Up until 10:00 last night I had every intention of crafting a Just Typikel post honouring Father’s Day and the Finish the Sentence Friday prompt of “Dear Dad.” I was going to write an imaginary letter to my late husband and wax on about how oddly delightful it was that despite the fact that he died when they were really little (and have no actual memories of him) our two children often practice gestures and habits that are JUST like him. Sometimes they are so like him it’s downright spooky. However that intension has gone kaput, pffft and splat. Because of last night. Yes, because of that unexpected smash and grab theft of my cell phone I am going to write a letter to the thief instead. So sit back boys and girls. Buckle up – we’re in for a bumpy ride.
When Fatherly Love Takes a Back Seat
Dear Mr/Ms Smash and Grab,
I’m curious. What was it like? Was it scary or was it a complete rush?
I’m guessing you were travelling by bike. You plucked that hefty sharp-edged granite boulder from the neighbour’s crumbling garden wall and darted down the road peeking into the parked cars. At first you must have been disappointed to be met with just empty, treasureless vehicles. Then you happened upon mine and its pink and black polka-dotted cell phone which fell unnoticed just hours earlier from my purse. Oooh! Pure gold. Wow. How many times did you check over your shoulder for witnesses. Once, twice? Or did you just simply huck the f**king rock and hope for the best?
As for the throw, well you must have excelled at baseball at school, no? Such strength and skill it must have taken to wing that sharp rock not only through the front passenger window of my car but also right through to the other side. Wow. That crack in the gray plastic lining of the driver’s door was impressive.
Oh and the glass shards of every possible shape and size that were absolutely bloody everywhere? Thank you! If it wasn’t for my sister’s gesture of her thick gardening gloves I’d be sporting some serious scrapes and cuts today.
No, we didn’t sweep the glistening mess from the road. We should have but it was getting rather late by the time we ransacked the car to see if you’d taken anything other than my phone. I know, you probably initially considered shouldering off with my son’s bike that we’d thrown in the very back after picking him up from work on the way to dinner. But then you saw the rusty chain and the ripped seat. Not worthy of the effort. I understand. It is an old piece of crap.
But guess what? Silly you. You didn’t think to look in the middle seat! My biker had stashed his backpack down on the floor. You sadly missed out on his stuffed wallet and his phone! Shucks. If you’d left a business card I could have popped them in the mail to you.
What’s that? How’d I spend the rest of my evening? Well, while you were stabbing away at the password on my phone (Yes, I’ll keep you guessing. Keep working on it – how difficult can four numbers be?) I was plucking minute glass shards from my fingers, googling “what to do when your cell phone is stolen” and subsequently feverishly cancelling my phone contract and changing passwords on all the possible accounts I could think of. I must say the chap on the other end of the line at the non-emergency police number was a gem. He couldn’t have been more sympathetic. You probably stole from him or his great-aunt’s sister’s husband last month.
Anywho, after my lengthy and oh so refreshing two solid hours of sleep I did get up at 05:45 and go on my scheduled coffee/walk with a dear fellow swimming mom. Sorry but you weren’t going to spoil that. Were your ears burning? We spoke of you. Often. She was wonderful and helped put things in proper perspective for me. It was just a phone after all. No one was hurt. It was just a phone.
And today? Well you did put the kibosh on writing for a bit. Instead I found myself chinwagging with all sorts of strangers thanks to my daughter and her lengthy list. She is so like her father. He, too, was fond of lists. First we had the insurance company who advised me to cancel last night’s online application. Apparently there were at least 630 folks ahead of me in line online. Much better to do it live over the phone. Then, we moved on to Betty at the auto body shop. As Mathew has stepped into retirement I reached out to dear Betty and her crew who have helped us out before. She invited me to bring the car around for a consult right then and there! You should have come. We admired your work. Gord was puzzled over the fact that passenger door refuses to open. Clever you! You really jammed those glass shards deep into the door, didn’t you. And your dad thought you’d never amount to much.
This next bit will come as a disappointment. We were able to secure the use of their complimentary loaner car. Even though we can’t cart our dog around in it (due to future drivers with dog allergies) it is a splendid little peppy puppy. Takes corners like a dream.
Our next stop on my husband’s daughter’s list was to pop into the phone shop in the local mall. My son was initially reluctant to come along on this venture. Croatia vs Brazil beckoned. Yes, just like his late dad he is full on into World Cup soccer. But guess what? The phone guys were too! They had a huge screen, much better and ever so much larger than ours at home. Winning!
Long story short. Phone replaced, car being fixed, post written. You have stymied us but not defeated us. Not by a long shot.
Sincerely,
Me.
This wraps up my Finish the Sentence Friday post. Today’s prompt was “The nicest thing someone ever did for me was…” With many people doing many kind things for me over the years I chose to go with the most recent. Many thanks to my marvelous hosts Kate Can I Get Another Bottle of Wine, Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic, Stephanie’s Mommy, For Real and Kristi’s Finding Ninee.
63 Responses
Seriously, that is just horrible that your phone was token and they damaged your car to get at it. But I will say this, I love how you weaved an awesome blog post out of this. It is as my mother always said getting lemons and making lemonade!
Oh but we do make a lot of lemonade in life, no? Just really happy that I’m back up and running phonewise! Hope your family has a splendid Father’s Day weekend!
I’m with Janine: sucks that your window was smashed and your phone taken. But the post was well written and inspired. I hope that the glass was out of your fingers by the time that you were typing the post!
Actually found a bit of it in the sheets this morning! Yikes. Good thing my daughter kept reminding us on the “airy” drive home to “not put our fingers near our mouths.”
I am so sorry that happened to you. That truly sucks. But I love your spunky attitude and the outcome. #Winning! :)!
Hahaha!Thanks Allie. My son was grimacing when he overheard my daughter laughing at the “Winning” reference. However he needs to read it in context, no?
Oh Kelly so sorry that happened to you!! As a wonderful collegue of mine once stated “there aint no cure for stupid”. I love your fiery words ,well deserved indeed. You should pass this along to the local paper and let them run it. Maybe our stupid friend will read it.
Mean people suck and I am truly sorry this happened to you. However, game ,set and match for you!!. I also believe that in the heavens above your husband is smiling a prideful grin your way!!
Thanks Janice. I’ll take you up on the fire off to the local paper idea. If they did pick it up I couldn’t read it. They are no longer delivering to our area since H quit. Too difficult and hilly a route!
Well said Kelly. So sorry to hear of your smash and grab ! Hope your car is fixed quickly and your new phone is good !
Thanks Jane. Yes, everything is pretty much back to normal now. Bank account took a wee hit but in the big picture
“it’s only money” as Mom says.
Sorry to hear of this, but at least you got back with this! #FTSF
Thanks Tarana. The topic was a wee bit different than I intended. Ah well – there’s always next year!
Sorry to hear of this, but at least you got back by writing this! #FTSF
Oh my gosh Kelly. My jaw dropped and stayed on the counter the entire time I was reading this. WHO would take smash a window like that???? Crazy. We’ve lost things at night when we didn’t lock our cars but to heave a rock through. That had to be a big stone and thrown with a lot of force. I would feel so violated. I’m so sorry. No doubt sometimes writing is a good outlet. I’m sad for another reason — I love the idea of writing a letter to your late husband. Talk about teary-eyed. Oh well, it wasn’t the time. So sorry you had all that other pain-in-the-rear drama to deal with.
Aw thanks Jamie. It has been a bit of a slog. However most everyone has been more than willing to help and I’ve chitchatted with some lovely folks over the phone. Thank heavens for landlines! Yes, it was a sense of violation. It was ugly and shocking and so unnecessary. I’m always really careful with my phone but it popped out of my purse unnoticed. Only realised it was missing when I went to take a photo of the window damage. Ouch. Hope you never have to go through this – keep nothing in your car and you should be fine! I’m sure has heck going to be more vigilant!
What a stupid s***thead! Sounds like you have it under control, though.
Stupid s**thead indeed. Thanks Kathy. After a day devoted to nothing else it is finally sorted.
Dang all of that damage for a cellphone. Sorry you had to go through that. I need to change my password to something not easy to guess. It wouldn’t have taken the thief many tries to get into mine.
Yes Kenya. My advice is to change it now! A tech pal of mine says that’s the biggest mistake in the world of passwords – making it an easy one. We were talking about a local singer whose info was compromised because her password was “1234”. Oops.
Absolutely brilliant. And as my dear (departed) father would say, you made chicken soup out of chicken shit. (Oh, wait, that might have to be the inspiration for a future blog post… watch for it.) I am so sorry that happened to you. And I’m with Janice. Send it to the paper.
Chicken soup out of chicken shit. Oh my god but that just says it all.Love it. I’ll watch for the post! And yes – I’ll fire mine off to the local paper… Thank you!
I can’t believe somebody threw a rock through your window for your phone. Sigh. Sorry you had to deal with that but happy that the wallet and cell phone in the back were left alone!
Oh Kristi we were SO lucky. I had no idea my phone had popped out of my purse and I had NO idea my son had left his backpack complete with wallet and phone also in the car. That isn’t happening again. Trust me.
Kelly, I am so sorry. Karma will take care of your phone thief, I am certain. WHO does that?? I truly can’t imagine. Kudos to you for rising above it with humor and perspective.
Thanks Stephanie. With you on the karma front. However we sure won’t be leaving ANYTHING in the car again. I’m so aware of that – and now I know that my kids need to be too. Funny – had NO idea my son left that treasure filled backpack in car. So thankful our smashngrab thief didn’t know either …
I can’t believe they did all that for a phone. I would have rather just bought them a phone and one month’s worth of minutes than clean up the mess of breaking the window. I had Christmas gifts stolen from me twice in one year. One set of thieves took the stash I had in the back end of my car, and then a week later, another set took the stash I had in my mom’s garage. It was awful because I pretty much had to buy the entire Christmas twice and then on Christmas day, I got sick with a stomach flu that kept me in the ER Christmas Eve all night, so the kids opened their gifts and ruined everything, lost pieces, broke things, made a mess without actually playing with any of their toys, like the Easy Bake Oven became a piggy bank to hold pennies… all because of the noravirus knocking me out of commission.
Oh when it rains it pours,no? Man alive that must have been awful for you. Just the vision of the Easy Bake Oven becoming a piggy bank. And spending Christmas Eve in the ER? How god awful. Have to say I’ve not been treated to that delight. Here’s hoping all your Christmases are thief free and healthy from now on!
And it’s weird too. My dad was married before he married my mom, and he had three kids with her. When he married my mom, his ex didn’t really want anything to do with him, so he didn’t really see his kids from her often (like once a year) while they were growing up. Then his oldest daughter went to another state for college, got her Masters, and found a job in a different state entirely. She never saw him through those years until she was working somewhere we would vacation as a family to visit her. When we did visit her, I was always amazed at how she has all my father’s gestures as if she was raised by him every day of her life. It was just crazy.
That is crazy Michelle. I can believe it though! When my son hikes up a steep hill with his hands clasped behind his back I always do a double take. It’s the spitting image of his dad.
Well damn, Kelly. Since it’s working out, I want to say that it’s becoming typical to expect the unexpected here. What a trove of writing treats. You sure know how to manage high wire acts, so to speak. Me? A break in for a radio years ago. I didn’t miss the radio, I’m a silent driver. But I felt violated. So, I remember those feelings. Sending you a hug. No, make it two.
Yes it’s that feeling of being violated. Horrid. Thank you for the double hug. I truly appreciate it and am firing a jumbo couple right back at you.
OH no – I want to come and kick some serious butt for you – that is awful!!! Too bad you don’t have that tracking system (I don’t really know exactly what I’m talking about except that some parents use it with their teenagers) so you could see where that jerk is with your phone!!!
Sorry you had to deal with all of that today – hope that your weekend is full of great things!!!
Yes please come and commence the serious kicking! Thanks Kim.
Jeesh. I’ve never experienced a smash and grab, but have had stuff stolen, including a fender, bumper and overrides off my ’67 VW bug which was parked up in the driveway. Violated is the perfect description. Glad you could write about it, although I’d still love to read that post to your late husband.
Thanks Linda. I’ll have to write that post sometime. Perhaps next Father’s Day! Can’t believe you got all that stolen off your car. Confession time – had to google overrides …
Dear Kelly, This is your most authentically, typikelly written piece yet, in my books. You see, knowing you as I do for your whole life, this post hits to the core of who you are; bright, witty and ever so piercing, in a gentle sort of way. Those b*s%@)#ds who did the smash and grab may have taken away your phone, “Poopy’s” car and many hours AND they didn’t take away your pride, sense of humour and sense of honour. Uncle J would be applauding about now as would Grandad. Bravo! May the bugger get a numb thumb from trying to work out your password. Kudos, love and cheers, Weewee
PS Little G was ever so lucky to have a special ‘tub’ that night whilst criminals frolicked outside looking for granite projectiles. Who knew such an act would bring such an outpouring of love???
Aw thanks Wend. I appreciate your kind words so, so much. Yes, bring on the *&^%$# numb thumbs.
Gosh…that was terrible, kelly.
But, the karma queen is also a bitch and you shall get your revenge 😉
TGIF!
Love that karma queen concept Ruchira! Thank you!
Oh no! Kelly that’s terrible. It could have been worse, as your friend pointed out, but it could have been better, too. I just don’t get how someone has the nerve/lack of a moral compass and feels that they are entitled to take from someone else and destroy their property.
One bit of the story amused me, though: that you have a new car repair/body shop friend since Matthew has retired. Are you single-handedly supporting that industry in your town? 😉
Hahaha! That did occur to me as I wrote it … yes I suppose I am!
That just sucks! But your post…brilliant! I really don’t understand why people do this kind of stuff. What has happened to common decency? And earning what you have rather than taking someone else’s?
I know, it is bizarre isn’t it Michelle? I’m choosing to look at it as a crime of opportunity and it’s a mistake I won’t make again.
I am so sorry you had to go through that. I have not but I did watch it happen to several others who were attending the same gathering as I was in a park. I saw the guy on the cell phone watching us…thought he looked odd…something told me the scene was “off” but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Shortly after that, someone was yelling about their car getting broken into and they had scared off the individual doing the breaking along with his helper (acting like he was on the phone but really just making sure we all stayed put and warning his partner if we didn’t). We all ran to the parking lot discovering several cars had been cleaned out. Thankfully, mine was not one of them…odd since I had about $1,000 worth of electronics in pretty plain site. He was stopped just a couple of cars away…I suspect another minute or two and I would have been next. So sad that people make these choices in their lives.
wow – that is just so clever of them to do it with the phone contact sneakiness. You were so lucky Michele. This wasn’t my first smashing foray. I was at a swim meet a few years ago and had just parked my car after dropping my daughter off at a birthday party. All the usual spots were taken as I’d gone and come back mid day. I’d no sooner taken my spot on the bleachers when a swim dad came running over saying he saw my car window get smashed. I think it was done by the guy I’d smiled at when getting out of my car. He looked odd yet I automatically smiled. Nothing stolen then. Thankfully.
I completely agree with Steph about the karma. Although it might be a reversed consequence. I think you have to first suck at life to do something like that. The good news is that I believe in the power of attraction as well and when you’re putting out stone throwing and theft, guess what you’ll be getting?
I’m so sorry, Kelly. It sucks so much to lose your phone, but more so that sense of being exposed to things like that. Big hugs from me and glad that it happened when your kids were actually home.
xoxo
Thanks Katia. And yes so very true that it was good that it happened when my kids were home! Thanks for picking up on that.
I’ve had my apartment broken into a few times over the years; never had anything more valuable than used tvs to steal–a particularly annoyed burglar burst a bag of flour and defecated on the floor.
Still, it’s a violation, and I pray for your peace of mind.
Oh my that must have been a sight to come home to!
Oh my! First, sorry for the loss of your husband when your kids were small. You had to have been so strong. And then, sorry about the phone and all the time wasted to try and get life back on track after such a messed up theft. I hope you won’t dwell on it too much so that you can enjoy this Sunday. Take care and God bless!
Thanks Christina. Nope- I’m choosing to rise above the smash and grab and move on! Hope your Sunday is special as well.
Sorry you had this unexpected detour, but I so admire the grace you faced it with. But then again it’s just so typi-kel of you!
Thank you Deborah. Sometimes it’s hard to rise above things however, as my friend pointed out, it’s just a phone and a car window.
How very sad. I am a huge believer in Karma…..”what goes around comes around” and their day will come! So glad you were able to rise above it all and reclaimed your life!
Thank you Debbie. I am believing more and more in Karma.And yes – life is too short to sweat the small stuff!
First, I’m sorry. Second, bravo to you for surviving all that nonsense. Third, bravo for getting a fab, funny post of it!
I’ve had my car ransacked in my own driveaway and once in the Walmart parking lot. The Walmart parking lot is my favorite – there was nothing to steal (thanks to the previous driveway ransacking I drive around pretty bare bones now) and all the loose change from the thief’s pocket spilled all over my driver seat. So I came out like 82 cents ahead.
Oh you had me smiling Katy. This sounds so much like something that would happen to me. 82 cents up is impressive! I’m all about the bare bones too and will even be more careful from now on.
Seriously, WORST NIGHT EVER. I have only been the victim of a car smash and grab twice, and both times were just a ridiculous hassle. You feel so violated. Am glad that you took to the interwebs to tell this thief exactly how you felt!-Ashley
Well I felt better after writing it! Thanks Ashley. May we both encounter NO more smash and grabs!
oh no…I am so sorry…how horrible and evil. KARMA…they will get it returned twice fold…. You are amazing for handling it so well.
Thanks Karen. With each passing day I’m beginning to feel better and better about the whole thing.
Oh, that sucks! You’re right, it’s just a phone (and a car), but I would have been royally pissed like you were. I hope your letter made you feel better. Once I got into it with a jerk stealing my parking spot, and just writing a letter to him was cathartic. Of course he was gone when I went to put it on his windshield, but still.
It’s amazing how just writing a letter makes us feel better isn’t it? Hopefully we won’t need to write too many in the future though Dana!