got an odd notice on the note I previously sent you Jane so I’ll fire another comment. Love commenting to you anywho! That 101 year old sounds amazing and she makes Mom look like a pup! I’m off to see Mom now and I’ll pass on your kind comments. Thanks Jane. Have a great weekend!
I think it is awesome that you blog about your MOM…..Aging is a journey we all take and it is so nice to know it can be done with dignity and grace (even when we fall down) surrounded by loving and caring hands. That’s how it should be anyway……Blessings to you and your MOM for showing us how it is done and sending love and light for a speedy recovery!
The first true sort of blog – THE DIARY. I feel like she would be joyful at you sharing her life. As she does so carefully, everyday. And I have to say there is something truly special about her asking everyone their name. There is so much power in that – for the OTHER PERSON – so few people ever take the time.
Thank you for sharing this day in your life!
Sara – you are so right about the power aspect of being asked your name. Hadn’t thought of it in those terms before. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Made me look at it in a whole different way!
I think it entirely appropriate to blog about your mother if you have her blessing to do so.
Thank you. That’s really what it all boils down to, isn’t it?
I enjoy everything you write, Kelly. It’s like getting a peek into your life and I often see my issues and experiences (just different characters) and I so love when you write so I throw my head back in laughter.
And, I’m thrilled your mom is journaling and getting tools to keep her at home (and back painting).
The question, “Should I blog about my mom?” is a good one. I’m glad you do blog. (Personally) as to blogging about my daughter or family or husband, I’ve done a check with them. Mostly okay. This question crosses over into posting on Facebook. For example, my daughter asks that I post no pictures of Dylan (grandchild) on FB She’s not a big facebooker and she and her hubby don’t know what Dylan might think of this later. Since he can’t answer yet, she doesn’t post. Her stance. I respect it.
Thank you so much for your kind words Susan. As for your daughter and her thoughts on Facebook posting – that is so interesting. I understand that and would respect her wishes too. In my case Mom says yes go ahead and do a post but at the back of my mind I’m wondering if I should. Privacy issues etc. However, she’s encouraging me to do it and so I do. Hopefully it will help with healing!
Kelly I cannot help but think your Mum was a blogger before her time. Her journaling has been like blogging and it sounds like she is enjoying the platform you now have to share words, wisdom and humour with the world. Your Mum is a talking point between my Mum, Aunt and I all the way over here in Australia. Please make sure she knows and that you tell her my name. i would love to make it in the journal.
Honestly Karen my mom is tickled pink that she has three Aussies on her team. Thank you so much. Your name will be in the journal.
I’m with Karen. Your mom sounds like the original blogger. And don’t tell her I said so, but she may be doing it way better than the rest of us. What a treasure. Hope she’s back on her feet soon. (And back in those sneakers!)
Thank you! Right now she’s sporting these extraordinary socks that she adores. She managed to score an extra pair as she had me take them home and wash them. We’ll get her back in the sneakers very soon though I’m hoping.
As long as your mom is okay with you blogging about her (and encourages it!), I say go for it. Hope she continues to mend physically, and documents the whole thing in her diary. Which, by the way, is one of the most awesome things ever. Clearly you’ve inherited your mom’s love for the written word!
Thanks Dana – she is totally onside with me blogging about her. It just sometimes feels a bit odd. However I drew the line at sharing a pic of her face. Happily the tennis ball swelling at the side of her face is now a much less cringeworthy marble size …
I love that your mom continues to learn – that is what keeps her sharp as a tack! I’m glad she is taking precautions. Yes – an original blogger. She must have zillions of books filled with all sorts of information!
We talked about her zillions of books today Vickie! She wants to dig them out and go through them with me which is a wonderful sign. We should get through them all by 2022 I’d say …
I think you are blogging about your mom in a very appropriate way. And it sounds like she wanted you to! Seems like she’d have quite the blog had blogging been around when she were younger.
You’re right Jennifer. It would have been quite the blog.
Your mom’s journaling is clearly part of her soul and something that, no doubt, sparked your interest in writing. You honor your dear mom by sharing her story. Her spunkiness is an inspiration to all of us!
Thanks Mo. She is certainly winning over her fellow patients, the nurses and the cleaning staff right now.
I love your mom and your journaling about her! I don’t think it’s too personal, especially as I believe she is on board with you sharing the whole situation.
Tell her Katy in Michigan says hello and all the best!!
I will indeed Katy! Thank you.
How much do I love it that your mom keeps a detailed diary. SO much. How much do I love that you documented the nurse’s name on your phone because you knew she’d want it. SO SO much. How much do I hate that she’s fallen again…more than I can say.
I love your mom’s spirit and attitude. She’s sharp as a tack and just doesn’t let things keep her down. I’m just about half her age and I could do with a little more of her spunk.
Do I think you shouldn’t blog about your mom? NO WAY DO I THINK THAT! We in her fan club would rebel, Kelly! We’d stage demonstration!! We love your mom and look forward to hearing all about her (but we wouldn’t mind it a bit if she had no more falls or medical problems to blog about. We just want her happy and healthy!) Please give her all the love from the Dose Girls!! –Lisa
Thank you so much Lisa – She is one tickled Mama to receive your good wishes. “They really said all that?” So cute.
Bless her little journaling heart! I’m not even kidding when I say I love your mom, but even more than that, I love how you adore her little quirks and “personality” traits. You’re so sweet. I hear many people gripe about their elderly parents, and TRUST ME, I get it. I get that it can be tedious as hell to deal with the elderly, but on the other hand, they’re so precious and have so much value. *hugs*
Thanks Beth – they truly broke the mould when they made her. Oh the stories I could tell …
I love reading about your mum – she’s such a wonderful lady. Perhaps you should get her blogging !
Oh Helen she would really enjoy it I know however she has a zillion things on the go. One of them is to blast out a weekly family update to all of the various family members. She often has me in stitches. I’ll pass on your kind thoughts to her!
hi my mum is also 91 and has just had a fall I hope she can bounce back like your mum , she has lived alone since dad passed away 15 years ago, she has just had to move in with my sister and hoes to go back home soon , your mum sounds amazing
Hi Vikki. I am sorry to hear about your mom. The issue with mom’s falling was due to her meds. Once she got that sorted and got a spiffy walker she’s been much better. I do hope your mom can get her problem solved and that she moves back home soon. It’s such a worry, I know. Take care and thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment.