I am delighted to step back from the keyboard today and hand the mouse over to a very special guest. Eli Pacheco of the blog Coach Daddy is sharing his first tree as a new Dad story. It’s a corker that’s bound to restore your faith in the kindness of others. I’d keep a tissue handy.
I first “met” Eli when he reached out to me to ask if I’d participate in his monthly 6 Words post which is based on Ernest Hemingway’s brilliant belief that you can tell any story in a six-word sentence. I happily joined the ranks of his extensive coterie of “bloggers, friends, strangers and strange bloggers.” Since then I’ve been a regular follower of his popular blog. It never fails to give me a chuckle, move me to tears or stun me with the realization that I am woefully inept when it comes to American football.
Our relationship blossomed further when he had a lapse in judgement generously asked me to pop over to Coach Daddy for one of his regular Wednesday guest posts where I shared the horribly muddy experience of the corn maze from hell. His engagement with readers in the comments section cemented my adoration. His replies are worthy of a post of their own.
Over the years my two children have been through a lot of coaches in many different sports. With the exception of that one soccer dude who shouted venomous encouragement including the memorable “you’re playing like GIRLS” to my son’s team, all of them have been wise, funny and inspiring. Eli is no different. A former sports writer, his blog began as one about fatherhood and coaching soccer. His tagline gives but a mere hint as to how it has evolved. “It’s all about Fatherhood, Futbol and Food.” Check out his Coach Daddy once you’re done giving him some love here in the comments. Did I mention he loves comments?
Enough of my blathering. Let’s get to the story of Eli’s first tree!
Take it away Eli!
First Tree
photo credit: Andy BealPhoto.com via photopin cc
You can’t swing an elf off a shelf without hitting a feel-good Christmas movie.
Tis the season, I guess. The Hallmark Channel and ABC Family favorites create a genre all their own this time of year. You know how it goes.
Single Mom does her best with Troubled Kid.
New Drifter in town makes a less-than-stellar first impression on Single Mom.
Troubled Kid wants to play matchmaker for Single Mom and New Drifter.
Did I mention Single Mom hates New Drifter?
Or that New Drifter is Santa Claus?
Not all Christmas angels are Dean Cain or Steve Byers. You might find them in places you might not expect. Places like the farmer’s market in Asheville, N.C.
I was a dad for only a month before my first Christmas as a father. Seventeen years ago, Elise, my oldest of three daughters, was almost born on my birthday. Despite a late-night walk on a cold and starry night, my wife’s labor slowed down on Nov. 18 and stopped. Elise wanted her own birthday.
Nov. 19 was all hers.
With Elise just two weeks old and still a doughy mass of cute, I set out for our first Christmas tree. We lived in a comfortable, sun-friendly two-bedroom apartment in an Asheville suburb called Skyland. I could drive the Blue Ridge Parkway to work if I chose. I often chose.
A young family often doesn’t have much disposable cash – especially when you factor in the cost of disposable diapers.
With bills paid and rent covered, I took $20 and my Toyota pickup to the farmer’s market. Mom stayed warm at home with baby. She dreamed of an awesome tree for Elise’s first Christmas. “It doesn’t matter if it’s pretty,” she said. “I just want it to be big, with lots of branches, and touching the ceiling!”
As a young dad, I knew what a loaf of bread and a tank of gas should cost. I also knew I wanted to make this first Christmas special.
photo credit: R. Motti via photopin cc
I had no idea what a colossal Christmas tree with lots of branches that touches the ceiling costs.
Twenty dollars is enough for a small wreath made of Christmas tree branches, I discovered.
I wandered through the farmer’s market, looking for Fast Freddie’s Cheap Trees. Or maybe splinters of trees tossed in a trashcan I could duct tape so high they’d touch the ceiling. Nothing.
One of the last places I looked had just a few trees, and no prices. I wasn’t in the mood to haggle. I just needed to be set straight on what I could afford. Visions of Charlie Brown trees started to take shape. A thin man in jeans and a flannel shirt ran the show.
We talked as I sized up the long-and short-needle trees. Some were squat, some tall, all beautiful. I might have mentioned it was my first Christmas as a dad.
“Do you have any trees for $25? It’s all I have.” (I also had a left-over fiver from lunch.)
He rubbed his stubbled chin. “Them over there,” he motioned to a wooden rack with three gorgeous Fraser firs leaning against it. “Any of them,” he said a bit quieter, “you can have for $25.”
I inspected the trio. They were majestic. They were the blue-chip prospects of the Christmas tree crowd.
One stood out. The tree man adjusted his cap. He wrapped up my tree, and helped me load it into the back of my truck as other vendors packed up their carrots and mountain-fresh berries.
It didn’t occur to me until I saw this beauty taking up the bed of my truck that it was no 20-dollar tree. More like $80. At least. The tree man shook my hand, wished me a muted Merry Christmas, and walked away. No smile, no Hallmark-movie moment of eye contact to freeze-frame his act of kindness.
I felt like a king to bring home that tree that night. Every Christmas, I remember about one man’s subtle compassion for a new dad with 20 bucks and no a clue.
Tis the season, I guess.
When he isn’t hustling claw games or finding a way to lose, Eli Pacheco is a soccer coach and father of three daughters who writes the blog Coach Daddy. Follow him on Google Plus, Pinterest and Twitter.
The Dose of Reality says
Well, I’m typing this in a puddle of tears. That is just the most beautiful story! I’ll take your tree guy Christmas angel over a Dean Cain type any day, Eli! There really are still good people in the world. (I realize this was years ago, but they are still here!) Here’s to all the Christmas angels who make the season brighter! –Lisa
Kelly says
Isn’t it a great story Lisa? And the best part is that Tree Guy did it so quietly. No fuss, no posturing. Love that. Reminds me of my wonderful Car Man who fixed my dinged car (had to fix it before my parents got home) days before Christmas and handed me my keys with a smile and a “Merry Christmas Kelly. No charge.” I agree with you that there are still good people in the world today. Eli is also one of them.
Eli@coachdaddy says
I liked that he did that too. I tried to make eye contact to thank him, but I think he knew how much it meant.
Kelly says
The fact that he resisted eye contact makes him even more of a wonder.
Eli@coachdaddy says
Thanks so much Lisa! Nearly 20 years later, I still remember the guy for one act of kindness. Makes me hopeful for any chance to do the same for someone else.
Kelly says
Yes, indeed the pay it forward delight. Go for it Eli.
Deborah Weber says
Oh this is such a heart-warming story! And a wonderful introduction to you Eli. How perfect to have such a quietly generous celebration of your first Christmas as a dad. And I’m betting not a Christmas has past that you don’t think about it.
Kelly says
Thanks Deborah. I know Eli will appreciate your comments. I’m also thinking his daughter is probably very happy she shares her birthday a day after her dad!
Eli@coachdaddy says
Thanks Deborah! Look forward to reading you too. I think of that guy every year I buy a tree – not because I’m hoping for a deal like that again, but in appreciation that he’d take a hit to the profit margin to be kind to a stranger.
Kelly says
Oh if he only knew the impact of his kindness… But you know what? I suspect he does.
Christine G. says
What a wonderful story! Yay for amazing guest bloggers – Thanks Kelli – for introducing us to Eli!
Eli@coachdaddy says
Thanks Christine – I’ve bookmarked your blog and look forward to checking it out!
Kelly says
It’s a pleasure Christine. He really is a gem who should be shared.
Kim says
I love Eli’s blog!! So fun to see him over here today!!!
What a sweet story of a man’s true generosity without feeling the need to make a big-to-do over it – my very favorite kind of story!!! I love that the man helped make Eli and his wife’s first Christmas as parents that much more special!!!
Eli@coachdaddy says
Love seeing you over here, Kim. Love seeing you anywhere!
I love how he just made it seem like not a big deal, but it was. He did me a huge favor. I’ll never forget it.
Kelly says
Hi Kim. It is fun having him over here! You summed it up perfectly with the “… without feeling the need to make a big-to-do over it.” That’s the best kind of kindness in my books.
Hallelujah Truth says
Kelly! It is so nice to meet you! I peeked in at your bio and reason for blogging and just really appreciate where you are in your life and love it that you are blogging! I find it so interesting how your blogging community expanded through guest posts! That is so cool. Well, this guest blog just gave me the shivers!
Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting! I will be back here for sure!
Kelly says
Hi! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I do appreciate it. Eli is a wonderful blogger and his posts always make me feel something. I’m glad you stopped by today on guest post day!
Eli@coachdaddy says
I’m glad this post resonated with you. Kelly just wrote a wonderful guest post on my site, too, about the hell of a corn maze. Definitely worth a click – the link is in the post above!
Kelly says
Back at ya, Eli! ***Thanks!***
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom says
What a wonderful story of your first Christmas- tree-as-a-dad! I love his generosity and matter-of-factness about it. Thanks for sharing! It would make a good Hallmark movie (and Hallmark usually makes a 2 hour movie from a 5 minute story so there’s that!)
Kelly says
Hahahah! Bang on Katy.
Eli@coachdaddy says
I wonder who would play me … I’d vote for Orlando Bloom, but it’d probably be George Lopez. Clint Eastwood could play this guy. They could cast me opposite the woman who plays Jan in the Toyota commercials. I like her.
Kelly says
Pure Eli. Golden.
Kelli Spencer says
Nice!! Brings back memories of my first Christmas as a first-year mom and wife. We had zip to purchase a tree. Living in the country, our neighbor owned acres of land all around us. Where there were many straggly looking pines all over. It was there that we found one to bring home. It resembled much of Charlie Browns tree. But it was beautiful to me. 🙂
Kelly says
Those ones are beautiful too Kelli! I remember one that was too small and narrow for the Christmas tree stand. We had to keep shoving wads of paper in the stand.
Eli@coachdaddy says
Thanks Kelli – I think there are expenses young parents just don’t figure on, from little things like a broom and dustpan to big things like Christmas trees. Even a Charlie Brown tree can be majestic, with a little bit of love.
Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says
Well, since I’m a sucker for all that Hallmark and ABCFamily stuff, I’m a total goner on a story about a nice man cutting a new dad a break. Christmas spirit totally sucks me in.
I’m pretty sure our first Christmas as parents, we didn’t do a whole lot of anything grand because Kidzilla was still so young and I was still struggling physically from her birth and returning to work too soon. It just all felt like too much. So we made choices. I remember crying a lot at the time about how “it wasn’t supposed to be like this.” It seemed to matter then. It really didn’t. It definitely doesn’t now. The best part was that we were together and alive at all.
Happy Christmas to all!
Kelly says
Kidzilla! Love it! I remember being so happy that we made it through both Christmas and New Year’s before our first was born. She came in early January. Actually walked on Christmas Day for the first time and it was right by the tree.
You’re right – everything looms so large when they’re little. Perspective is a wondrous thing.
Eli@coachdaddy says
Lisa – those are the lessons we learn when we’re young families, aren’t they? And that desire for the idyllic is born from a desire to give those we love the very best. It comes from a good place. When it doesn’t come together like that, you’re right, we can learn to appreciate where the real blessings are.
Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says
That’s exactly where it comes from, Eli – we just want to give those little girls every single perfect thing. Parents have such high expectations for ourselves, don’t we? Probably far higher than those of our children, if truth be told.
Yvonne says
Oh, what a wonderful heart that man had/has. Talk about paying it forward, eh? I wish more people would act in this way.
Kelly says
I know! I do too. It’s stories like this that lift the spirits, isn’t it?
Eli@coachdaddy says
Yvonne – you’re right, a wonderful heart. And the best way to ensure more people act this way is to act that way ourselves.
Janice says
Love the story! Feel good stories always leave an impression deep within. So thanks for the wonderful lesson on recognizing moments. So as we all prepare to hustle and bustle this holiday season lets remember Eli’s story. Lets look around us and perhaps donate time to a charity, buy a coffee for someone on the street, or simply give an extra smile or two to those that look like they need it. For as Eli’s story tells us kindness shows no time limit. The impression for him is likely as vivid as 20 short years ago.
Thanks for sharing Kelly, and most especially Eli!!
Kelly says
Brilliant suggestions Janice. And I love your comment that kindness shows no time limit. That’s so true. And yes here we are almost 20 years later and Eli’s sharing it here. That says it all for me.
Eli@coachdaddy says
That memory is so good it cancels out some of the worn-out Christmas songs that start playing in early November! I think if each of us is aware of those moments we can show some humanity in a humble way, we’re on the right track.
Tat says
What a story, Christmas magic in action!
Eli@coachdaddy says
I’ll never forget it, Tat!
Kelly says
It sure is Tat!
Kathy G says
I’ve been concentrating on everyday things so far this month, so this story is a great introduction to the holiday season. Thanks!
Eli@coachdaddy says
Glad it came along at the right time, Kathy. And I look forward to reading your blog. I just bookmarked it!
Kelly says
Me too Kathy. I’m just now making a list and checking it twice.
Rachael Boley says
Oh I just love this story. So well written, and such a beautiful reminder of humanity. What a memorable Christmas it must have been and a memory you’ll have forever to share with your girls. You did good coach!
Eli@coachdaddy says
Thanks Rachael! I was fortunate to have spoken to him that day. I hope the girls see enough kindness and appreciation of kindness out of us to leave an impression. Words alone won’t do it.
Kelly says
He did didn’t he Rachael.
Stacy says
Excellent guest post and a great reminder about angels not looking like we expect!
Kelly says
Oh so so true Stacy! Those fluffy white feathery wings don’t always make an appearance.
Eli@coachdaddy says
Stacy – I couldn’t even see his wings.
Dana says
Eli and Kelly – two people who I’d love to hang out with. Can we make that happen?
I had no idea trees were so expensive, and that was 17 years ago! I suppose I shouldn’t complain about the $10 box of Hanukkah candles.
Eli@coachdaddy says
I’d love to split a pizza with the likes of you two. It’ll go on my bucket list.
Christmas trees are outrageous – and the drink lots of water and end up on the curb Dec. 26 in one of the most unceremonious dumps in holiday history.
Can a box get you through all eight days?
Kelly says
Great question Eli!
Kelly says
Yes – Do let’s. I’ll hang out with you two anytime! We’re off to cut our tree on Tuesday. Want to come along for the experience? I don’t pay anything near as rich as that because we always go for a Douglas Fir which is much cheaper. Not $25.00 cheap mind you but not $80.00 either.
Harmony Harrison says
What a lovely story. I’m sure that the tree man’s kindness has been repaid tenfold over the years. Here in rural Oregon, where you can’t walk five feet without smacking into a Doug fir, Christmas trees are quite a bit less expensive. I had no idea that they could be priced so high. It makes the tree man’s kindness even more wonderful.
Eli@coachdaddy says
Thanks Harmony. I do hope that guy has had some of that compassion returned to him. I’ve been tempted to go the whole fake-tree route, but what would Christmas be without cats drinking out of the tree stand?
Kelly says
We’re also blessed with a wealth of Douglas Firs here too Harmony. The tree farm we go to also carries the Noble firs though so if one wants to spend the big bucks one can. We’re a dedicated Douglas Fir family!
Vickie Martin Conison says
Loved the post, and loved Eli’s blog. I’ve been lucky enough to be included in his 6 words blog – I love his style – it fits well with you in your blog!
Eli@coachdaddy says
Vickie – great to see you here, and I’m glad you liked this one. Kelly wrote a great post on my site too … about the perils of a trip to the corn maze on a muddy day.
Kelly says
Thanks Vickie. I’m delighted to have “met” him!
Kristi Campbell says
OH! I adore Eli! So to have you both in the same place today is a treat (and also great timing as we’re deciding whether to get our tree this weekend or next when my husband’s other son can come with us too but I’m impatient to get it and um sorry).
What an awesome perfect Christmas story! Sniff sniff!!!!
Kelly says
Do hope you manage to get your tree sooner rather than later Kristi! We’re getting ours on Tuesday. Sadly my son has an unforgiving exam schedule so he’ll miss out but my daughter and other family members are coming along. Including my 9 month old nephew! Yahoo. So fun to start the tradition with him. And yes, Eli is a delight, is he not?
Eli@coachdaddy says
Kristi! Great to see you here … and you know I adore you too. For every Hallmark-worthy season of Christmas tree shopping, there’s one like this year’s for us, in which two kids fought in front of the trees! It was more Jerry Springer than “One Starry Christmas.” But it worked out in the end.
Julia @ Frantic Mama says
That is the cutest story ever and would be absolutely perfect for a Hallmark movie…but the tree-seller guy would need to secretly be Santa, and Eli would have to be a single dad looking for love. Something along those lines :). Happy Holidays to both of you!
Eli@coachdaddy says
But what if Santa had a twinkle in his eye for me? Or could a character played by Amber Gainey Meade fit the bill? Because that would be pretty Christmasy for me.
Just bookmarked your blog, Julia. Looks like fun reading ahead!
Kelly says
Totally Julia! Let’s spice it up a tad by making him a recently single dad who has moved to create new momories for his only child – a daughter – and through the efforts of the Santa tree guy begins to fall for his child’s new teacher … Hang on, that was last night’s movie … sorry. Let’s just stick with your version! A very Happy Holiday season to you!
Eli@coachdaddy says
Holy smokes Kel – they really make movies like that? I feel like I need an insulin shot just hearing about it!
Janine Huldie says
Late to the show tonight and not sure how I didn see this earlier, but definitely my heart is filled with that much hope after reading and my face is dripping mess from all the tears I shed reading Eli’s tale from that first Christmas.
Eli@coachdaddy says
That’s not good for your keyboard, Janine! I didn’t promote this until today, so it might be the first you’re seeing of it. So glad to be here today.
There’s some good people out there, aren’t there, Janine? The best we can do is try and join them.
Kelly says
No matter what time you pop by you’re always more than welcome Janine. Eli hit it out the park with this one, did he not?
Janine Huldie says
Aww, thank you Kelly and he really did nail this one, but then again I wouldn’t expecy any less from Eli!! 🙂
Mo says
Such a beautiful story, Eli and what a great example of the true spirit of Christmas. For many of us, the Christmas tree is really the centerpiece of our holiday experience and fills our heart with joy. Just today my ten year old nephew told me the story of picking out their Christmas tree this year. He said it was love at first sight. He named the tree “Stanley” and is already dreading the “funeral” when they have to send the tree to the alley in a few weeks.
Hi Kelly!
Kelly says
Oh Mo – this is classic. How splendid that he has named the tree! Love the name – it reminds me of our incredible Stanley Park which a 1000 acre park in the middle of the city. You and your nephew must come and see it. Lots and lots of “Stanleys” there!
Lyn C says
I love Eli’s stories. This one is warm and fuzzy and one of the most beautiful true stories I’ve read in a long time.
Kelly says
I’m with you Lyn. I’m with you.
Eli@coachdaddy says
Thanks Lyn! Aren’t you glad he didn’t tell me to scram, and get a bucket of chicken with my 20 bucks? It wouldn’t have been nearly as good a story.
Tamara says
You know how they say “it takes two” when people are arguing? This post just made me think it’s the other way round, too.
Yes, that Christmas tree guy is a kind, generous person, and the world needs more of them!
During a day of tree selling, he surely met a broad spectrum of customers, many of them stressed out, snot-nosed and acting like they are entitled to the most gorgeous tree for as less money as possible.
Along comes that young dad, not sure how to approach this, but with an honest, genuine look on his face. Isn’t that the kind of customer you love to help out?
Either way – love the story! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Kelly says
You right Tamara – that IS the kind of customer I’d love to help out. I worked in retail for ten years and I couldn’t agree with you more.
Eli@coachdaddy says
And at the time, I honestly just wanted him to give me a tree he was going to toss.
Eli@coachdaddy says
Thanks Mo. It’s kind of where we gather, and in the years after this first tree, there have been trees less majestic, but no more central to us. No matter what, it’s in the middle, and is the next to carry the stories of the ornaments that go on it and the people who sit around it. All are dear to me.
You should see if you can donate the tree to those people who use them in lakes for fish hatcheries. It’s a more dignified exit!
Tamara says
Ack, what a sweet story.
I remember trying to get a Christmas tree in San Francisco – it costs $75 for a five-footer.
Then there was the year we almost died putting up our 20-foot-tree, which cost only $30, by the way!!
Either way, there’s always a story.
Kelly says
Yup there’s always a story! I’m dying to hear about that $30.00 number. It must have been a tree to remember!
Eli@coachdaddy says
I kind of like all your stories, TamTam.
Debbie @ Deb Runs says
What a sweet story to have to remember every year when you buy your Christmas tree. Thanks for sharing it with us, Eli!
Kelly says
So very true Debbie. So very true.
Eli@coachdaddy says
It’s kind of impossible to top that first year! But, what a great start to this thing called parenthood and the holidays. There have been a few memories made since.
Tarana Khan says
That’s a beautiful story Eli, especially since he did his good deed so humbly. I’m sure you had a great Christmas that year!
Kelly says
Isn’t it beautiful Tarana? We’re off to get our tree today. I’ll be sure to toast Eli’s angel with my hot chocolate.
Rorybore says
*reaches for kleenex*
Got me again Coach. <3
Kelly says
Glad I’m not the only one who races through kleenex with this guy …
Michelle says
I love this story, Eli!
The best part is how your Christmas tree friend obviously knew the meaning of Christmas. Humble, unassuming and unconditional–isn’t that what started this season?
A message that takes three hours (with commercials) to convey with a traditional seasonal movie. I love how people like this often shape our own messages and offerings to others. Thank you, Eli!
Kelly says
While we wait for Eli to comment I have to say that I agree with you Michelle. Humble, unassuming and unconditional – the three wise beginnings of this season.