See the “just typikel” drawn in the sand of my blog’s banner? It’s not a typo. It’s a saying that I attribute to those things that happen to me that don’t necessarily happen to others. Quirky, odd, unusual things. Not typical things but typikel things.
Yes, my Olympic 2010 memories are being put on hold for today. Instead, I thought I’d favour you with a classic just typikel yarn.
Just typikel neighbourly behaviour.
I’m lucky. I’m surrounded by lovely neighbours. The kind that are happy to chat in the back lane over the garbage cans and leave it at that.
A few years back, my neighbour Wanda who lives behind us toddled down her driveway as I was bringing in a car load of groceries.
“I see that you’re busy Kelly so I won’t keep you. Just wanted to give you the heads up that we’re going out of town for two weeks. Could you keep an eye on things?”
Keeping an eye on things in our neighbourhood consists of merely eyeballing the house and yard as you head for the car. No exchange of keys, no feeding of pets or watering of plants.
I readily agreed and promptly forgot.
A week or so later my kids and I were running late for a dinner at my sister’s. Fortunately I wasn’t bringing dessert this time. As I pushed gently guided them through the back gate to the car something caught my eye.
A white cargo van was parked backwards in Wanda’s driveway. The barn doors of its back were wide open, obliterating her back door.
Hang on a minute. Wanda drove a mini cooper. She was also away. It was obvious. Her house was being robbed!
I adopted my usual, totally uncontrollable, don’t-panic-just-deal-with-it sing songy British accent.
“All right loves, let’s just get in the car and drive around to the front of Wanda’s house, shall we? Spit spot.”
My stunned, “what’s gotten into mom now?” darlings leapt into their seats and quickly buckled up.
I drove around to the front and screeched to a halt glided by the curb across the street. It wouldn’t do to park right in front. He/She/They might notice me. I whipped out my phone and called 911. Wonderful mother that I am, I advised my darlings of the situation at the same time as the 911 operator.
“Yes, hello! How are you? Isn’t it a splendid day? I am perhaps being a bit silly, but I’d like to report at potential burglary at my neighbour’s house. It could be nothing however I feel it is my civic duty to report it. Would you please send around an officer to check it out?” was what I should have said.
“Wanda’s being burgled! Come now!” might be closer to my actual phrasing…
The soothing fluid tones of “Yes, ma’am. Please stay on the line with me” clashed wildly with the jarring shrieks of “Mom, Wanda’s being robbed? Let’s get out of here. Nowwwww!”
I was torn. On the one hand, what was an unarmed mother doing with her two children outside a house being burgled? On the other hand, what was she doing in the front when the get away van was in the back?
Just as I was about to question the necessity of us remaining at the scene a squad car pulled up; both lights and sirens off. It was serious. Two uniformed officers got out wearing dark coloured bullet proof vests. Paying no attention to us, they crept silently over to the side of the house with guns drawn and pointed down to the ground. Within seconds they disappeared around the back out of view.
Pure silence from the back seat. My two were more than aware that it was unwise to play “guns.” Did they really see two real ones?
Opinions changed. “Don’t drive away now Mom. ” I didn’t.
Very soon, much sooner than I would have predicted, one of the brave officers bounded up to our car; his gun holstered. Suddenly we were relevant.
“You’re the lady that phoned it in, right? Well, we just scared the bejesus out of some poor innocent guy in there …”
Oh dear. Wanda was having a wee kitchen reno done in her absence. A lone tiler taking advantage of a peaceful Sunday unfortunately got the fright of his life. All because of some just typikel neighbourly behaviour.
Wanda hasn’t advised me of any other upcoming vacations. It’s odd they no longer travel but I guess the kitchen reno was expensive…
Enough about me and my just typikel neighbourly behaviour. I’m curious about you. Is your life like mine and full of quirky events or is it smooth sailing all the way? If you’d care to share, I’d love to hear.
22 Responses
Oh my goodness, that’s hilarious! And it sounds EXACTLY like something I would do. Actually, I would be the person who would go away and ask someone to watch my house, completely forgetting to let them know that I was having some renovations done and there might be people there for that.
Love that. I suspect I’d be both persons Kristen… Happily haven’t been the fail to report person. Yet.
Oh that is too funny Kelly ! I am guessing that she won’t forget to mention a reno next time !!
The thing is she’s gone away several times since Jane. I’m not the one she alerts! Oops.
Kelly,
I think you did the right thing – better safe than sorry!! Thanks for the giggle and i am glad to have you as a neighbour.
Thank you Janice. I’m glad to have you as a neighbour! Want me to watch Sid?
Great story can imagine doing the same!
Bless you Barbara. Glad to know I’m not alone …
Crying with laughter…and your fake, everything is okay British accent almost made me spit coffee all over my keyboard!! SO.FUNNY. I am dying!!-Ashley
Well thank you. The thing is – it is but one of many “just typikel” events that have induced the British accent …
Well, I’m proud of you for calling the police. How could you have possibly known that she was having the kitchen renovated without her telling you? But this did make me laugh out loud, too. When Jacob was under a year and I was at work, his babysitter took him for a stroller ride to the playground and accidentally locked herself out of the house without extra food or water for him. When she got back to the house, she called me multiple times for over an hour, but in a brilliant step for a new mother, I had turned off the ringer on my cell phone and didn’t get her increasingly frantic messages until hours later. In the meantime, she (level-headed woman that she is) called the local fire department to see if they could let her in; while they were reluctant to let her into the house since it wasn’t her house, they did recognize that the baby needed his food and called the local police department, who did let her in. (I believe one of them climbed up onto our deck (which at the time didn’t have stairs, so it wasn’t something Michelle could have done on her own, and esp not with an infant in tow) and found that the sliding glass door was unlocked, so they didn’t actually have to break into the house for her. But that’s the closest we’ve come to calling the police ourselves. 🙂
Noooo. Oh Donna this is quite something. Of course you turned off the ringer! I would have too. What a clever woman to call the fire department and I love how the police responded. What a blessing that sliding door was unlocked, eh? She must have been so relieved. Poor you though when you saw the “missed calls.”
Reminds me of when I was little and locked myself in the upstairs bathroom. My folks were away and my grandmother called the police. She was terrified I’d burn myself with hot water. Next thing I knew a fireman was climbing in the window. I must have been 3 and I’ve never forgotten.
We have neighbors who are fantastic and a couple who are always creating some problems. I won’t go into the details. Suffice it to say, the police have been by on numerous occasions to open one neighbor’s door (without keys) to wake everyone in the building up and search and arrest. I look forward to moving to a farm with acreage and our nearest neighbor miles away… peace and quiet (except for the wildlife) would be a blessed change.
Loved your story… poor guy, you probably put a few years on him. lol! Much love, blessings and peace to you! ♥
Wow – I am sorry Jean. That must be so hard. We had a similar issue with tenants across the street and fortunately the owner tore down the house and rebuilt. We were all so happy when he moved his own family into the new house. Re the poor tiler – to this day I regret not going into the house and apologising …
We live out in the country, wild country–mountains, forest, that sort of thing. Weather can create havoc on phone lines out here. Well, we once had a fax machine that would take it upon itself to auto-dial 911 during storms, something we weren’t aware of until sheriffs showed up at our door. Apparently it’s not unheard of, they said they’d get one or two during every storm. After the second time this happened (or was it the third?) I decided we didn’t really need a fax machine after all.
I’m sorry but I am laughing – that is hysterical. So very like something that would happen to me. I just love this. No – I’m with you, you don’t really need a fax machine after all…
Good for you for calling the police. How were you to know about the kitchen reno and she DID ask you keep an eye on the place. I call the cops on the people across the street. They have huge parties in their backyard complete with mariachi music and loudspeakers. When you can hear them clearly, in the living room with all doors and windows shut – enough! Luckily, they seemed to have got the message and no loud parties recently.
We had a very similar situation here Linda. I called the cops at 10:00 one night when a newly moved in tenant was screaming about the tenant above her. It was really scary. All good now thankfully. May your neighbours stay quiet too.
Oh my gosh. That’s HILARIOUS. And, of course, she SHOULD have told you someone would be there to do some work!! I probably would have done the same thing.
Thank you Meredith – lovely to hear from someone else that they would have done the same thing …
I had to laugh out loud when I read, “Wanda’s being burgled!” hahaha. Omg, that is SO funny! But hey, had it been a thief you’d have been a freakin’ HERO! Oh, but that poor tiler…officers with their guns drawn – OMG. Heart attack.
I know! To this day I truly regret not apologising to the poor fellow. Man alive – I’ll bet he dines out on that story at least once a month. It he’s still with us that is …